1 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,696 We are gathered here today to immortalise in song 2 00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:23,199 the life and untimely death of a great legend. 3 00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:25,702 - Rango. - So sit back, relax, 4 00:01:25,702 --> 00:01:29,706 and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections 5 00:01:29,706 --> 00:01:34,503 while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero 6 00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:40,008 who has yet to enter his own story. 7 00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:56,693 Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. 8 00:01:56,693 --> 00:02:00,322 Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. 9 00:02:00,322 --> 00:02:03,783 The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. 10 00:02:03,783 --> 00:02:08,497 Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. 11 00:02:08,497 --> 00:02:12,502 "It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." 12 00:02:12,502 --> 00:02:14,504 She reaches for the poisoned chalice. 13 00:02:14,504 --> 00:02:18,383 Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne 14 00:02:18,383 --> 00:02:20,886 while her ageing father lies gravely ill. 15 00:02:20,886 --> 00:02:24,305 "Yes, I am gravely ill." 16 00:02:24,305 --> 00:02:26,600 "Hark, who goes there?" 17 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,102 'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, 18 00:02:29,102 --> 00:02:31,897 returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! 19 00:02:31,897 --> 00:02:33,983 Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, 20 00:02:33,983 --> 00:02:37,903 or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! 21 00:02:37,903 --> 00:02:41,699 The sting of my... 22 00:02:42,492 --> 00:02:43,909 Dr Marx? 23 00:02:43,909 --> 00:02:46,621 Dr Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. 24 00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:50,583 People, we've talked about this. Acting is reacting. 25 00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:53,295 Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. 26 00:02:53,295 --> 00:02:56,507 Mr Timms? You were good. 27 00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:58,800 Perhaps a little too good. 28 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,722 What's that, Victor? My character's undefined? That's absurd. 29 00:03:02,722 --> 00:03:07,810 I know who I am. I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. 30 00:03:07,810 --> 00:03:11,815 Every story needs a hero. I mean, who else is better qualified 31 00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:18,988 to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? 32 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,799 The stage is waiting. 33 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:41,805 The audience thirsts for adventure. 34 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,307 Who am I? 35 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,309 I could be anyone. 36 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:50,898 I could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage 37 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,693 to reclaim his mechanical arm! 38 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,906 Or I could be the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo! 39 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,409 Down, Chongo, down! 40 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,995 And if you desire romance, 41 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:12,796 I will become the greatest lover the world has ever known! 42 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:19,428 I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. 43 00:04:19,428 --> 00:04:23,223 You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. 44 00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:26,102 But you seem remarkably at ease. 45 00:04:26,102 --> 00:04:28,104 Stop it. No, really. 46 00:04:28,104 --> 00:04:30,607 Well, if you must. What are you doing? 47 00:04:30,607 --> 00:04:33,693 That tickles. Are those real? 48 00:04:33,693 --> 00:04:35,903 That's it! Conflict. 49 00:04:35,903 --> 00:04:39,324 Victor, you were right. I have been undefined. 50 00:04:39,324 --> 00:04:43,913 People, I've had an epiphany. The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! 51 00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:46,999 What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event 52 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:53,006 that will propel the hero into conflict! 53 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:49,232 Mr Timms? 54 00:06:29,608 --> 00:06:33,028 That's right! You! 55 00:06:33,028 --> 00:06:35,406 Don't be shy. Come on. 56 00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:37,324 It's okay. 57 00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:40,829 That's it, a little closer. 58 00:06:40,829 --> 00:06:42,539 Good. 59 00:06:42,539 --> 00:06:46,209 I won't bite you. 60 00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:49,004 I need a little help here. 61 00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:50,922 Are you okay? 62 00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:53,508 I must get to the other side. 63 00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:56,303 The other side? You mean, just now, that was you crossing the road? 64 00:06:56,303 --> 00:06:58,805 That's why the... 65 00:06:58,805 --> 00:07:00,141 Why'd you do that? 66 00:07:00,141 --> 00:07:03,310 This is my quest. He waits for me. 67 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,812 What? Who? 68 00:07:04,812 --> 00:07:08,524 The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. 69 00:07:08,524 --> 00:07:12,904 They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him. 70 00:07:12,904 --> 00:07:14,822 What are you talking about? 71 00:07:14,822 --> 00:07:18,701 Enlightenment. We are nothing without it. 72 00:07:18,701 --> 00:07:22,039 Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! 73 00:07:22,039 --> 00:07:24,542 I had an incredibly complex social network going! 74 00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:28,337 Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular! 75 00:07:28,337 --> 00:07:32,341 Friends? I don't see no friends. 76 00:07:32,341 --> 00:07:35,011 You are a very lonely lizard. 77 00:07:35,011 --> 00:07:38,514 Look, I need water, hydration. My teeth are chapped. 78 00:07:38,514 --> 00:07:40,725 I need lotion. I'm down to one layer of skin already. 79 00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:42,602 Pretty soon, I'm going to start seeing my insides. 80 00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:45,313 Not unlike what you've got going there. 81 00:07:45,313 --> 00:07:47,232 Listen, I can't survive in the desert, okay? 82 00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:49,317 I... I don't belong here. 83 00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:53,739 That may be true, but here you are. 84 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:58,118 Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek. 85 00:07:58,118 --> 00:08:00,704 - You will? - And perhaps more. 86 00:08:00,704 --> 00:08:03,124 Quickly. I must get back to my quest. 87 00:08:03,124 --> 00:08:07,211 - You mean you've done this before? - Yes. Many times. 88 00:08:07,211 --> 00:08:10,215 Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. 89 00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,634 The Spirit is waiting for me. 90 00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:15,720 Okay, okay. 91 00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:21,811 Okay. That's not going to work. 92 00:08:21,811 --> 00:08:23,938 I must get to the other side. 93 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:27,525 Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? 94 00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:29,235 It's not so easy as it looks. 95 00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,528 What? 96 00:08:30,528 --> 00:08:33,906 Is a metaphor. 97 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:05,315 There's another one! 98 00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:08,319 I knew it. 99 00:09:18,037 --> 00:09:19,914 You need a little help, amigo? 100 00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:23,042 I think the metaphor broke my spleen. 101 00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:25,712 The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. 102 00:09:25,712 --> 00:09:28,631 I'm just looking for the path to water. 103 00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:34,513 If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt. 104 00:09:34,513 --> 00:09:36,640 Dirt. 105 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,226 Destiny, she is kind to you. 106 00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:43,147 Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. 107 00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:47,944 At noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterious ritual. 108 00:09:47,944 --> 00:09:51,740 A town? You mean, with real people and everything? Where? 109 00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:56,328 A day's journey. Follow your shadow. 110 00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:59,915 You want me to just walk out into the desert? 111 00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,125 That's the way. 112 00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,627 Okay. So you're saying 113 00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:07,214 there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. 114 00:10:07,214 --> 00:10:09,216 Go on. It's okay. 115 00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:11,135 Okay. 116 00:10:11,135 --> 00:10:13,137 Well, then, I'm going. 117 00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:16,516 I am leaving the road now! 118 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:20,145 I'm walking into the desert! 119 00:10:20,145 --> 00:10:21,437 Alone! 120 00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:24,650 We all have ourjourneys to make! 121 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:29,946 I will see you on the other side. 122 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:44,629 Welcome, amigo 123 00:10:44,629 --> 00:10:48,132 To the land without end 124 00:10:48,132 --> 00:10:50,927 The desert and death 125 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:54,931 Are the closest of friends 126 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:57,935 We sing of his courage 127 00:10:57,935 --> 00:11:01,355 In magnificent song 128 00:11:01,355 --> 00:11:04,233 But pay close attention 129 00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:08,321 He won't be here long 130 00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:14,619 As the birds pluck his eyes The sun bleaches his bones 131 00:11:14,619 --> 00:11:22,336 See his entrails get scattered Watch him lose his cojones 132 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,718 Here in the Mojave Desert, 133 00:11:28,718 --> 00:11:34,056 animals have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. 134 00:11:34,056 --> 00:11:38,018 But the lizard? He is going to die. 135 00:11:38,018 --> 00:11:41,147 "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..." 136 00:11:41,147 --> 00:11:45,235 - Don't move. - What? 137 00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:51,241 - Don't move! - Not moving. 138 00:11:51,241 --> 00:11:52,326 Not moving. 139 00:11:52,326 --> 00:11:54,620 Try to blend in. 140 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:59,334 Blend in? What do you mean? 141 00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,336 Blend in. 142 00:12:01,336 --> 00:12:04,922 What are you saying? 143 00:12:04,922 --> 00:12:06,550 - Too late. - No, no. It's not too late! 144 00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:09,052 I'm blending! I'm a blender! 145 00:12:09,052 --> 00:12:14,141 Hey, calm down! What are you doing? 146 00:12:14,141 --> 00:12:16,059 Stop moving! 147 00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:20,856 Try not to look conspicuous. 148 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,948 - What are you doing? - I'm blending. 