1
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,446
¶ ¶

2
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,426
(shouting in Arabic)

3
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,394
(gunfire)
(both yell)

4
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,070
(people screaming)

5
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,638
(men shouting)

6
00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:19,778
(gunfire, men shouting)

7
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,827
(gunfire, shouting continue)

8
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,698
MAN (over radio):
This is Zero One Alpha.

9
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,700
We have secured Falcon.

10
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,869
I say again, we have
secured Falcon.

11
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,237
(guns cocking)

12
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,357
MAN 2 (over radio):
Grenade! Sir, get back!

13
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,892
(shouting)

14
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:07,934
(explosion thunders)

15
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,306
Shit.

16
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,308
Fucking missed it.

17
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,311
How did I fucking miss it?

18
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,880
Merlin...

19
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:31,316
I apologize for putting you
in this position.

20
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,418
You trained him well.

21
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,888
James...

22
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:38,891
training is over.

23
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,462
Welcome to Kingsman...

24
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,930
Lancelot.

25
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,331
Sir.

26
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,403
I'll deal with this mess...

27
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,306
personally.

28
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,346
<i>I very much regret
that your husband's bravery</i>

29
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,847
<i>can't be publicly celebrated.</i>

30
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,248
I hope you understand.

31
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,750
WOMAN:
How can I understand?

32
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,252
He won't tell me anything.

33
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,755
I-I didn't even know he
wasn't with his squad.

34
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,823
I'm so sorry,
I can't say more.

35
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:16,461
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor.

36
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,898
And if you look closely
on the back, there's a number.

37
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,901
And as a more concrete
gesture of our gratitude,

38
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,470
we'd like to offer you, um...

39
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,472
Let's call it a favor.

40
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,609
The nature of it is your choice.
Just tell the operator,

41
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,446
"Oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.

42
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,617
I don't want your help.

43
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,820
(sobbing):
I want my husband back.

44
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,391
(man sighs)

45
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,995
What's your name,
young man?

46
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,530
Eggsy.

47
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,898
Hello, Eggsy.

48
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,702
Can I see that?

49
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,343
You take care of this, Eggsy.

50
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,012
All right?

51
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,917
And take care of your mum, too.

52
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,671
¶ ¶

53
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,526
So sorry,
Professor Arnold.

54
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,561
Just a tiny bit more.

55
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,298
Oh, for God's sakes,
just rip it off.

56
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,933
I'm under very
strict instructions

57
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,035
not to hurt you.

58
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,936
Look, you've made a mistake.

59
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,938
I'm a university lecturer.

60
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,040
I've got no money.

61
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,975
This isn't about money.

62
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,077
Our boss just wants
to talk to you.

63
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,346
Am I meant
to find that reassuring?

64
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,581
He'll be here soon.
He'll explain.

65
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,917
Do you like whiskey?

66
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,754
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.

67
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,889
Mm.

68
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,724
Honestly,
this whiskey,

69
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,059
it's amazing.

70
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,493
You will shit.

71
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,495
(rhythmic knocking)

72
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,435
¶ ¶

73
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:51,850
I suppose asking to borrow a cup
of sugar is a step too far.

74
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,389
(silenced gunshots)

75
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,093
(grunts)

76
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,095
(yells)

77
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,641
Professor Arnold...

78
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,477
I'm here to take you home.

79
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:22,067
(door closes in distance,
footsteps approach)

80
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,978
(body thuds, tray clatters)

81
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:28,920
Hmm.

82
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,456
1962 Dalmore.

83
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,692
It'd be a sin
to spill any.

84
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,061
Don't you think?

85
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,863
(rhythmic tapping on glass)

86
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,676
¶ ¶

87
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,527
(clinking footsteps)

88
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,637
Can you hold these? Please?

89
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,819
Thank you.

90
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,494
Everything is clean.

91
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,531
(laughs)

92
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,602
My kind of welcome.

93
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,172
Mmm!

94
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,640
(exhales)

95
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,612
(speaking with lisp):
No stomach for violence.

96
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,781
I mean, literally.
I see one drop of blood,

97
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,783
that is me done.

98
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,785
I'm like... (retches)
projectile.

99
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:10,021
Listen, I'm so sorry

100
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,991
you had to witness all
this unpleasantness,

101
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,527
due to our uninvited guest.