149 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,825 - Go blend somewhere else. - Don't distract me. 150 00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,744 - No room at the inn. - It's an art, not a science. 151 00:12:32,744 --> 00:12:35,329 - Find your own hiding place. - No, this is good. 152 00:12:35,329 --> 00:12:37,540 Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! 153 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:46,925 - What? I thought you said, "Don't move." - That was before. Now, you run. 154 00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:31,431 Oh, hey. Proboscis. 155 00:13:31,431 --> 00:13:34,059 Testy. 156 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:50,827 Please, no, please. I have vertigo! My glands are swelling! 157 00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:53,955 Please, no. 158 00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:04,049 You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! 159 00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:06,051 Get out of there. I'm going to strangle your huevos! 160 00:14:06,051 --> 00:14:08,763 Big bird! Big bird! 161 00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:11,557 No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! 162 00:14:11,557 --> 00:14:13,560 - Come on, we're friends, right? - I don't know you! 163 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,353 - Lizards, frogs... - Find your own hiding place! 164 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:17,146 - We're practically related! - No room at the inn! 165 00:14:17,146 --> 00:14:18,648 - Come on, move over! - You're not my friend! 166 00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:23,444 I'll let you kiss my sister! 167 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:33,247 You son of a... 168 00:15:26,345 --> 00:15:31,767 Where are your friends now, amigo? 169 00:15:57,962 --> 00:16:01,758 Get your slimy-webbed phalanges off my boots! 170 00:16:01,758 --> 00:16:02,967 Sorry. 171 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:06,263 I got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow 172 00:16:06,263 --> 00:16:07,764 lessen you want to spend the better part 173 00:16:07,764 --> 00:16:09,766 of the afternoon putting your face back together! 174 00:16:09,766 --> 00:16:12,561 - No, ma'am, I don't. - Who are you? 175 00:16:12,561 --> 00:16:14,939 - Who am I? - I'm asking the questions here! 176 00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:17,566 Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of a drought. 177 00:16:17,566 --> 00:16:19,360 Now someone's dumping water in the desert! 178 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,571 It's a puzzle of undeterminable size and dimension, 179 00:16:21,571 --> 00:16:24,573 but I intend to find out what role you playing in all this. 180 00:16:24,573 --> 00:16:27,452 - Role? - What are you involved in? 181 00:16:27,452 --> 00:16:29,871 Well, I'm glad you asked. 182 00:16:29,871 --> 00:16:33,040 I've got two one-acts, a mystery and a musical I've been gestating. 183 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:38,338 I got the words, I'm just working on the melody right now. It's like a... 184 00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:39,673 I think it's gonna be a western. 185 00:16:39,673 --> 00:16:42,342 A monkey got a cracker His mother was a slapper 186 00:16:42,342 --> 00:16:47,264 She'll be coming 'round the mountain in the rain 187 00:16:47,264 --> 00:16:51,352 You ain't from around here, are you? 188 00:16:51,352 --> 00:16:55,147 I'm still working on it. 189 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,149 So, what's your name? 190 00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,152 - Beans. - That's a funny kind of name. 191 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,155 What can I say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans. 192 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,074 Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus. 193 00:17:04,074 --> 00:17:05,367 What are you saying? 194 00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:07,578 I mean, I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself, 195 00:17:07,578 --> 00:17:09,872 but I'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker. 196 00:17:09,872 --> 00:17:14,544 My daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes. 197 00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:18,548 - Spicy. - You're eating his ashes! 198 00:17:18,548 --> 00:17:19,757 You carry his remains? 199 00:17:19,757 --> 00:17:23,178 No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body. 200 00:17:23,178 --> 00:17:25,263 Well, I'm sure he had his reasons. 201 00:17:25,263 --> 00:17:27,349 - What are you implying? - Nothing. 202 00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:29,351 My daddy was never near that mine shaft. 203 00:17:29,351 --> 00:17:31,061 He'd been sober for over a month! 204 00:17:31,061 --> 00:17:34,148 And for you to insinuate that he would abandon his parental responsibilities 205 00:17:34,148 --> 00:17:41,780 at a delicate time in my personal development is an affront to my sense... 206 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,949 Miss Beans? 207 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:47,745 Miss Beans? Hello? 208 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,957 Hello? 209 00:18:05,681 --> 00:18:07,641 And until the people ofAndromeda Five 210 00:18:07,641 --> 00:18:12,146 return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch! 211 00:18:12,146 --> 00:18:14,565 - What... What are you doing? - What are you doing? 212 00:18:14,565 --> 00:18:16,567 - What am I doing? - You're cuddling me. 213 00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,070 - You were frozen. - I was not. 214 00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:20,072 Yes, you were. You stopped talking. 215 00:18:20,072 --> 00:18:23,450 It's a defence mechanism. Actually, lots of lizards have it. 216 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,452 You're making that up. 217 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,746 So, you gonna die out here, or you want a ride into town? 218 00:18:27,746 --> 00:18:31,875 No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please. Thank you. Sorry. 219 00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:36,380 Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it. 220 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,882 So who are you, really? 221 00:18:37,882 --> 00:18:39,759 Well, I'm a man of many epithets. 222 00:18:39,759 --> 00:18:42,178 There's my stage name, my pen name, my avatar. 223 00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:44,765 I had a pseudonym once, but I had it legally changed. 224 00:18:44,765 --> 00:18:48,852 And so the stranger, seeking companionship, 225 00:18:48,852 --> 00:18:53,357 finds the woman, much like the sirens of ancient times 226 00:18:53,357 --> 00:18:58,153 luring him to his certain demise. 227 00:18:58,153 --> 00:19:00,073 ...nom de plume, I have a CB handle. 228 00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,866 I'm actually one of the few men with a maiden name. 229 00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:06,246 Whoa! Well, here we are. 230 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,170 Right. 231 00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:15,755 Well, I sure do appreciate this, Miss Beans, 232 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,176 - and if there's ever anything that I... - Get on up! 233 00:19:19,176 --> 00:19:21,178 Okay, then! 234 00:19:21,178 --> 00:19:24,681 See you, Beans. 235 00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:41,074 You heading out, Jim? 236 00:19:41,074 --> 00:19:44,286 Well, we gave it our best shot. We had to sell out. 237 00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:48,457 Can't grow no crops without no water. 238 00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:51,376 Bye, now! 239 00:19:55,089 --> 00:19:58,175 What is it? 240 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,388 What was that for? 241 00:20:01,388 --> 00:20:03,056 You're funny looking. 242 00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:05,475 Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too. 243 00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:07,978 - That's a funny-looking shirt. - That's a funny-looking dress. 244 00:20:07,978 --> 00:20:11,356 - You got funny-looking eyes! - You got a funny-looking face! 245 00:20:11,356 --> 00:20:15,777 You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here. 246 00:20:15,777 --> 00:20:17,988 Here's your beans, Beans. 247 00:20:17,988 --> 00:20:20,157 I'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie. 248 00:20:20,157 --> 00:20:24,286 Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. I can't give you more credit. 249 00:20:24,286 --> 00:20:26,580 But I'll have what I owe you at noon. 250 00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:31,962 You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack down at the bank. He cut off all credit. 251 00:20:31,962 --> 00:20:34,381 Hey, Beans! Beans! 252 00:20:34,381 --> 00:20:36,466 You know that there fella? 253 00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:38,469 Hey, Beans! Miss Beans! 254 00:20:38,469 --> 00:20:40,178 Nope. 255 00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:41,555 Hey, Beans! 256 00:20:41,555 --> 00:20:43,974 Hey. 257 00:20:44,391 --> 00:20:49,564 Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in. 258 00:22:18,574 --> 00:22:23,163 I'd like a glass of water. 259 00:22:23,163 --> 00:22:25,165 He wants a glass of water! 260 00:22:25,165 --> 00:22:27,292 Make it a double! 261 00:22:27,292 --> 00:22:31,464 Give him the spittoon! 262 00:22:33,591 --> 00:22:38,888 Cactus juice. That's what we got. 263 00:23:01,078 --> 00:23:02,872 Hey, there, fruit cup. 264 00:23:02,872 --> 00:23:07,084 You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? 265 00:23:07,084 --> 00:23:11,089 Who exactly are you? 266 00:23:13,967 --> 00:23:16,887 Who am I? 267 00:23:16,970 --> 00:23:20,766 I could be anyone. 268 00:23:21,976 --> 00:23:27,273 What's the matter? You missing your mommy's mangos? 269 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:30,401 As a matter of fact, I am. 270 00:23:30,401 --> 00:23:34,698 But not as much as your daddy's cooking! 271 00:23:34,698 --> 00:23:37,992 Exactly where did you say you were from? 272 00:23:37,992 --> 00:23:41,371 Me? I'm from the West. 273 00:23:41,371 --> 00:23:45,584 Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. 274 00:23:45,584 --> 00:23:48,879 The Far West. 275 00:23:49,296 --> 00:23:51,089 Yeah, that's right, hombres. 276 00:23:51,089 --> 00:23:53,884 The place I come from, we kill a man before breakfast 277 00:23:53,884 --> 00:23:56,804 just to work up an appetite. 278 00:23:56,804 --> 00:23:58,973 Then we salt him, and we pepper him. 279 00:23:58,973 --> 00:24:03,186 Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him. 280 00:24:03,186 --> 00:24:05,272 - You eat him? - That's what I said! 281 00:24:05,272 --> 00:24:09,568 Hell, I seen things make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! 282 00:24:09,568 --> 00:24:12,779 You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices. 283 00:24:12,779 --> 00:24:17,701 It'll change a man. Oh, yeah. 284 00:24:18,077 --> 00:24:22,999 Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. Just the way I like it. 285 00:24:22,999 --> 00:24:27,796 So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, I am not from around these parts. 286 00:24:27,796 --> 00:24:30,173 You might say I'm from everywhere there's trouble brewing 287 00:24:30,173 --> 00:24:32,592 and hell waiting to be raised. 288 00:24:32,592 --> 00:24:37,180 You might say I'm what hell's already raised up. 289 00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:39,599 Name's 290 00:24:39,599 --> 00:24:42,186 Rango. 291 00:24:45,607 --> 00:24:48,901 Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers? 292 00:24:48,901 --> 00:24:51,195 Killed them with one bullet. 293 00:24:51,195 --> 00:24:53,072 Don't get no deader. 294 00:24:53,072 --> 00:24:56,284 All seven of them? 295 00:24:56,284 --> 00:24:58,286 That's right. 