102
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,963
But I promise you, by
the time I've found out

103
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,965
who he works for,

104
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:24,536
<i>you and I will be
the best of friends.</i>

105
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,978
To the shop, please.

106
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,235
Arthur's in
the dining room, sir.

107
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,847
Arthur.

108
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,115
Galahad.

109
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,217
The others were
beginning to wonder

110
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,220
if we were going to have
a double toast.

111
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,658
ARTHUR:
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say

112
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,027
it's been 17 years
since we last

113
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,563
had occasion to use
this decanter.

114
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,164
Lancelot...

115
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,100
was an outstanding agent
and a true Kingsman.

116
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,236
He will be sorely missed.

117
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,939
To Lancelot.

118
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,141
OTHERS:
To Lancelot.

119
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,913
ARTHUR:
I intend to start
the selection process

120
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,016
for Lancelot's replacement
tomorrow.

121
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,885
I want each of you

122
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:50,722
to propose a candidate
and have them report to UKHQ

123
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,991
no later than 9:00 p.m. GMT.

124
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,326
Thank you.

125
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,862
ARTHUR:
Merlin.

126
00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:00,599
Come in.

127
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,735
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries

128
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,638
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.

129
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,800
Glasses, gentlemen, please.

130
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,077
Uganda, 2012.

131
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,245
Synthetic cathinones.

132
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,047
They put it in
the water supply

133
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,016
of a guerilla
army base... rage,

134
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,852
cannibalism,
multiple fatalities.

135
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,122
Chechnya, 2013.

136
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,991
Insurgents turned
on one another.

137
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,659
Indisputably, the work
of our mercenaries,

138
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:30,028
but no trace
of any chemicals of any kind.

139
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,196
So what happened to Lancelot?

140
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,665
He tracked them
to this property

141
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,233
in Argentina.

142
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,901
While he had them
under surveillance,

143
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,803
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.

144
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,339
So he executed a solo
rescue mission,

145
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,009
which failed.

146
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,244
This is his last transmission.

147
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,715
Who is he?
Some climate-change
doomsayer,

148
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,250
expounds something
called Gaia theory

149
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,252
about the world healing itself
or some such.

150
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,821
But what's curious is

151
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,156
he's not actually missing.

152
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,158
This is Professor Arnold...

153
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,161
at Imperial College
this morning.

154
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,031
ARTHUR:
It's all yours.

155
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,432
And don't forget your
membership proposal.

156
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,401
Try picking

157
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,770
a more suitable
candidate this time.

158
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:15,340
17 years, and still evolving
with the times remains

159
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,442
an entirely
foreign concept to you.

160
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,177
Need I remind you
I wouldn't be here

161
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,079
if it weren't
for that young man?

162
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,849
He was as much Kingsman material
as any of them. More so.

163
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,119
But he wasn't exactly
one of us, was he?

164
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,255
Let's face it, Galahad,

165
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,817
your little experiment failed.

166
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,761
With respect, Arthur,
you're a snob.

167
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:37,996
With respect?

168
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,965
The world is changing.

169
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,369
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.

170
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,683
WOMAN:
Eggsy?

171
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,129
Eggsy, come here.

172
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,263
REPORTER:
...impact of global warming...

173
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,099
WOMAN: Got any Rizla, babe?
No.

174
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,200
Why don't you do
your mum a favor,

175
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,234
go down to the shop
and get some?

176
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,936
Get them yourself.
Oi.

177
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,905
What have I said to you about
speaking to Dean like that?

178
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,173
EGGSY:
Three's a crowd, isn't it?

179
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,508
Why don't Dean's poodle go?

180
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:26,010
I'll tell you what.

181
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,879
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas,

182
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,948
get yourself some sweets...
and while you're gone,

183
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,517
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.

184
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,985
(baby crying)

185
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,288
MOTHER:
Thanks, babe.

186
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,059
Come here.

187
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,894
(crying continues)

188
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,529
(Eggsy speaks gently)

189
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,966
There we go.

190
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,100
Is that better?

191
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,116
MAN:
<i>If Dean treats your mum</i>
<i>so bad,</i>

192
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,417
<i>why don't she leave him?</i>

193
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,386
Low self-esteem,
that's her problem.

194
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,488
Fuck off. Why would she
have low self-esteem?