296 00:24:58,286 --> 00:25:00,873 All seven of them. 297 00:25:00,873 --> 00:25:06,295 Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango? 298 00:25:06,795 --> 00:25:08,672 You know, I'm glad you asked me that. 299 00:25:08,672 --> 00:25:13,970 And I will be happy to tell you how. But you're all gonna have to listen up! 300 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:16,972 Because this is where it gets 301 00:25:16,972 --> 00:25:20,185 complicated. 302 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,771 That'll close out your account, Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig. 303 00:25:23,771 --> 00:25:29,403 Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left of your college education! 304 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,781 I don't rightly have no other choice, Beans. 305 00:25:31,781 --> 00:25:36,493 Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit. 306 00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:42,375 But this here is a bank. This is where you keep the water. 307 00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:48,298 Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy 308 00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:52,010 did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. 309 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:56,473 I've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. 310 00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:59,101 But that... Well... 311 00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:00,978 - Mr Merrimack? - Realities are bearing down. 312 00:26:00,978 --> 00:26:03,272 Mr Merrimack! 313 00:26:03,272 --> 00:26:05,107 Are you all right? 314 00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:10,697 Beans, I need to show you something. 315 00:26:16,411 --> 00:26:19,873 - That's all that's left? - And this here is the reserve! 316 00:26:19,873 --> 00:26:21,583 I don't know if you've noticed, 317 00:26:21,583 --> 00:26:25,212 but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more! 318 00:26:25,212 --> 00:26:28,799 Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some water, I'm gonna lose my ranch 319 00:26:28,799 --> 00:26:31,177 and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? 320 00:26:31,177 --> 00:26:34,513 Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. 321 00:26:34,513 --> 00:26:39,185 Someone is dumping water in the desert. 322 00:26:39,185 --> 00:26:43,690 I seen it with my own eyes. 323 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:45,692 Water in the desert? 324 00:26:45,692 --> 00:26:48,987 Was this during one of your special times? 325 00:26:48,987 --> 00:26:50,197 No. 326 00:26:50,197 --> 00:26:54,284 Well, we can all dream, but this is the reality. 327 00:26:54,284 --> 00:26:57,996 Why do you think so many people are selling out? They just can't make it. 328 00:26:57,996 --> 00:27:00,875 Well, what am I supposed to do? 329 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,711 Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. 330 00:27:03,711 --> 00:27:07,006 I hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis. 331 00:27:07,006 --> 00:27:08,216 The Mayor? 332 00:27:08,216 --> 00:27:11,010 He may be our only hope. 333 00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:14,014 Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, 334 00:27:14,014 --> 00:27:15,515 and that's when the roof caved in, 335 00:27:15,515 --> 00:27:17,684 igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol 336 00:27:17,684 --> 00:27:21,606 instantly vapourising his bodily form, leaving nothing but a charcoal statue 337 00:27:21,606 --> 00:27:26,194 and a high-pitched squeal. 338 00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:34,703 Hold on, there. That's only six. What happened to number seven? 339 00:27:34,703 --> 00:27:36,079 Number seven? 340 00:27:36,079 --> 00:27:40,792 Hell, he died of infection. 341 00:27:41,710 --> 00:27:43,879 - Seven men! - One bullet! 342 00:27:43,879 --> 00:27:47,716 Drinks all around! 343 00:27:48,717 --> 00:27:50,886 Dance for me, Sod Buster! 344 00:27:50,886 --> 00:27:55,099 - Yes, dance like a chicken! - That's right! Dance! 345 00:27:55,099 --> 00:27:57,309 You got corn in your ears, mate? 346 00:27:57,309 --> 00:28:00,396 You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land! 347 00:28:00,396 --> 00:28:03,609 - That's basic real estate law, my friend. - Quid pro quo! 348 00:28:03,609 --> 00:28:06,820 If I see your face in this town again, 349 00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:11,784 I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables. 350 00:28:11,784 --> 00:28:14,203 Mind the beak. 351 00:28:14,203 --> 00:28:18,207 And don't come back! 352 00:28:18,583 --> 00:28:23,421 What are you all gawping at? 353 00:28:24,797 --> 00:28:31,889 Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I got to tell you! 354 00:28:33,014 --> 00:28:34,391 What is this? 355 00:28:34,391 --> 00:28:38,521 You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango! 356 00:28:38,521 --> 00:28:42,399 Yeah, he ain't afraid of you! He ain't afraid of none of you. 357 00:28:42,399 --> 00:28:43,984 Killed them Jenkins brothers. 358 00:28:43,984 --> 00:28:47,614 - Done it with one bullet, Bill. - All seven of them! 359 00:28:47,614 --> 00:28:50,992 Is that right? 360 00:29:27,197 --> 00:29:32,119 Let me get that before you... 361 00:29:33,913 --> 00:29:38,000 No. Oh, I know. Here. 362 00:29:39,502 --> 00:29:42,797 Just take care of that for you. 363 00:29:42,797 --> 00:29:46,593 There. All better. 364 00:30:09,492 --> 00:30:13,788 T.O.T.O. Just a second. 365 00:30:14,414 --> 00:30:15,915 All right, now listen! 366 00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:23,590 I'm going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider! 367 00:30:23,590 --> 00:30:26,927 And if you don't want to reconsider 368 00:30:26,927 --> 00:30:32,725 I might consider reconsidering myself. 369 00:30:41,401 --> 00:30:44,904 Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. 370 00:30:44,904 --> 00:30:46,614 All right, now listen up! 371 00:30:46,614 --> 00:30:49,826 Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town. 372 00:30:49,826 --> 00:30:52,913 Got some new rules! I want my shoes shined every morning, 373 00:30:52,913 --> 00:30:54,916 my coffee hot, Danish on the side. 374 00:30:54,916 --> 00:30:57,210 Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye. 375 00:30:57,210 --> 00:31:00,004 Stay out of my peripheral vision! 376 00:31:00,004 --> 00:31:01,923 - It's Rango. - What's he up to? 377 00:31:01,923 --> 00:31:05,093 He ain't afraid of nobody. He's telling that bird what's for! 378 00:31:05,093 --> 00:31:07,220 And when you see me coming, stand aside. 379 00:31:07,220 --> 00:31:10,098 I take large steps and I don't want none of you hayseeds 380 00:31:10,098 --> 00:31:14,227 getting your bodily fluids on my boots! 381 00:31:14,227 --> 00:31:17,606 Of course, there is no need for violence, 382 00:31:17,606 --> 00:31:20,609 as long as we stick together, work as a team. 383 00:31:20,609 --> 00:31:24,112 So I want you all to come outside now and line up single file 384 00:31:24,112 --> 00:31:28,410 while I take a brief intermission! 385 00:31:28,410 --> 00:31:30,328 What's he doing now? 386 00:31:30,328 --> 00:31:34,917 I think it's a number two. 387 00:31:53,519 --> 00:31:56,606 Never mind. 388 00:32:16,419 --> 00:32:18,212 Take a look-see over here! 389 00:32:18,212 --> 00:32:19,505 Well, look at him now! 390 00:32:19,505 --> 00:32:21,507 He's chasing after that hawk! 391 00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:25,636 Give him hell, Rango! 392 00:34:16,922 --> 00:34:19,842 - Did you see that? - He killed that thing! 393 00:34:19,842 --> 00:34:22,219 What do you think, Doc? 394 00:34:22,219 --> 00:34:25,514 This hawk is dead! 395 00:34:25,514 --> 00:34:28,142 Shoot, I say we cook that right up. 396 00:34:28,142 --> 00:34:29,810 He did it with one bullet! 397 00:34:29,810 --> 00:34:31,520 Just like he said! 398 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,314 It's about time we had a hero around here. 399 00:34:33,314 --> 00:34:36,234 One who ain't in a pine box. 400 00:34:36,234 --> 00:34:39,237 I think it's time he met the Mayor. 401 00:34:39,237 --> 00:34:42,323 You hear that, Rango? You're going to meet the Mayor! 402 00:34:42,323 --> 00:34:46,745 Let's hear it for Rango! 403 00:34:47,913 --> 00:34:50,541 And so the stranger basks 404 00:34:50,541 --> 00:34:54,044 in the adulation of his new friends, 405 00:34:54,044 --> 00:34:59,217 sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception. 406 00:34:59,217 --> 00:35:01,010 When is he going to die? 407 00:35:01,010 --> 00:35:05,140 Soon, compadre. Soon. 408 00:35:20,030 --> 00:35:23,242 My land is not for sale! 409 00:35:23,242 --> 00:35:25,829 I came here to save my land, not sell it! 410 00:35:25,829 --> 00:35:30,833 I'm sure there's something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him! 411 00:35:30,833 --> 00:35:33,211 Beans! Where are you going? Beans? 412 00:35:33,211 --> 00:35:37,924 The Mayor will see you now. 413 00:35:40,511 --> 00:35:44,222 Water, Mr Rango, water. 414 00:35:44,222 --> 00:35:47,727 Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. 415 00:35:47,727 --> 00:35:52,523 But with water there's life. 416 00:35:54,025 --> 00:35:59,739 Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. 417 00:35:59,739 --> 00:36:03,743 That's the immutable law of the desert. 418 00:36:03,743 --> 00:36:08,248 Control the water and you control everything. 419 00:36:08,248 --> 00:36:12,836 But I don't have to tell you that being a true man of the West, as you are. 420 00:36:12,836 --> 00:36:17,216 Oh, yeah. The West is the best. 421 00:36:17,216 --> 00:36:19,427 This is from my private stock. 422 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:23,723 Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. 423 00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:29,937 Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, I'm not that old. 424 00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:32,941 I guess power has its privileges. 425 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:35,653 You make a good point, son. 426 00:36:35,653 --> 00:36:40,116 But with privilege comes responsibility. 427 00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:43,118 Hell, I was mayor here before there was a Dirt! 428 00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:46,622 And I may be just a sentimental old turtle 429 00:36:46,622 --> 00:36:53,714 but I think there's a future for this town. And I hope you'll be part of it. 430 00:36:53,714 --> 00:36:57,843 - To Dirt! - To Dirt. 431 00:36:59,344 --> 00:37:03,849 You see them, Mr Rango? All my friends and neighbours? 432 00:37:03,849 --> 00:37:08,145 It's a hard life here. Very hard. 433 00:37:08,145 --> 00:37:11,815 Do you know how they make it through each and every day? 434 00:37:11,815 --> 00:37:13,443 They believe. 435 00:37:13,443 --> 00:37:16,445 They believe it's going to be better. 436 00:37:16,445 --> 00:37:19,825 They believe that the water will come. 437 00:37:19,825 --> 00:37:22,536 They believe against all odds and all evidence 438 00:37:22,536 --> 00:37:26,832 that tomorrow will be better than today. 439 00:37:26,832 --> 00:37:30,127 People have to believe in something. 440 00:37:30,127 --> 00:37:35,216 Right now, they believe in you. 441 00:37:35,425 --> 00:37:41,639 Pick it up, Mr Rango. Your destiny awaits. 442 00:37:43,224 --> 00:37:48,856 People have to believe in something. 443 00:37:53,027 --> 00:37:55,321 It's almost noon. Is everything ready? 444 00:37:55,321 --> 00:37:58,240 Yeah. But he might be a problem. 445 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:04,747 He's not a problem, William. He's a solution. 446 00:38:05,039 --> 00:38:06,625 It just don't make no sense. 447 00:38:06,625 --> 00:38:08,126 This whole town is drying up, 448 00:38:08,126 --> 00:38:10,837 and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. 449 00:38:10,837 --> 00:38:12,923 Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? 450 00:38:12,923 --> 00:38:16,217 And what about that water I saw out in the desert? 451 00:38:16,217 --> 00:38:20,639 All right! No need to incite anxiety. I'll inquire about the Mayor. 452 00:38:20,639 --> 00:38:24,434 But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, 453 00:38:24,434 --> 00:38:28,856 I suggest you take it up with the new sheriff. 454 00:38:28,856 --> 00:38:31,943 This is going to be good. Hey! Watch that needle there. 