195
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,923
Eggsy's mum is well fit.

196
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,224
(laughter)
No offense, bruv.

197
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,993
It's all right.

198
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,229
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.

199
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,565
Are you mental, cuz?
He'd just get that lot

200
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,127
to do you and then pretend
he knew nothing...

201
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,003
...about it.

202
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,404
MAN:
Oi!

203
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,173
You think you can chat shit
about us

204
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,275
and we won't do nothing
just 'cause our guvnor's

205
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,442
banging Eggsy's mum?

206
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,510
Pretty much, yeah.

207
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,845
Bruv, just leave it.

208
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,446
Let's just go, man.

209
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,248
It's not worth it.
You boys

210
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,217
have outstayed your welcome.

211
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,318
Leave.

212
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,221
What?

213
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:46,357
I'm sorry about that, bruv.

214
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:49,894
Yeah.

215
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,263
Mug.

216
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,866
They weren't fucking
worth it, boys.

217
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,969
It's freezing.

218
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,504
Why are we walking?

219
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,005
You jacked
his fucking car keys, bruv?

220
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,473
Yeah.

221
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,542
Now we're gonna nick his car.
(alarm chirps)

222
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,910
Fucking...
Shit.

223
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,912
Move, bruv!

224
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,615
(engine revving,
tires squealing)

225
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,218
Hold on, boys.

226
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:15,887
(whooping laughter)

227
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,956
Hey, that's my fucking car!

228
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,591
Hey! Hey!

229
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:22,527
Eggsy, I swear,
you want to fucking stop it!

230
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,928
You're a fucking dead man!

231
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,363
Stop it!

232
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,998
(whooping)
(shouting)

233
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,300
I'm gonna fuckin' have ya!

234
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,135
(laughter continues)

235
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,604
Come on.

236
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,607
Floor it, Eggsy!

237
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,369
(engine revving)
Floor it!

238
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,878
Wanker!
(laughing)

239
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,480
Yeah, yeah, Dean, look, it's me.

240
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,282
Eggsy just stole
my fucking car, yeah.

241
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,417
Yeah, I've come out the pub,
he's done about 15 doughnuts

242
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,119
in my fucking face,
and he's drove off.

243
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,454
(sirens approaching)

244
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,322
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me,

245
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,358
and that means
he's disrespecting you.

246
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,526
Oh, hold up! What the...

247
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,100
(laughing)

248
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,609
(horns honking)

249
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,677
(tires squealing)

250
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,145
Come on, Eggsy!

251
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,468
(groans)

252
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,750
Dickhead.

253
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,674
Foxes are vermin, cuz.

254
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,208
Should've driven it over.

255
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,476
Should've done a lot of things.

256
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,011
I'll sort this.

257
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,212
Get out of the car.
(thunder rumbling)

258
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,648
I said,
get out of the fucking car!

259
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,530
(siren wailing)
(engine revving)

260
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,092
POLICEMAN (voice-over):
<i>Eggsy, there is no such thing</i>

261
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,727
<i>as honor amongst thieves.</i>

262
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,697
Now, you can start giving me
some names

263
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:07,732
of the boys you were with,

264
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,500
or you go down.

265
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,669
It's up to you.

266
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,505
I want to exercise my right
to a phone call.

267
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,640
(sighs)

268
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,743
Well...

269
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,478
I hope it's to your mum,

270
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,348
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.

271
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,653
(door opens)

272
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,155
(door closes)

273
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,101
¶ ¶

274
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,179
(line ringing)

275
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,115
RECEPTIONIST:
Customer Complaints,
how may I help you?

276
00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:00,151
Um... my name's Eggsy Unwin.

277
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,786
Sorry, Gary Unwin.

278
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:04,655
And I'm up shit creek.

279
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,057
I'm in Holborn police station,

280
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,258
and my mum said
to call this number

281
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,593
if ever I needed help and...

282
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,728
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.

283
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,398
Wait! Wait!

284
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,366
Oxfords not brogues?

285
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,437
Your complaint has been
duly noted,

286
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,173
and we hope that we have not
lost you as a loyal customer.

287
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,142
(line disconnects, beeps)

288
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,682
(phone ringing)

289
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,154
Yeah.

290
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,556
You what?

291
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,458
I...

292
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,193
Yeah.

293
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:45,296
Yes, I totally understand.