455 00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:34,028 Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker! 456 00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:35,155 That's good. 457 00:38:35,155 --> 00:38:36,823 Oh, easy there, tiger. 458 00:38:36,823 --> 00:38:38,449 - A little up and back? - I don't think so. 459 00:38:38,449 --> 00:38:39,534 Have you got French cuffs with that? 460 00:38:39,534 --> 00:38:41,244 Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I want to talk to you. 461 00:38:41,244 --> 00:38:42,829 Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? 462 00:38:42,829 --> 00:38:44,956 I got a 10-gallon hat marked down from 15. 463 00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:46,625 - That's nice. - Have you met Angelique? 464 00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:48,543 - Hello, Beans. - Hello, Angelique. 465 00:38:48,543 --> 00:38:49,628 - Tart. - Floozy. 466 00:38:49,628 --> 00:38:51,922 - Trollop. - Excuse me, Mr Rango. 467 00:38:51,922 --> 00:38:53,841 I will blow that ugly right off your face! 468 00:38:53,841 --> 00:38:56,636 I was just thinking that... 469 00:38:56,636 --> 00:38:58,429 You want the old John Hancock, do you? 470 00:38:58,429 --> 00:39:00,640 - Well, here. Hold this. - Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call. 471 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,433 There's a bullet in there. 472 00:39:02,433 --> 00:39:04,060 I know about the shindig this afternoon. 473 00:39:04,060 --> 00:39:06,646 - I ordered myself some right fancy duds. - Sheriff, I'd like to file a... 474 00:39:06,646 --> 00:39:08,439 - Mr Rango! - Oh, you, too? No problem. 475 00:39:08,439 --> 00:39:10,234 - Here, let me just... - I need you to investigate... 476 00:39:10,234 --> 00:39:13,153 You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it. 477 00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:14,446 - What? - Now, remember, son, 478 00:39:14,446 --> 00:39:17,033 stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare. 479 00:39:17,033 --> 00:39:19,160 - Who's Shakespeare? - Sheriff Rango, 480 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,037 if that is your real name. 481 00:39:21,037 --> 00:39:23,247 I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, 482 00:39:23,247 --> 00:39:25,458 which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown 483 00:39:25,458 --> 00:39:30,630 while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop! 484 00:39:30,630 --> 00:39:34,635 Sad, really. Such a drab little thing. 485 00:39:34,635 --> 00:39:35,844 Why does she do that? 486 00:39:35,844 --> 00:39:39,222 - It's a survival reflex. - Her switch is just broken. 487 00:39:39,222 --> 00:39:40,724 Well, that's an inconvenience. 488 00:39:40,724 --> 00:39:45,062 It is not a rash! It is a birthmark! 489 00:39:45,062 --> 00:39:46,438 I did it again, didn't I? 490 00:39:46,438 --> 00:39:48,023 Did what? 491 00:39:48,023 --> 00:39:49,651 Let me ask you something. 492 00:39:49,651 --> 00:39:57,533 Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff? 493 00:40:33,155 --> 00:40:37,535 Pardon, but may I ask you... Excuse me, may I ask you... 494 00:40:37,535 --> 00:40:41,956 The last sheriff... Pardon me. Where is everybody going? 495 00:40:41,956 --> 00:40:47,045 What exactly happened to the... 496 00:40:49,256 --> 00:40:50,966 All day 497 00:40:50,966 --> 00:40:55,429 I've faced the barren waste 498 00:40:55,429 --> 00:41:00,059 Without the taste of water 499 00:41:03,228 --> 00:41:06,232 Cool water 500 00:41:09,652 --> 00:41:12,947 Old Dan and I 501 00:41:13,031 --> 00:41:15,534 With throats burned dry 502 00:41:15,534 --> 00:41:19,329 And souls that cry 503 00:41:19,830 --> 00:41:22,749 For water 504 00:41:25,544 --> 00:41:27,963 Cool 505 00:41:28,756 --> 00:41:30,257 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 506 00:41:30,257 --> 00:41:33,344 Clear water 507 00:41:40,768 --> 00:41:42,645 This is a heck of a hoedown you got going. 508 00:41:42,645 --> 00:41:44,439 Still working out those steps. 509 00:41:44,439 --> 00:41:48,443 So, is this considered normal civic behaviour? 510 00:41:48,443 --> 00:41:51,071 Every Wednesday, just like clockwork. 511 00:41:51,071 --> 00:41:52,865 You kill bird. 512 00:41:52,865 --> 00:41:55,867 Yeah. Matter of fact, I did. 513 00:41:55,867 --> 00:41:58,662 Bird dead. Snake come. 514 00:41:58,662 --> 00:41:59,664 Snake? 515 00:41:59,664 --> 00:42:01,666 He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango. 516 00:42:01,666 --> 00:42:03,960 He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that hawk. 517 00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,253 But he might come now. 518 00:42:05,253 --> 00:42:06,963 Can I have your boots when you're dead? 519 00:42:06,963 --> 00:42:08,173 No! 520 00:42:08,173 --> 00:42:10,634 And I ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake. 521 00:42:10,634 --> 00:42:12,552 That's just what Amos said. 522 00:42:12,552 --> 00:42:15,055 Amos? 523 00:42:17,849 --> 00:42:22,437 You got any gold fillings? 524 00:42:38,455 --> 00:42:41,041 My fellow Dirtonians. 525 00:42:41,041 --> 00:42:46,171 I welcome you to our great day of deliverance. Hallelujah. 526 00:42:46,171 --> 00:42:47,840 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 527 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:53,262 Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot! 528 00:43:01,938 --> 00:43:05,442 We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. 529 00:43:05,442 --> 00:43:08,236 A man I think needs little introduction to you 530 00:43:08,236 --> 00:43:12,450 so bold has been his entry into our fair society. 531 00:43:12,450 --> 00:43:17,746 Mr Rango, would you step forward? 532 00:43:21,542 --> 00:43:26,047 The time has come, my friends. The time that was foretold! 533 00:43:26,047 --> 00:43:27,757 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 534 00:43:27,757 --> 00:43:29,259 The sacred time! 535 00:43:29,259 --> 00:43:31,177 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 536 00:43:31,177 --> 00:43:33,638 The time of destiny! 537 00:43:33,638 --> 00:43:35,265 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 538 00:43:35,265 --> 00:43:37,851 The time of deliverance! 539 00:43:37,851 --> 00:43:38,977 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 540 00:43:38,977 --> 00:43:43,774 It is the time of hydration! 541 00:43:58,665 --> 00:44:01,167 - It's his fault! - It's the newcomer! 542 00:44:01,167 --> 00:44:02,962 - Burn him! - He's a witch! 543 00:44:02,962 --> 00:44:04,171 I get his boots! 544 00:44:04,171 --> 00:44:08,467 My friends, my friends! Temper your frustrations. 545 00:44:08,467 --> 00:44:13,681 Times will be tough from now on. Sacrifices will have to be made. 546 00:44:13,681 --> 00:44:17,351 But if I can help in any way, please know that my door is always... 547 00:44:17,351 --> 00:44:19,061 Hold it, hold it! 548 00:44:19,061 --> 00:44:21,981 Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. 549 00:44:21,981 --> 00:44:24,568 First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot? 550 00:44:24,568 --> 00:44:25,652 The bank's run dry? 551 00:44:25,652 --> 00:44:33,661 - What's she talking about? - She said there's no water in the bank! 552 00:44:33,661 --> 00:44:36,872 This is all we have! We can't give it all out! 553 00:44:36,872 --> 00:44:40,543 That was my rehydration account! 554 00:44:40,543 --> 00:44:47,174 None of that civil disobedience in my town, thank you very much. 555 00:44:47,174 --> 00:44:50,470 Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. Things were getting out of hand. 556 00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:52,472 Come right in. 557 00:44:52,472 --> 00:44:59,271 Let me have a gander at the source of the societal discontentment here. 558 00:44:59,271 --> 00:45:00,856 Mercy. 559 00:45:00,856 --> 00:45:03,651 All right, listen up! I've been thinking 560 00:45:03,651 --> 00:45:06,446 and I believe I've figured something out. 561 00:45:06,446 --> 00:45:10,950 You folks have a water problem! 562 00:45:10,950 --> 00:45:13,661 Nowjust pay attention, everybody. I'm trying to make a point here. 563 00:45:13,661 --> 00:45:16,581 Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. 564 00:45:16,581 --> 00:45:22,462 Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? 565 00:45:22,462 --> 00:45:24,048 And you! 566 00:45:24,048 --> 00:45:26,883 You're just as dried up and parched as a jackrabbit in July. 567 00:45:26,883 --> 00:45:31,179 So you belly on up and take you a double shot! 568 00:45:31,179 --> 00:45:33,849 Stay with me. 569 00:45:33,849 --> 00:45:38,479 What do you think happens then? Why we'd all be drinking! 570 00:45:38,479 --> 00:45:41,483 And before you know it, there wouldn't be any more water. 571 00:45:41,483 --> 00:45:44,861 And then where would we be? 572 00:45:44,861 --> 00:45:47,071 We'd be thirsty. 573 00:45:47,071 --> 00:45:49,282 Real thirsty. 574 00:45:49,282 --> 00:45:54,371 We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals! 575 00:45:54,371 --> 00:46:00,878 Now look here. We have got six days of water. 576 00:46:04,256 --> 00:46:08,387 We have got five days... 577 00:46:08,387 --> 00:46:13,266 As long as we've got water, we've got ourselves a town. 578 00:46:13,266 --> 00:46:15,268 Sheriff Rango is right. 579 00:46:15,268 --> 00:46:19,064 As long as we have this water, we have some hope. 580 00:46:19,064 --> 00:46:20,858 And you can all take it from me. 581 00:46:20,858 --> 00:46:24,486 My 100% full-time employment from this moment on 582 00:46:24,486 --> 00:46:28,449 will be to protect our precious natural resource. 583 00:46:28,449 --> 00:46:34,456 Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango. 584 00:46:45,259 --> 00:46:46,551 Evening, ladies. 585 00:46:46,551 --> 00:46:48,470 Evening, Sheriff. 586 00:46:48,470 --> 00:46:50,681 And don't you come back! 587 00:46:50,681 --> 00:46:54,268 Hold on there, Gordy. You get back in there and you assert yourself, 588 00:46:54,268 --> 00:46:57,688 and I think you'll find the people of this here town to be surprisingly hospitable. 589 00:46:57,688 --> 00:46:59,065 Thank you, Sheriff. 590 00:46:59,065 --> 00:47:02,360 What? Not you again! 591 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:06,155 I stand corrected. 592 00:47:10,285 --> 00:47:12,871 - This ain't the bank. - I told you, Jedidiah! 593 00:47:12,871 --> 00:47:14,290 Hold it right there! 594 00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:15,666 - Who's that? - It's the Sheriff! 595 00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,960 Get them hands up where I can see them! 596 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,171 Just as I suspected. 597 00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:23,674 Prospecting without the authorised equipment. Don't move a muscle. 598 00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:26,886 Prospecting? 599 00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:32,184 Now, you got your shovel, pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah, 600 00:47:32,184 --> 00:47:35,479 assorted snacks, some puzzle books and you're gonna need a permit. 601 00:47:35,479 --> 00:47:37,272 - Loofah. - Ezekiel, Jedidiah! 602 00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:39,691 What the Sam Hill's going on up there? 603 00:47:39,691 --> 00:47:43,654 I've had polyps removed smarter than the two of you! 604 00:47:43,654 --> 00:47:45,990 Hell's fire, this ain't the bank! 605 00:47:45,990 --> 00:47:49,661 Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here, helping us out. 606 00:47:49,661 --> 00:47:52,455 Gonna give us a permit for prospecting. 607 00:47:52,455 --> 00:47:55,876 That's right, sir. Just doing my duty. 608 00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,961 The lonely constable on his rounds, 609 00:47:57,961 --> 00:48:00,880 keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance. 610 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:04,385 Does he look like he sounds? 611 00:48:04,385 --> 00:48:08,263 Well, Sheriff, if we was to hit the mother lode, 612 00:48:08,263 --> 00:48:10,474 being prospectors and such, 613 00:48:10,474 --> 00:48:13,686 where would we deposit said annuity? 614 00:48:13,686 --> 00:48:15,688 Here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have 615 00:48:15,688 --> 00:48:20,277 the finest financial institution this side of the Missouri. 616 00:48:20,277 --> 00:48:24,656 Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. 617 00:48:24,656 --> 00:48:26,867 Much obliged. 618 00:48:26,867 --> 00:48:29,870 The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! 619 00:48:29,870 --> 00:48:32,372 Good Lord, the bank's been robbed! 620 00:48:32,372 --> 00:48:33,874 What's going on? 621 00:48:33,874 --> 00:48:36,168 - It's gone! The water's all gone! - What'd he say? 622 00:48:36,168 --> 00:48:38,378 He said the bank's been robbed! 623 00:48:38,378 --> 00:48:41,883 Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me! 624 00:48:41,883 --> 00:48:46,596 The bank's been robbed, the town is dry "We'll die of thirst," the people cry 625 00:48:46,596 --> 00:48:51,768 He promised to protect the vault The water's gone, it's all his fault 626 00:48:51,768 --> 00:48:53,770 All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. 627 00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:55,272 This is a crime scene now. 628 00:48:55,272 --> 00:48:58,483 Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibres, scan for DNA. 629 00:48:58,483 --> 00:49:01,278 I want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. 630 00:49:01,278 --> 00:49:02,696 And don't mix up the two. 631 00:49:02,696 --> 00:49:03,864 What's this? 632 00:49:03,864 --> 00:49:05,700 "Prospecting Permit." 633 00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:07,576 I'll take that. Material evidence. 634 00:49:07,576 --> 00:49:09,161 What are we gonna do now, Sheriff? 635 00:49:09,161 --> 00:49:11,998 - We need that water. - We're all going to die! 636 00:49:11,998 --> 00:49:15,668 My friends, we all know what we have to do now. 637 00:49:15,668 --> 00:49:19,590 That's right. We all know what we have to do now. 638 00:49:19,590 --> 00:49:21,675 - And that would be? - Form a posse. 639 00:49:21,675 --> 00:49:25,095 Form a possum! 640 00:49:25,763 --> 00:49:28,599 A posse. 641 00:49:28,683 --> 00:49:32,395 Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. 642 00:49:32,395 --> 00:49:39,778 First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind? 643 00:49:39,778 --> 00:49:41,488 All right, then. 644 00:49:41,488 --> 00:49:43,073 What do we do now, Sheriff? 645 00:49:43,073 --> 00:49:46,285 Now we ride! 646 00:49:58,798 --> 00:50:01,301 Where are we going? 647 00:50:01,301 --> 00:50:02,677 What? 648 00:50:02,677 --> 00:50:06,597 Where are we going? 649 00:50:11,770 --> 00:50:15,690 Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, 650 00:50:15,690 --> 00:50:18,694 utilising your well-developed Injun-uity, no offence taken. 651 00:50:18,694 --> 00:50:19,987 So which way do you think they went? 652 00:50:19,987 --> 00:50:26,285 You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something? 653 00:50:26,285 --> 00:50:29,873 Oh, you're good. 654 00:50:30,790 --> 00:50:32,584 I'm depending on you, Spoons. 655 00:50:32,584 --> 00:50:35,294 You got a little tobaccy in the beard there. 656 00:50:35,294 --> 00:50:38,382 Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. 657 00:50:38,382 --> 00:50:41,176 Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother? 658 00:50:41,176 --> 00:50:42,594 I'm an amphibian. 659 00:50:42,594 --> 00:50:46,890 Ain't no shame in that. 660 00:50:47,391 --> 00:50:51,687 You sure you're fit for duty there, soldier? 661 00:50:51,687 --> 00:50:54,274 Well, you got a little something in your eye there. 662 00:50:54,274 --> 00:50:59,070 Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary. 663 00:50:59,070 --> 00:51:02,699 Well, I'm glad to hear it's not contagious. 664 00:51:02,699 --> 00:51:07,079 Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute! A posse ain't no place for a... 665 00:51:07,079 --> 00:51:08,497 Never mind. 666 00:51:08,497 --> 00:51:10,582 Hold on there, little sister. 667 00:51:10,582 --> 00:51:15,087 Someone's gonna have to look after the town while I'm gone. 668 00:51:15,087 --> 00:51:17,882 Can I gut-shoot someone? 669 00:51:17,882 --> 00:51:20,468 Let's put a pin in that. 670 00:51:20,468 --> 00:51:24,305 Sheriff, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you? 671 00:51:24,305 --> 00:51:28,893 Count on it, little sister. 672 00:51:28,893 --> 00:51:32,188 - Which way do we go, Sheriff? - There's tunnels everywhere. 673 00:51:32,188 --> 00:51:33,774 Whole town's perforated with them. 674 00:51:33,774 --> 00:51:37,486 She got more holes in her than a painted lady on a porcupine. 675 00:51:37,486 --> 00:51:41,073 Hey, my daddy took me to her place. 676 00:51:41,073 --> 00:51:43,575 Not what I expected. 677 00:51:43,575 --> 00:51:46,579 How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway? 678 00:51:46,579 --> 00:51:48,873 Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here. 679 00:51:48,873 --> 00:51:52,794 Sheriff! Over here! 680 00:51:54,671 --> 00:51:57,799 - Would you look at that? - Like seeing the face of God. 681 00:51:57,799 --> 00:51:59,301 Amen, brother. 682 00:51:59,301 --> 00:52:02,304 I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday. 683 00:52:02,304 --> 00:52:04,390 Those were the halcyon days. 684 00:52:04,390 --> 00:52:06,892 Must be a reason she quit on us. 685 00:52:06,892 --> 00:52:10,604 Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water. 686 00:52:10,604 --> 00:52:13,399 What do you say, Sheriff? 687 00:52:13,399 --> 00:52:16,485 Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. 688 00:52:16,485 --> 00:52:18,988 I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin 689 00:52:18,988 --> 00:52:21,491 and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum. 690 00:52:21,491 --> 00:52:23,994 - What'd he say? - I think he said follow the pipe. 691 00:52:23,994 --> 00:52:30,876 - He said follow the pipe. - He said follow the pipe. 692 00:52:30,876 --> 00:52:32,878 Sure is humid down here. 693 00:52:32,878 --> 00:52:36,089 Yeah, it's activating my piles. 694 00:52:36,089 --> 00:52:37,884 I had a goitre removed once. 695 00:52:37,884 --> 00:52:41,095 Looked like Tony Bennett stepping out of the shower. 696 00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:46,309 Shoot, I put that on a tortilla. 697 00:52:55,194 --> 00:53:00,574 Whatever you do, do not look down. 698 00:53:02,076 --> 00:53:07,081 - What is this place? - It's an aquifer. 699 00:53:07,081 --> 00:53:08,583 What's an aquifer? 700 00:53:08,583 --> 00:53:11,586 Well, it's for aqua. 701 00:53:11,586 --> 00:53:15,715 Well, it's empty now. 702 00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,112 That's a big one. 703 00:53:36,988 --> 00:53:39,699 - It's the end of the line. - Don't go no further. 704 00:53:39,699 --> 00:53:43,579 Well, now that there is a pipe. It's got to be connected to something. 705 00:53:43,579 --> 00:53:46,289 You talk too much. Why don't you put a cork in it? 706 00:53:46,289 --> 00:53:48,708 Why don't you put a cork... Tell you where the sun don't shine. 707 00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:50,294 Your mama did. I'll cook her right up. 708 00:53:50,294 --> 00:53:52,004 You two just don't get it, do you? 709 00:53:52,004 --> 00:53:55,716 Someone or something is messing with our hydration 710 00:53:55,716 --> 00:53:57,801 and that pipe has got something to do with it. 711 00:53:57,801 --> 00:53:59,678 I thought we was following bank robbers! 712 00:53:59,678 --> 00:54:02,098 We're experiencing a paradigm shift. 713 00:54:02,098 --> 00:54:04,809 I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't shut up! 714 00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:07,896 Go ahead and try! 715 00:54:07,896 --> 00:54:13,109 Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling. You're affecting my cogitation. 716 00:54:13,109 --> 00:54:18,991 Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches. 717 00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:23,496 Sure enough. 718 00:54:23,496 --> 00:54:25,289 Smart thinking there, feller. 719 00:54:25,289 --> 00:54:28,083 - Start climbing. - Get your foot out of my face! 720 00:54:28,083 --> 00:54:29,711 Not bad, huh, Beans? 721 00:54:29,711 --> 00:54:32,297 You keep thinking like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire. 722 00:54:32,297 --> 00:54:35,508 Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... 723 00:54:35,508 --> 00:54:39,013 Hot, hot! Burn. 724 00:54:48,313 --> 00:54:51,693 Poor things. All they wanted was a little water. 725 00:54:51,693 --> 00:54:55,321 Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well. 726 00:54:55,321 --> 00:54:57,114 - Hey, look what I found! - What you got there? 727 00:54:57,114 --> 00:55:00,118 - I saw that first! - Hey, that's mine! 728 00:55:00,118 --> 00:55:01,703 Give me that! 729 00:55:01,703 --> 00:55:03,788 It's empty anyway. 730 00:55:03,788 --> 00:55:05,416 I knew that. 731 00:55:05,416 --> 00:55:06,708 Where'd you find that? 732 00:55:06,708 --> 00:55:12,881 Sheriff! You're going to want to see this! 733 00:55:13,299 --> 00:55:15,092 It's Mr Merrimack from the bank. 734 00:55:15,092 --> 00:55:16,510 What's he doing here? 735 00:55:16,510 --> 00:55:18,221 - Everybody stand back. - All right, let me see. 736 00:55:18,221 --> 00:55:20,807 Looks like them varmints shot him in the back. 737 00:55:20,807 --> 00:55:25,020 No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned! 738 00:55:25,020 --> 00:55:27,814 - Drowned? - In the middle of the desert? 739 00:55:27,814 --> 00:55:31,193 What a way to go. 740 00:55:31,193 --> 00:55:37,115 Well, now, whose boot prints are those? 741 00:55:38,784 --> 00:55:42,497 That's interesting. The ground's still wet. 742 00:55:42,497 --> 00:55:44,415 I suppose we should bury him. 743 00:55:44,415 --> 00:55:47,085 I don't know. Birds got to eat, too. 744 00:55:47,085 --> 00:55:48,503 Circle of life! 745 00:55:48,503 --> 00:55:49,587 Sheriff. 746 00:55:49,587 --> 00:55:52,507 Will you say a few words? 747 00:55:52,507 --> 00:55:55,594 Yeah. Yeah. 748 00:55:56,886 --> 00:55:58,304 Dearly beloved. 749 00:55:58,304 --> 00:56:03,685 We are gathered here today to honour this man. 750 00:56:03,685 --> 00:56:05,312 Mr Merrimack, 751 00:56:05,312 --> 00:56:07,105 you have the right to remain silent. 752 00:56:07,105 --> 00:56:09,316 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 753 00:56:09,316 --> 00:56:10,693 Amen. 754 00:56:10,693 --> 00:56:11,902 - Amen. - Amen. 755 00:56:11,902 --> 00:56:17,701 Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing? 756 00:56:18,701 --> 00:56:21,496 I see you're consulting with the spirits. 757 00:56:21,496 --> 00:56:26,293 No, I'm moulting. Means I'm ready to mate. 758 00:56:26,293 --> 00:56:28,504 I'll keep that in mind. 759 00:56:28,504 --> 00:56:29,713 Cactus fruit. 760 00:56:29,713 --> 00:56:32,591 Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. 761 00:56:32,591 --> 00:56:34,510 I believe your people use it as seasoning 762 00:56:34,510 --> 00:56:36,095 when preparing your native dishes. 763 00:56:36,095 --> 00:56:39,515 Also natural laxative. 764 00:56:39,515 --> 00:56:40,725 Pick up trail. 765 00:56:40,725 --> 00:56:45,814 Three men heading west. One blind, one with 766 00:56:45,814 --> 00:56:48,316 enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle. 767 00:56:48,316 --> 00:56:51,695 - What did he say? - They're riding sidesaddle. 768 00:56:51,695 --> 00:56:53,197 - We're whispering. - What'd he say? 769 00:56:53,197 --> 00:56:54,406 Someone's got a bad valve. 770 00:56:54,406 --> 00:56:58,327 All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up? 771 00:56:58,327 --> 00:57:00,788 Awkward. 772 00:57:00,788 --> 00:57:04,708 What exactly are we going to do now? 773 00:57:04,708 --> 00:57:07,921 Now we ride! 774 00:57:11,925 --> 00:57:18,014 That means we're riding now! This moment. 775 00:57:58,599 --> 00:58:01,102 Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. 776 00:58:01,102 --> 00:58:05,106 I could eat them all night long. 777 00:58:05,106 --> 00:58:10,028 Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast. 778 00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:13,198 This one time, I coughed up an entire Dalmatian. 779 00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:18,120 That ain't nothing. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. 780 00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,122 They started looking at me weird. 781 00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:23,501 I remember them. They was quite friendly. 782 00:58:23,501 --> 00:58:30,132 I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. 783 00:58:30,132 --> 00:58:34,096 You might want to get that looked at. 784 00:58:34,096 --> 00:58:36,098 Pass the beans, Beans. 785 00:58:36,098 --> 00:58:37,808 - Sheriff? - No, thanks. 786 00:58:37,808 --> 00:58:43,105 Mr Rango? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West? 787 00:58:43,105 --> 00:58:46,317 - Yeah, tell us about that. - Is it true what they say? 788 00:58:46,317 --> 00:58:50,028 Yes, the Spirit of the West! 789 00:58:50,028 --> 00:58:52,907 The eternally unattainable ideal. 790 00:58:52,907 --> 00:58:55,618 They say he rides in an alabaster carriage 791 00:58:55,618 --> 00:58:58,330 with golden guardians to protect him. 792 00:58:58,330 --> 00:59:01,917 But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest! 793 00:59:01,917 --> 00:59:03,710 And have made it 794 00:59:03,710 --> 00:59:07,506 to the other side. 795 00:59:10,008 --> 00:59:11,719 The other side of what? 796 00:59:11,719 --> 00:59:13,429 It's a metaphor. 797 00:59:13,429 --> 00:59:14,513 My eye! 798 00:59:14,513 --> 00:59:16,099 That's gonna heal right up. 799 00:59:16,099 --> 00:59:20,728 Sheriff? What are you going to do about Rattlesnake Jake? 800 00:59:20,728 --> 00:59:23,523 What? Where? 801 00:59:23,523 --> 00:59:28,528 Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice. 802 00:59:28,528 --> 00:59:29,904 Yeah. 803 00:59:29,904 --> 00:59:32,032 Jake. You mean my brother. 804 00:59:32,032 --> 00:59:34,701 - Your brother? - That's what I said! 805 00:59:34,701 --> 00:59:37,705 But he's a snake and you're a lizard. 806 00:59:37,705 --> 00:59:41,500 Well, Momma had an active social life. 807 00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:42,710 Did he ever bite you? 808 00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:46,339 Sure enough did. Look at that baby. Go ahead, you can touch it. 809 00:59:46,339 --> 00:59:50,301 That's interesting. That there's a belly button. 810 00:59:50,301 --> 00:59:51,928 Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. 811 00:59:51,928 --> 00:59:53,930 Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang. 812 00:59:53,930 --> 00:59:55,932 Is it true he's only scared of them hawks? 813 00:59:55,932 --> 01:00:01,313 Them's what we call his natural predator. 814 01:00:01,313 --> 01:00:04,609 All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge! 815 01:00:04,609 --> 01:00:06,736 I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir. 816 01:00:06,736 --> 01:00:09,905 Don't you all worry about a thing. Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water 817 01:00:09,905 --> 01:00:13,118 and return to a hero's welcome. 818 01:00:13,118 --> 01:00:15,704 Friends, before we bunk down 819 01:00:15,704 --> 01:00:18,206 I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, 820 01:00:18,206 --> 01:00:21,126 say a few words to the Spirit of the West. 821 01:00:21,126 --> 01:00:24,838 That's a good idea. 822 01:00:24,838 --> 01:00:28,217 Ain't always spoken rightly to you, Spirit of the West. 823 01:00:28,217 --> 01:00:34,724 But tonight I want to thank you for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. 824 01:00:34,724 --> 01:00:36,642 It's a hard life we got. 825 01:00:36,642 --> 01:00:40,020 Sometimes I don't know how we're gonna make it. 826 01:00:40,020 --> 01:00:44,442 But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. 827 01:00:44,442 --> 01:00:48,405 We needed a brave man and you sent us one. 828 01:00:48,405 --> 01:00:51,533 Nice to have someone to believe in again. 829 01:00:51,533 --> 01:00:56,121 Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. 830 01:00:56,121 --> 01:00:59,625 - Amen. - Amen. 831 01:01:29,907 --> 01:01:33,327 Just checking. 832 01:01:34,329 --> 01:01:39,542 - It's a little cold tonight. - Thank you. 833 01:01:39,542 --> 01:01:42,546 You ever feel like those things are looking at you? 834 01:01:42,546 --> 01:01:44,339 That's a Spanish dagger. 835 01:01:44,339 --> 01:01:47,217 But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus. 836 01:01:47,217 --> 01:01:48,426 Walking? 837 01:01:48,426 --> 01:01:52,432 There's an old legend they actually walk across the desert to find water. 838 01:01:52,432 --> 01:01:56,227 When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. 839 01:01:56,227 --> 01:02:00,440 I thought if I could follow them, they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. 840 01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,028 Someplace with enough water for everyone. 841 01:02:05,028 --> 01:02:10,408 Night after night, I watched them. I never saw them move. 842 01:02:10,408 --> 01:02:12,119 But you're still watching. 843 01:02:12,119 --> 01:02:15,414 Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful? 844 01:02:15,414 --> 01:02:21,712 We'll find the water, Beans. I promise you. 845 01:02:21,837 --> 01:02:25,049 That's such a lonely sound. 846 01:02:25,049 --> 01:02:27,135 You ever get lonely? 847 01:02:27,135 --> 01:02:28,636 Sometimes. 848 01:02:28,636 --> 01:02:33,642 I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. 849 01:02:33,642 --> 01:02:37,437 - I never made friends easy like that. - No? 850 01:02:37,437 --> 01:02:39,940 No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, 851 01:02:39,940 --> 01:02:42,735 sort of like being sealed up in a little box. 852 01:02:42,735 --> 01:02:46,322 Don't really see a lot of folks. 853 01:02:46,322 --> 01:02:49,325 I wouldn't know what that's like. 854 01:02:49,325 --> 01:02:52,411 There someone special in your life, Rango? 855 01:02:52,411 --> 01:02:55,415 There used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. 856 01:02:55,415 --> 01:02:57,542 Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. 857 01:02:57,542 --> 01:03:00,713 You know, it's an awful solitary existence out there on the prairie. 858 01:03:00,713 --> 01:03:04,717 Riding the ranges and the suchlike. 859 01:03:04,717 --> 01:03:07,345 Beans? 860 01:03:26,031 --> 01:03:30,118 I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna whup you like a red-headed stepchild! 861 01:03:30,118 --> 01:03:31,619 Choleric varmints, ain't they? 862 01:03:31,619 --> 01:03:35,624 Dysfunctional family. Need intervention. 863 01:03:35,624 --> 01:03:39,128 What's that coming? 864 01:03:39,128 --> 01:03:42,631 It's the water. 865 01:03:42,715 --> 01:03:46,636 I have a plan, and each and every one of you has a part to play. 866 01:03:46,636 --> 01:03:47,929 What do I do? 867 01:03:47,929 --> 01:03:50,014 Spoons, you got the most important job of all. 868 01:03:50,014 --> 01:03:52,142 You stay up here on the ridge, and if anything goes wrong, 869 01:03:52,142 --> 01:03:56,146 you give the signal. 870 01:04:06,032 --> 01:04:09,535 Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing? 871 01:04:09,535 --> 01:04:12,246 - He got it! - Hallelujah! 872 01:04:12,246 --> 01:04:14,040 - He found the water! - You did it, son. 873 01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:15,125 Well, actually... 874 01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:18,044 Why can't you be all brainy like your brother? 875 01:04:18,044 --> 01:04:20,547 Pappy, about that water. There's something I gots to tell you. 876 01:04:20,547 --> 01:04:24,843 Hush up, now. Somebody's coming. 877 01:04:24,843 --> 01:04:28,347 Good sirs, gracious good afternoon to thee and thee and thee. 878 01:04:28,347 --> 01:04:30,641 May I present Madame Lupone's 879 01:04:30,641 --> 01:04:34,937 Terpsichorean Troupe of Travelling Thespians! 880 01:04:34,937 --> 01:04:37,148 - What is that? - I think they's thespians. 881 01:04:37,148 --> 01:04:40,318 Thespians? That's illegal in seven states! 882 01:04:40,318 --> 01:04:44,238 The stage is set. The princess prepares to take her own life. 883 01:04:44,238 --> 01:04:46,824 I yearn for love. 884 01:04:46,824 --> 01:04:50,954 Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate. 885 01:04:50,954 --> 01:04:53,832 Stands watch at the castle gate... 886 01:04:53,832 --> 01:04:55,918 Hark! Who goes there? 887 01:04:55,918 --> 01:04:57,836 This plot is highly predictable. 888 01:04:57,836 --> 01:04:59,255 Quiet! This is my favourite part. 889 01:04:59,255 --> 01:05:05,553 Arriving to great fanfare 'twas her aged father, 890 01:05:05,553 --> 01:05:08,723 strucketh by Cupid. 891 01:05:08,723 --> 01:05:11,935 Prithee, unhand my fair daughter 892 01:05:11,935 --> 01:05:15,939 and reach for the... 893 01:05:16,148 --> 01:05:20,360 - Line? - "Reach for the sky!" 894 01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:21,945 What was that? 895 01:05:21,945 --> 01:05:24,031 Must be that immersive theatre. 896 01:05:24,031 --> 01:05:25,449 We got you surrounded! 897 01:05:25,449 --> 01:05:29,328 You and your entire family get your hands up where I can see them. 898 01:05:29,328 --> 01:05:33,040 My entire family? 899 01:05:36,461 --> 01:05:40,841 Grits and spit and collard greens 900 01:05:40,841 --> 01:05:45,346 Waffle chitlins, monkey brains 901 01:05:45,346 --> 01:05:49,225 Refried bones and booger blood 902 01:05:49,225 --> 01:05:54,147 Pickled eggs and flaps of mud 903 01:05:55,940 --> 01:05:58,151 It's a full house. 904 01:05:58,151 --> 01:06:02,363 Looks like we're gonna have ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. 905 01:06:02,363 --> 01:06:10,747 I'll have you know, you're not looking at our entire contingent. 906 01:06:12,958 --> 01:06:15,461 What's that supposed to be? 907 01:06:15,461 --> 01:06:16,962 That's the signal. 908 01:06:16,962 --> 01:06:23,928 That's the signal! Something must have gone wrong! 909 01:06:24,345 --> 01:06:28,433 So something's supposed to happen? 910 01:06:28,433 --> 01:06:32,938 I am open to suggestions. 911 01:06:39,862 --> 01:06:42,239 Run! 912 01:06:47,536 --> 01:06:51,249 Get on the wagon! 913 01:06:54,836 --> 01:06:58,548 Should we have ourselves some sport, chill'ens? 914 01:06:58,548 --> 01:07:00,551 I likes it when they run. 915 01:07:00,551 --> 01:07:05,138 Maybelle, give the holler! 916 01:07:10,144 --> 01:07:11,562 Looks like we made it! 917 01:07:11,562 --> 01:07:13,147 That audience was quite responsive. 918 01:07:13,147 --> 01:07:21,030 Yeah, well, I think that chromosome pool is about dried up. 919 01:07:43,262 --> 01:07:45,556 We got bats! 920 01:07:45,556 --> 01:07:49,143 Here! You drive. 921 01:07:55,359 --> 01:07:58,236 Looks like there's gonna be soup tonight! 922 01:07:58,236 --> 01:08:02,658 Come on, let's get some! 923 01:08:09,749 --> 01:08:13,044 What in tarnation? Don't shoot the water! 924 01:08:13,044 --> 01:08:16,631 Jedidiah! It's time for the Alabama squeeze box! 925 01:08:16,631 --> 01:08:19,551 Okay, Pa! 926 01:08:25,057 --> 01:08:27,059 I am sensing hostility. 927 01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:29,937 Incoming! 928 01:08:34,066 --> 01:08:35,359 Hello! 929 01:08:35,359 --> 01:08:38,154 Goodbye! 930 01:08:46,454 --> 01:08:50,167 Lasso that swine! 931 01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:11,147 I suggest we take evasive action! 932 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:13,149 I suggest you shut up and shoot! 933 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:15,861 - What happened to the Sheriff? - He had a previous engagement! 934 01:09:15,861 --> 01:09:21,367 Boseefus, give them some gumbo now! 935 01:09:25,162 --> 01:09:29,167 What was that? Go check it out! 936 01:09:29,167 --> 01:09:33,254 What is it? Is there a problem? 937 01:09:33,254 --> 01:09:37,550 You could call it that. 938 01:10:23,140 --> 01:10:26,060 Headache. 939 01:10:26,853 --> 01:10:30,857 Is that all you got? 940 01:10:46,958 --> 01:10:50,753 That wasn't altogether unpleasant! 941 01:10:50,753 --> 01:10:53,673 Eat lead! 942 01:11:02,474 --> 01:11:06,145 Here, hold these. 943 01:11:14,862 --> 01:11:19,075 Get your hands off me! 944 01:11:21,661 --> 01:11:25,081 Oh, I'm sorry. 945 01:11:31,964 --> 01:11:34,466 Jump! 946 01:11:55,947 --> 01:11:57,949 It's impossible. 947 01:11:57,949 --> 01:12:00,953 It can't be. It's empty. 948 01:12:00,953 --> 01:12:02,746 There's no water! 949 01:12:02,746 --> 01:12:06,251 No water? Then what the hell we been fighting for? 950 01:12:06,251 --> 01:12:10,547 Sir, you have defiled and desecrated the very sustenance of our livelihood! 951 01:12:10,547 --> 01:12:13,382 I think that there fella in the purty dress is the Sheriff. 952 01:12:13,382 --> 01:12:15,969 That's the same fellow what give us a prospecting permit? 953 01:12:15,969 --> 01:12:18,972 - A what? - Irrelevant! Obfuscation. 954 01:12:18,972 --> 01:12:21,058 You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery 955 01:12:21,058 --> 01:12:23,185 and the murder of our beloved financial advisor 956 01:12:23,185 --> 01:12:26,772 Johannes Merrimack the Third, AKA, Fluffy Joe. 957 01:12:26,772 --> 01:12:28,357 Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. 958 01:12:28,357 --> 01:12:30,859 We done tunnelled into that vault, but there weren't nothing in it. 959 01:12:30,859 --> 01:12:32,986 Somebody done robbed that bank before we robbed it. 960 01:12:32,986 --> 01:12:34,781 Then where'd you get this here jug? 961 01:12:34,781 --> 01:12:36,866 That's what I been trying to tell you, Pappy. 