294
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,265
(scoffs)

295
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,341
¶ ¶

296
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,117
Eggsy.

297
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,785
Would you like a lift home?

298
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,720
Who are you?

299
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,422
The man who got you released.

300
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,757
That ain't an answer.

301
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,793
A little gratitude
would be nice.

302
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,396
My name is Harry Hart,

303
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,697
and I gave you that medal.

304
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,301
Your father saved my life.

305
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,572
EGGSY:
<i>So before you was a tailor,</i>

306
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:28,739
<i>was you in the army?</i>

307
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,374
Like an officer?

308
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,376
Not quite.

309
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,345
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?

310
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,647
Sorry, Eggsy, classified.

311
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,350
But my dad saved
your life, yeah?

312
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,586
The day your father died,

313
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,454
I missed something.

314
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,224
And if it weren't
for his courage,

315
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,293
my mistake would have cost
the lives of every man present.

316
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,262
So I owe him.

317
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,533
Your father was a brave man.

318
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:56,734
A good man.

319
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,137
And having read your files,

320
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,338
I think he'd be
bitterly disappointed

321
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,539
in the choices you've made.

322
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,907
You can't talk
to me like that.

323
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:06,477
Huge IQ, great performance
at primary school...

324
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,346
and it all went tits up.

325
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,249
Drugs, petty crime,
never had a job.

326
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,384
Oh, you think there's a lot of
jobs going around here, do you?

327
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,652
Doesn't explain why
you gave up your hobbies.

328
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,522
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics

329
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,157
two years in a row.

330
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,359
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.

331
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,561
Yeah, well, when you grow up
around someone like my stepdad,

332
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:24,929
you pick up new hobbies
pretty quick.

333
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,531
Of course.
Always someone else's fault.

334
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,901
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?

335
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,269
You were halfway
through training,

336
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,436
doing brilliantly,
but you gave up.

337
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,672
Because my mum went mental.

338
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,275
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.

339
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,278
Didn't want me being cannon
fodder for snobs like you!

340
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,813
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers

341
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,249
with no thought about
why we do what we do.

342
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,817
We ain't got much choice.

343
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,586
You get me?

344
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:51,255
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses,

345
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,924
we'd do just as well as you.

346
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:55,293
If not better.
YOUNG MAN: What the fuck

347
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,255
you doing here?
You taking the piss?

348
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,231
Some more examples of young men

349
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,832
who simply need
a silver suppository?

350
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,235
No, they're exceptions. Come on.
Nonsense.

351
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,403
We haven't finished our drinks.

352
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,504
After you nicked his car,

353
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,939
Dean says you're fair game.

354
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,640
He don't give a shit
what your mum says.

355
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,202
HARRY:
Um, listen, boys.

356
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,378
I've had
a rather emotional day,

357
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,314
so whatever your beef
with Eggsy is,

358
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,849
and I'm sure it's well-founded,

359
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,818
I'd appreciate it enormously

360
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,920
if you could just leave us
in peace

361
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,556
until I finish this lovely pint
of Guinness.

362
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,961
You should
get out of the way, Granddad,

363
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:31,362
or you'll get hurt and all.

364
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:32,897
He ain't joking.
You should go.

365
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,298
(sighing):
Hmm...

366
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,433
(smacks lips)

367
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,006
Excuse me. Excuse me.

368
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,441
If you're looking
for another rent boy,

369
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,543
they're on the corner
of Smith Street.

370
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:46,877
(young men snickering)

371
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:51,849
Manners...

372
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,253
...maketh...

373
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,490
...man.

374
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,799
Do you know what that means?

375
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,737
Then let me teach you a lesson.

376
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,046
Are we going to stand

377
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:23,481
around here all day,

378
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,649
or are we going to fight?

379
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,922
(grunting)

380
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:45,570
(bellowing)

381
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,851
(groans)

382
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,377
(groaning)

383
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:10,462
You fucking dirty,

384
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,496
fucking dirty...!

385
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,065
(gun clicks)

386
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,535
(silenced shot)

387
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:33,584
(glassware clattering)

388
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,123
(Harry sighs)

389
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,935
(Harry exhales)

390
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:54,605
Sorry about that.

391
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:57,742
Needed to let off
a little steam.

392
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:01,145
I heard yesterday
a friend of mine died.