962 01:12:36,866 --> 01:12:38,159 I found it in the desert. 963 01:12:38,159 --> 01:12:41,455 Then why in tarnation did you bring it here? 964 01:12:41,455 --> 01:12:45,584 Hold on! You're saying this here jug was empty when you found it? 965 01:12:45,584 --> 01:12:46,877 That's right. 966 01:12:46,877 --> 01:12:48,254 I don't believe a word of it. 967 01:12:48,254 --> 01:12:49,964 - Let's hang them, Sheriff! - String them up! 968 01:12:49,964 --> 01:12:51,966 Who'd dump water in the desert? 969 01:12:51,966 --> 01:12:54,051 Wouldn't be the first time. 970 01:12:54,051 --> 01:12:56,971 It's a puzzle! It's like a big old mammogram! 971 01:12:56,971 --> 01:12:58,890 What's going on, Sheriff? 972 01:12:58,890 --> 01:13:00,349 I don't know. 973 01:13:00,349 --> 01:13:04,479 But I'm going to strip away this mystery and expose its private parts. 974 01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:10,068 You and your kin are coming with me. 975 01:13:11,278 --> 01:13:12,570 They're coming! 976 01:13:12,570 --> 01:13:15,490 Here they come! 977 01:13:15,490 --> 01:13:20,788 Looks like they got them robbers. 978 01:13:40,476 --> 01:13:44,271 Where's the water? 979 01:13:44,980 --> 01:13:49,277 There weren't no water. 980 01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,875 Where is he going? 981 01:14:03,875 --> 01:14:08,463 He's going to see the Mayor. 982 01:14:08,463 --> 01:14:10,465 He's got to be pleased with that. 983 01:14:10,465 --> 01:14:14,887 That's a good one, boss! 984 01:14:22,186 --> 01:14:23,354 That's interesting. 985 01:14:23,354 --> 01:14:26,357 I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango, 986 01:14:26,357 --> 01:14:29,694 but there's a certain protocol to this game, you understand. 987 01:14:29,694 --> 01:14:32,155 I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol. 988 01:14:32,155 --> 01:14:35,159 Well, that's good,'cause you got a few questions to answer 989 01:14:35,159 --> 01:14:40,081 and I've got my own protocol. 990 01:14:41,457 --> 01:14:44,460 But why would anyone dump water in the blooming desert? 991 01:14:44,460 --> 01:14:48,590 It does seem a bit naive, taking the word of admitted bank robbers. 992 01:14:48,590 --> 01:14:52,385 Besides, once they hang, yourjob is done. 993 01:14:52,385 --> 01:14:53,886 - Bravo! - Job well done. 994 01:14:53,886 --> 01:14:56,973 But what if somebody did rob the bank before they got there? 995 01:14:56,973 --> 01:14:59,184 And who would do that, Mr Rango? 996 01:14:59,184 --> 01:15:01,562 I was hoping you could tell me. 997 01:15:01,562 --> 01:15:04,565 That sounds marginally near to an accusation. 998 01:15:04,565 --> 01:15:09,070 Take it any way you like. 999 01:15:11,989 --> 01:15:15,660 Something you said keeps rattling around in my frontal lobe. 1000 01:15:15,660 --> 01:15:17,579 What's that? 1001 01:15:17,579 --> 01:15:21,875 "Control the water and you control everything." 1002 01:15:21,875 --> 01:15:24,086 Come now, Mr Rango. 1003 01:15:24,086 --> 01:15:27,088 You attribute divine power to me. 1004 01:15:27,088 --> 01:15:32,762 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1005 01:15:32,762 --> 01:15:35,973 You've obviously mastered this game. 1006 01:15:35,973 --> 01:15:39,394 Well, I've been playing it for many years, sir. 1007 01:15:39,394 --> 01:15:42,772 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1008 01:15:42,772 --> 01:15:45,483 I watched the march of progress, 1009 01:15:45,483 --> 01:15:48,487 and I learned a thing or two. 1010 01:15:48,487 --> 01:15:51,781 Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, 1011 01:15:51,781 --> 01:15:56,286 begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. 1012 01:15:56,286 --> 01:15:58,664 Look out there, son. 1013 01:15:58,664 --> 01:16:03,878 You can almost see time passing. 1014 01:16:04,378 --> 01:16:06,463 What are you building out here? 1015 01:16:06,463 --> 01:16:09,968 The future, Mr Rango, the future. 1016 01:16:09,968 --> 01:16:13,680 One day soon, all this is going to fade into myth, 1017 01:16:13,680 --> 01:16:16,683 the frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. 1018 01:16:16,683 --> 01:16:19,186 There's just no place for them any more. 1019 01:16:19,186 --> 01:16:23,274 - We're civilised now. - That's right, civilised. 1020 01:16:23,274 --> 01:16:24,983 That's what the future holds. 1021 01:16:24,983 --> 01:16:28,695 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1022 01:16:28,695 --> 01:16:32,699 Is that what happened to Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind? 1023 01:16:32,699 --> 01:16:37,663 Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget you're just one little lizard. 1024 01:16:37,663 --> 01:16:44,170 You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts. 1025 01:16:44,170 --> 01:16:47,382 Our new sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, 1026 01:16:47,382 --> 01:16:49,885 he's actually starting to believe it. 1027 01:16:49,885 --> 01:16:52,388 Call in Rattlesnake Jake. 1028 01:16:52,388 --> 01:16:55,182 But Jake's the Grim Reaper. 1029 01:16:55,182 --> 01:16:57,685 He never leaves without taking a blooming soul. 1030 01:16:57,685 --> 01:17:00,271 Do it! 1031 01:17:13,368 --> 01:17:21,376 Now be still. You gotta look presentable to meet your maker. 1032 01:17:23,378 --> 01:17:27,091 Death has arrived 1033 01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:35,767 How will the hero survive? 1034 01:17:39,396 --> 01:17:42,566 The Mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, 1035 01:17:42,566 --> 01:17:44,568 except for your ranch, Miss Beans. 1036 01:17:44,568 --> 01:17:48,572 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1037 01:17:48,572 --> 01:17:51,367 Unless he controls the water. 1038 01:17:51,367 --> 01:17:53,369 Like a monkey's bladder! 1039 01:17:53,369 --> 01:17:55,872 Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land. 1040 01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:59,167 But how does he control the water? 1041 01:17:59,167 --> 01:18:02,379 Well, you gotta spend some time and train them. 1042 01:18:02,379 --> 01:18:05,799 'Cause you know monkeys, when they do go, you rub their nose in it. 1043 01:18:05,799 --> 01:18:10,387 Sheriff, we got a problem. 1044 01:18:14,475 --> 01:18:20,482 Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary. 1045 01:18:21,399 --> 01:18:24,778 - Hang him till his head turns blue! - Give us them robbers! 1046 01:18:24,778 --> 01:18:27,280 Hold on! Calm down, everyone! Let me talk! 1047 01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:29,699 - Nail them to the courthouse! - Now, calm down, everybody. 1048 01:18:29,699 --> 01:18:32,995 Get them out here so we can cut off their giblets! 1049 01:18:32,995 --> 01:18:34,579 You, too, Spoons? 1050 01:18:34,579 --> 01:18:38,084 They done taken that water. They taken everything we got! 1051 01:18:38,084 --> 01:18:41,170 No one's stringing anyone up. Not while I'm sheriff. 1052 01:18:41,170 --> 01:18:42,505 But this is all his fault! 1053 01:18:42,505 --> 01:18:45,007 You said you's gonna bring the water back. 1054 01:18:45,007 --> 01:18:47,593 It's just, we got no hope without that water. 1055 01:18:47,593 --> 01:18:50,179 We got nothing left to believe in. 1056 01:18:50,179 --> 01:18:52,474 You see that sign up there? 1057 01:18:52,474 --> 01:18:54,809 As long as that sign says "Sheriff," 1058 01:18:54,809 --> 01:18:57,312 you can believe that there's law and order in this town. 1059 01:18:57,312 --> 01:19:01,400 But without law and order, ruminate on that. Oh, yeah. 1060 01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:04,694 Starts out slow, like a fungus. 1061 01:19:04,694 --> 01:19:07,489 Somebody says a cross word. Accusations start flying. 1062 01:19:07,489 --> 01:19:10,409 Neighbour turns on neighbour. Pretty soon, we're eating our children! 1063 01:19:10,409 --> 01:19:11,911 And then dogs and cats are getting together 1064 01:19:11,911 --> 01:19:15,581 to create all sorts of unnatural mutant aberrations! 1065 01:19:15,581 --> 01:19:19,586 So, you want something to believe in, Spoons? 1066 01:19:19,586 --> 01:19:22,380 Believe in me. 1067 01:19:22,380 --> 01:19:25,384 Believe in that there sign. 1068 01:19:25,384 --> 01:19:31,682 For as long as it hangs there, we got hope. 1069 01:19:54,206 --> 01:19:57,001 Hello, brother. 1070 01:19:57,001 --> 01:19:59,795 Thirsty? 1071 01:20:09,597 --> 01:20:14,603 Long time, brother. How you been keeping? 1072 01:20:14,603 --> 01:20:18,315 Well, you know... 1073 01:20:18,690 --> 01:20:23,112 I hear you been telling about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. 1074 01:20:23,112 --> 01:20:25,907 With one bullet, wasn't it? 1075 01:20:25,907 --> 01:20:27,909 Isn't that right? 1076 01:20:27,909 --> 01:20:32,288 All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? 1077 01:20:32,288 --> 01:20:36,084 Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? 1078 01:20:36,084 --> 01:20:39,504 Seems these folks trust you. 1079 01:20:39,504 --> 01:20:42,591 They think you're gonna save their little town. 1080 01:20:42,591 --> 01:20:49,390 They think you're gonna save their little souls! 1081 01:20:50,182 --> 01:20:55,104 But we know better, don't we? 1082 01:20:59,316 --> 01:21:02,988 So why don't you show your friends here what you're made of? 1083 01:21:02,988 --> 01:21:05,990 Show them who you really are. 1084 01:21:05,990 --> 01:21:09,119 Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? 1085 01:21:09,119 --> 01:21:12,081 But, of course, you won't need all these. 1086 01:21:12,081 --> 01:21:15,709 Just one, right? 1087 01:21:16,293 --> 01:21:21,590 Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger. 1088 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:27,514 You got killer in your eyes, son? 1089 01:21:27,514 --> 01:21:31,017 I don't see it. 1090 01:21:31,810 --> 01:21:35,313 You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? 1091 01:21:35,313 --> 01:21:39,401 You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers. You ain't even from the West! 1092 01:21:39,401 --> 01:21:41,319 Are you? 1093 01:21:41,319 --> 01:21:43,989 - Say it! - No. 1094 01:21:43,989 --> 01:21:49,787 Speak up. I don't think your friends here heard you. 1095 01:21:49,787 --> 01:21:50,997 No. 1096 01:21:50,997 --> 01:21:53,583 All you've done is lie to these good people. 1097 01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:58,004 You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Isn't that right? 1098 01:21:58,004 --> 01:21:59,297 Yes. 1099 01:21:59,297 --> 01:22:02,884 - Louder! - Yes. 1100 01:22:05,512 --> 01:22:08,807 Listen close, you pathetic fraud. 1101 01:22:08,807 --> 01:22:11,893 This is my town now. 1102 01:22:11,893 --> 01:22:20,820 If I ever see you again, I will take your soul straight down to hell! 1103 01:22:33,209 --> 01:22:36,420 Who are you? 1104 01:24:31,501 --> 01:24:34,421 Who am I? 1105 01:24:35,213 --> 01:24:38,300 I'm nobody. 1106 01:26:31,128 --> 01:26:34,840 Golden guardians. 1107 01:26:35,007 --> 01:26:39,303 The alabaster carriage. 1108 01:26:41,639 --> 01:26:45,935 The Spirit of the West. 1109 01:26:48,605 --> 01:26:53,610 Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir? 1110 01:26:55,028 --> 01:27:01,619 There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to dig deep to find what you're looking for. 1111 01:27:01,619 --> 01:27:04,038 So you made it. 1112 01:27:04,038 --> 01:27:05,331 Is this heaven? 1113 01:27:05,331 --> 01:27:09,418 If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak. 1114 01:27:09,418 --> 01:27:10,836 Yeah. 1115 01:27:10,836 --> 01:27:14,340 No kidding. What are you doing out here? 1116 01:27:14,340 --> 01:27:17,344 Searching, same as you. 1117 01:27:17,344 --> 01:27:20,639 I don't even know what I'm looking for any more. 1118 01:27:20,639 --> 01:27:23,225 I don't even know who I am. 1119 01:27:23,225 --> 01:27:27,020 They used to call you the Man with No Name. 1120 01:27:27,020 --> 01:27:31,024 These days they got a name forjust about everything. 1121 01:27:31,024 --> 01:27:35,404 Doesn't matter what they call you. It's the deeds make the man. 1122 01:27:35,404 --> 01:27:39,326 Yeah, but my deeds just made things worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney! 1123 01:27:39,326 --> 01:27:43,330 My friends believed in me, but they need some kind of hero. 1124 01:27:43,330 --> 01:27:45,123 Then be a hero. 1125 01:27:45,123 --> 01:27:49,127 No. No, no, you don't understand. I'm not even supposed to be here. 1126 01:27:49,127 --> 01:27:54,425 That's right. You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. 1127 01:27:54,425 --> 01:27:58,137 Don't you see? It's not about you. 1128 01:27:58,137 --> 01:28:01,724 It's about them. 1129 01:28:02,642 --> 01:28:04,143 But I can't go back. 1130 01:28:04,143 --> 01:28:09,941 Don't know that you got a choice, son. 1131 01:28:10,316 --> 01:28:16,031 No man can walk out on his own story. 1132 01:28:25,624 --> 01:28:28,711 So you made it. 1133 01:28:28,711 --> 01:28:35,009 That's right, amigo. The other side of the road. 1134 01:28:35,009 --> 01:28:37,721 Did you just see that? 1135 01:28:37,721 --> 01:28:41,641 We each see what we need to see. 1136 01:28:41,641 --> 01:28:45,645 Beautiful, isn't it? 1137 01:28:55,615 --> 01:28:57,825 Yeah. 1138 01:28:57,825 --> 01:28:59,827 It is. 1139 01:28:59,827 --> 01:29:06,418 Come, my friend. I want to show you something. 1140 01:29:06,626 --> 01:29:12,048 Many years ago, this entire valley was covered in agua. 1141 01:29:12,048 --> 01:29:17,012 Now only one question remains. 1142 01:29:17,221 --> 01:29:20,849 Where did it go? 1143 01:29:53,718 --> 01:29:55,845 They follow the water. 1144 01:29:55,845 --> 01:30:00,934 They follow the water! Come on! 1145 01:30:33,844 --> 01:30:39,225 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1146 01:30:39,225 --> 01:30:41,227 What are you building out here? 1147 01:30:41,227 --> 01:30:43,229 The future, Mr Rango. 1148 01:30:43,229 --> 01:30:50,237 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1149 01:30:50,237 --> 01:30:56,243 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1150 01:30:56,243 --> 01:30:58,954 I watched the march of progress 1151 01:30:58,954 --> 01:31:03,835 and I learned a thing or two. 1152 01:31:06,420 --> 01:31:08,756 Control the water 1153 01:31:08,756 --> 01:31:13,427 and you control everything. 1154 01:31:17,932 --> 01:31:20,352 Come now, Mr Rango. 1155 01:31:20,352 --> 01:31:22,229 You attribute divine power to me. 1156 01:31:22,229 --> 01:31:29,027 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1157 01:32:01,729 --> 01:32:05,358 What now, amigo? 1158 01:32:11,323 --> 01:32:16,036 No man can walk out on his own story. 1159 01:32:16,036 --> 01:32:18,831 I'm going back. 1160 01:32:18,831 --> 01:32:21,333 But why? 1161 01:32:21,333 --> 01:32:25,754 Because that's who I am. 1162 01:32:35,557 --> 01:32:41,229 You got a lot of nerve showing up here, lawman. What is it you want? 1163 01:32:41,229 --> 01:32:46,360 Your pappy and them boys are about to hang for something they didn't do. 1164 01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:50,364 But I've got a plan. 1165 01:33:16,059 --> 01:33:19,061 I appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans. 1166 01:33:19,061 --> 01:33:22,148 But you're making a practical decision. 1167 01:33:22,148 --> 01:33:24,942 Decisions, decisions. 1168 01:33:24,942 --> 01:33:30,866 There's no need for any more suffering. 1169 01:33:34,661 --> 01:33:38,665 Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. 1170 01:33:38,665 --> 01:33:45,464 Sign the deed and relieve yourself of your father's burden. 1171 01:33:45,464 --> 01:33:48,468 My daddy was not a burden! 1172 01:33:48,468 --> 01:33:54,849 Keep your blood money and I'll keep my land! 1173 01:33:56,935 --> 01:34:00,230 Do what he says or, by all the fires of the black pit, 1174 01:34:00,230 --> 01:34:04,360 I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes out of your skull! 1175 01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:06,654 Now, hold on, Jake. There's no need to... 1176 01:34:06,654 --> 01:34:09,156 Let me do my job! You brought me in. 1177 01:34:09,156 --> 01:34:12,451 Now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! 1178 01:34:12,451 --> 01:34:15,163 Sign the damn paper, woman! 1179 01:34:15,163 --> 01:34:17,165 Go to hell! 1180 01:34:17,165 --> 01:34:20,042 Where do you think I come from? 1181 01:34:20,042 --> 01:34:22,462 Look into my eyes. 1182 01:34:22,462 --> 01:34:26,633 I want to see you die. 1183 01:34:29,970 --> 01:34:32,431 Jake! 1184 01:34:34,558 --> 01:34:38,562 I'm calling you out! 1185 01:34:38,855 --> 01:34:40,648 Jake! 1186 01:34:40,648 --> 01:34:47,071 This day just got a little more interesting. 1187 01:35:12,265 --> 01:35:13,558 Put her down. 1188 01:35:13,558 --> 01:35:17,270 Or what, little man? You going to kill me? 1189 01:35:17,270 --> 01:35:21,858 That's just about the size of it. 1190 01:35:21,858 --> 01:35:24,570 - Get your filthy paws off me! - Shut your gob! 1191 01:35:24,570 --> 01:35:30,034 All right, Sheriff, make your move. 1192 01:37:00,046 --> 01:37:03,258 Nown amigos! 1193 01:37:06,053 --> 01:37:11,142 - Heave! Heave! - Heave! Heave! 1194 01:37:26,658 --> 01:37:30,662 That was a bad idea. 1195 01:37:33,374 --> 01:37:37,044 Thirsty, brother? 1196 01:37:38,044 --> 01:37:41,465 Here it comes! 1197 01:37:42,049 --> 01:37:44,760 No. No! 1198 01:37:47,471 --> 01:37:48,848 It's a miracle! 1199 01:37:48,848 --> 01:37:51,768 Look out! 1200 01:37:57,357 --> 01:38:00,944 - Lookee there! - What is that? 1201 01:38:00,944 --> 01:38:02,445 It's our salvation, Pa! 1202 01:38:02,445 --> 01:38:08,661 It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out! 1203 01:38:15,751 --> 01:38:19,964 I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts'll be leaking lead! 1204 01:38:19,964 --> 01:38:27,055 Well, then it's a good thing I brought some backup. 1205 01:38:33,979 --> 01:38:36,482 What? 1206 01:38:38,860 --> 01:38:40,778 Ain't no hawk. 1207 01:38:40,778 --> 01:38:45,074 Ain't nothing but bats! 1208 01:38:45,450 --> 01:38:52,666 Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed that devil dry! 1209 01:39:01,050 --> 01:39:03,386 It only takes one bullet. 1210 01:39:03,386 --> 01:39:06,681 You ain't got the nerve. 1211 01:39:06,681 --> 01:39:09,350 Try me. 1212 01:39:12,479 --> 01:39:14,772 Oh, Mr Rango. 1213 01:39:14,772 --> 01:39:19,986 Aren't you forgetting something? 1214 01:39:21,655 --> 01:39:26,285 Hand me your gun, Sheriff. 1215 01:39:26,577 --> 01:39:29,956 Now, Mr Rango. 1216 01:39:40,467 --> 01:39:43,678 Beans! Hold on. Don't worry, I got a plan. 1217 01:39:43,678 --> 01:39:45,972 Help! 1218 01:39:45,972 --> 01:39:48,851 Open the door! 1219 01:39:48,851 --> 01:39:51,562 Okay, plan B. 1220 01:39:51,562 --> 01:39:53,272 Beans, you're mumbling. 1221 01:39:53,272 --> 01:39:58,069 All my problems taken care of except for one. 1222 01:39:58,069 --> 01:39:59,278 It's a new West, Jake. 1223 01:39:59,278 --> 01:40:03,783 There's no room for gunslingers any more. We're businessmen now. 1224 01:40:03,783 --> 01:40:05,576 Yeah, we got new hats. 1225 01:40:05,576 --> 01:40:10,582 Where I come from, we call this improvisation. 1226 01:40:10,582 --> 01:40:13,961 You came back. 1227 01:40:20,593 --> 01:40:21,886 What was that? 1228 01:40:21,886 --> 01:40:24,555 No need to panic, but I think you just swallowed plan B. 1229 01:40:24,555 --> 01:40:27,058 What? 1230 01:40:27,267 --> 01:40:28,893 Okay, panic time. 1231 01:40:28,893 --> 01:40:31,979 You and the Sheriff are more alike than you think. 1232 01:40:31,979 --> 01:40:33,857 You're nothing but legends. 1233 01:40:33,857 --> 01:40:40,864 Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. 1234 01:40:40,864 --> 01:40:45,786 One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. 1235 01:40:45,786 --> 01:40:48,956 How fitting. 1236 01:41:21,783 --> 01:41:24,077 Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together, 1237 01:41:24,077 --> 01:41:28,290 we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation. 1238 01:41:28,290 --> 01:41:33,378 You better take it up with him. 1239 01:41:41,763 --> 01:41:44,890 One bullet. 1240 01:41:44,974 --> 01:41:47,477 I tip my hat to you, 1241 01:41:47,477 --> 01:41:51,689 one legend to another. 1242 01:41:52,190 --> 01:41:54,484 What was that you said? 1243 01:41:54,484 --> 01:41:59,281 "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." 1244 01:41:59,281 --> 01:42:02,576 No, Jake! No! 1245 01:42:13,796 --> 01:42:16,382 Rango! 1246 01:42:16,675 --> 01:42:20,470 You brought the water back, just like you promised. 1247 01:42:20,470 --> 01:42:23,473 You really are a hero. 1248 01:42:23,473 --> 01:42:26,685 Well, the thing about heroes is, whenever you... 1249 01:42:26,685 --> 01:42:28,687 Don't spoil it. 1250 01:42:28,687 --> 01:42:30,398 Right. 1251 01:42:30,398 --> 01:42:37,196 Well, I don't know about you all, but I could sure go for a dip. 1252 01:42:37,196 --> 01:42:40,199 And so the lizard completes his journey 1253 01:42:40,199 --> 01:42:44,287 from humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. 1254 01:42:44,287 --> 01:42:49,084 And although he is certain to die, perhaps from a household accident, 1255 01:42:49,084 --> 01:42:52,171 which account for 65% of all unnatural deaths, 1256 01:42:52,171 --> 01:42:55,883 the people of the village will honour his memory 1257 01:42:55,883 --> 01:43:01,388 even as they abandon their dignity. 1258 01:43:06,602 --> 01:43:09,063 - I'm going in. - How about a cold one, there? 1259 01:43:09,063 --> 01:43:11,191 Water ain't money. Money is money. 1260 01:43:11,191 --> 01:43:14,403 - Well, I ain't got no... - We're talking hard cash. 1261 01:43:14,403 --> 01:43:15,695 We have a problem. 1262 01:43:15,695 --> 01:43:18,490 Who let Snuggles in the pool again? 1263 01:43:18,490 --> 01:43:21,077 I really think you complete me. 1264 01:43:21,077 --> 01:43:23,371 Prithee, unhand my fair maiden. 1265 01:43:23,371 --> 01:43:26,498 - Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five. - How can you keep missing your mark? 1266 01:43:26,498 --> 01:43:29,377 What's my motivation? 1267 01:43:29,377 --> 01:43:31,087 Oh, you kids. 1268 01:43:31,087 --> 01:43:32,964 What did you do that for? 1269 01:43:32,964 --> 01:43:35,592 I was just checking. I hear if you get too sunburnt, 1270 01:43:35,592 --> 01:43:37,385 you can peel a man's face right off. 1271 01:43:37,385 --> 01:43:39,095 - What is it? - That there's some human spleen. 1272 01:43:39,095 --> 01:43:40,180 Don't touch it. 1273 01:43:40,180 --> 01:43:41,890 That's the second time that's happened to me. 1274 01:43:41,890 --> 01:43:43,600 This water thing's great. 1275 01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:45,185 I'm urinating right now. 1276 01:43:45,185 --> 01:43:48,397 Adult swim, next five minutes. 1277 01:43:48,397 --> 01:43:50,774 Stay between the buoys. 1278 01:43:50,774 --> 01:43:52,276 I packed your lunch. Danish is in there 1279 01:43:52,276 --> 01:43:54,070 and I picked the raisins out just the way you like it. 1280 01:43:54,070 --> 01:43:56,197 Don't forget, your nasal spray is in your saddle-bag... 1281 01:43:56,197 --> 01:43:57,865 - Beans! ... and your moisturising lotion... 1282 01:43:57,865 --> 01:44:00,285 - Now, Beans! We've talked about this. - Lotion? 1283 01:44:00,285 --> 01:44:03,079 That's for my gun. That's gun lotion. 1284 01:44:03,079 --> 01:44:04,790 Sheriff, where are you headed? 1285 01:44:04,790 --> 01:44:07,792 There's trouble down a dry creek. Bad Bill's been acting up again. 1286 01:44:07,792 --> 01:44:09,794 Now, honey, you come back with all your digits. 1287 01:44:09,794 --> 01:44:11,171 And don't go trying to be a hero. 1288 01:44:11,171 --> 01:44:12,798 Beans, you are missing the point. 1289 01:44:12,798 --> 01:44:16,177 I got an image to protect now. 1290 01:44:16,177 --> 01:44:19,096 Where's my Tic Tacs? 1291 01:44:19,096 --> 01:44:21,098 - I found them. - What's going on? 1292 01:44:21,098 --> 01:44:24,102 Well, in order to satisfy the needs of the collective, 1293 01:44:24,102 --> 01:44:25,978 the hero must abandon the self 1294 01:44:25,978 --> 01:44:30,775 and solidify his image as an icon that will forever be remembered. 1295 01:44:30,775 --> 01:44:35,572 So, this is the sunset shot. 1296 01:44:41,578 --> 01:44:46,375 Give them a good one, amigo. 1297 01:44:53,091 --> 01:44:55,009 Ready, Excelsior? 1298 01:44:55,009 --> 01:44:56,970 My fellow comrades. 1299 01:44:56,970 --> 01:44:59,806 There will be times when you doubt yourself. 1300 01:44:59,806 --> 01:45:03,393 When you feel pummelled by the cataclysms of life, 1301 01:45:03,393 --> 01:45:07,481 remember this moment. Remember me. 1302 01:45:07,481 --> 01:45:10,484 Know that I will be there watching you, 1303 01:45:10,484 --> 01:45:13,570 sometimes at inappropriate moments. 1304 01:45:13,570 --> 01:45:16,073 That's part of the deal. 1305 01:45:16,073 --> 01:45:19,786 And remember, within all of us resides 1306 01:45:19,786 --> 01:45:24,291 the true Spirit of the... 1307 01:45:25,500 --> 01:45:30,172 Let's take it from the top.