393
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,881
He knew your father,
too, actually.

394
00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:07,885
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.

395
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,154
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.

396
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:11,956
No, please, I won't
say nothing.

397
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:13,491
I swear...
If there's one thing I can do,

398
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:14,759
it's keep my mouth shut.

399
00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,427
You won't tell a soul?
Ask the Feds.

400
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,396
I've never grassed anyone up.
Is that a promise?

401
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,597
On my life!

402
00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:20,865
(anxious panting)

403
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,770
Much appreciated, Eggsy.

404
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,438
You're right about the snobs.

405
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,040
But there, too,
there are exceptions.

406
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:32,009
Best of luck with everything.

407
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:49,560
ANCHOR: In celebrity news,
the Richmond Valentine movie

408
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:51,128
premiered in Hollywood
last night.

409
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,931
The story of the Internet
billionaire's rise to power

410
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:57,201
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.

411
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,537
One notable absence
from the red carpet

412
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:02,206
was Iggy Azalea,
still missing three days

413
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:04,508
after she failed to appear
at her Oakland concert.

414
00:24:04,510 --> 00:24:05,976
No ransom has been demanded.

415
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,945
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...

416
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,713
(shouting)

417
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:11,115
No, please, don't hurt him!
Fuck off!

418
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:12,116
Don't hurt him!
Get the fuck away with you!

419
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:13,517
Shut the fuck up!

420
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,454
Who was with you
in that fucking pub?

421
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:18,556
I want to know the name
of the geezer you was with!

422
00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,491
I wasn't with no one!
Who was it?

423
00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:21,959
I don't know what
you're on about.
Who was it?

424
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,461
I don't know who
you're fucking on about!

425
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:24,695
Fucking tell me his name!

426
00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:26,597
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!

427
00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:28,599
(screaming)

428
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:29,867
(Dean shouts)

429
00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:32,102
DEAN:
You listen to me!

430
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:33,637
I want to know
who you was with in that pub.

431
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:34,839
Do you understand?

432
00:24:34,841 --> 00:24:36,240
I want to know his fucking name!

433
00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:38,008
Because, I swear,

434
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,844
I'll rip your head off.

435
00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:41,712
Tell me!
I don't know what you're fucking
on about!

436
00:24:41,714 --> 00:24:43,013
DEAN:
Tell me!

437
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:45,216
Just tell him, Eggsy!
Fuck off!

438
00:24:45,218 --> 00:24:47,585
Fuck off, Michelle!
I could kill you right now,

439
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:49,987
and no one in the whole world
will notice!

440
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,722
HARRY (through speaker):
But I would.

441
00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:53,057
I have enough evidence

442
00:24:53,059 --> 00:24:54,992
on your activities
to have you locked up

443
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:57,061
for the rest of your life,
Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.

444
00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:59,196
What the fuck?!
So I suggest

445
00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,131
you leave the boy alone,
or I shall be forced

446
00:25:01,133 --> 00:25:03,667
to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.

447
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:05,135
(panting)
Eggsy,

448
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,838
meet me at the tailor
I told you about.

449
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,108
What the fuck's going on here?

450
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:13,677
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!

451
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,179
Hey, we got a racer!
Come here.

452
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,580
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!

453
00:25:16,582 --> 00:25:17,815
(shouting angrily)
Eggsy, you fucking...

454
00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:18,883
Come here, son!

455
00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:33,297
You wanker!

456
00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:36,066
I'll have you, son!

457
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:52,016
¶ ¶

458
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,593
I've never met
a tailor before,

459
00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:04,662
but I know you ain't one.

460
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,200
Come with me.

461
00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,945
Come on in.

462
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:27,017
What do you see?

463
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,987
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.

464
00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:35,759
I see a young man
with potential.

465
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:38,162
A young man who is loyal,

466
00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:40,364
who can do as he's asked,

467
00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:44,234
and who wants to do
something good with his life.

468
00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:46,604
Did you see the film
<i>Trading Places?</i>

469
00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:48,672
No.

470
00:26:48,674 --> 00:26:50,641
How about<i> Nikita?</i>

471
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,011
<i>Pretty Woman?</i>

472
00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:55,613
All right.

473
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,348
My point is, that the lack
of a silver spoon

474
00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:58,983
has set you on a certain path,

475
00:26:58,985 --> 00:27:00,618
but you needn't stay on it.

476
00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:02,953
If you're prepared
to adapt and learn,

477
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,255
you can transform.

478
00:27:05,257 --> 00:27:07,817
Oh, like in <i>My Fair Lady.</i>

479
00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:11,195
Well, you're full of surprises.

480
00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:14,398
Yes, like<i> My Fair Lady.</i>

481
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,266
Only, in this case,

482
00:27:16,268 --> 00:27:18,669
I'm offering you the opportunity
to become a Kingsman.

483
00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:20,671
A tailor?

484
00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:22,306
A Kingsman agent.

485
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,142
Like a spy?

486
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:26,644
Of sorts.

487
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,178
(scoffs)

488
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:30,648
Interested?

489
00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:33,210
You think I've got
anything to lose?

490
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:39,289
(clicking, whirring)

491
00:27:39,291 --> 00:27:40,891
Since 1849,

492
00:27:40,893 --> 00:27:42,292
Kingsman tailors have clothed

493
00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:44,695
the world's most
powerful individuals.

494
00:27:44,697 --> 00:27:46,764
By 1919,
a great number of them

495
00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:50,167
had lost their heirs
to World War I.

496
00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:53,070
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited,

497
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,305
and a lot of powerful men

498
00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:58,208
with a desire to preserve peace
and protect life.

499
00:27:58,210 --> 00:28:00,344
Our founders realized
that they could channel

500
00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:03,347
that wealth and influence
for the greater good.

501
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:06,417
And so began our other venture.

502
00:28:06,419 --> 00:28:09,787
An independent, international
intelligence agency

503
00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:12,723
operating at the highest
level of discretion.

504
00:28:12,725 --> 00:28:15,359
Above the politics
and bureaucracy

505
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:17,194
that undermine the integrity

506
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:20,197
of government-run
spy organizations.

507
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,332
The suit is a modern
gentleman's armor,

508
00:28:22,334 --> 00:28:24,735
and the Kingsman agents

509
00:28:24,737 --> 00:28:26,904
are the new knights.

510
00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:29,406
EGGSY: How deep does
this fucking thing go?

511
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,774
HARRY:
Deep enough.

512
00:28:45,991 --> 00:28:47,791
¶ ¶

513
00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:07,511
¶ ¶

514
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,054
Shit, we're late.

515
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,140
¶ ¶

516
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:43,847
Your father had
the same look on his face.

517
00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:47,785
As did I.

518
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:50,888
Come on.

519
00:29:52,491 --> 00:29:53,924
Galahad.

520
00:29:53,926 --> 00:29:55,125
My code name.

521
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,060
Late again, sir.

522
00:29:57,062 --> 00:29:58,328
Good luck.

523
00:29:58,330 --> 00:30:00,297
In you go.

524
00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:13,803
MERLIN:
Fall in.

525
00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:18,081
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Merlin.

526
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:19,983
You are about to embark
on what is probably

527
00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:22,052
the most dangerous
job interview in the world.

528
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:25,055
One of you,
and only one of you,

529
00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:28,091
will become the next Lancelot.

530
00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:31,595
Can anybody tell me
what this is?

531
00:30:31,597 --> 00:30:33,096
Yes?

532
00:30:33,098 --> 00:30:34,198
Body bag, sir.

533
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,465
Correct.

534
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:36,567
Charlie, isn't it?

535
00:30:36,569 --> 00:30:37,968
Yes, sir.

536
00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:39,403
Good.

537
00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:41,338
In a moment, you will each
collect a body bag.

538
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:43,207
You will write your name
on that bag.

539
00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:46,977
You will write the details of
your next of kin on that bag.

540
00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:48,512
This represents
your acknowledgment of the risks

541
00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,247
that you're about to face

542
00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:53,884
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.

543
00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:55,485
Which, incidentally,
if you break,

544
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:56,954
will result in you

545
00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:59,423
and your next of kin being

546
00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,458
in that bag.

547
00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:05,963
Is that understood?

548
00:31:05,965 --> 00:31:07,297
Excellent.

549
00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:09,132
Fall out.

550
00:31:15,407 --> 00:31:17,274
Roxanne.

551
00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:18,976
But call me Roxy.

552
00:31:18,978 --> 00:31:20,244
I'm Eggsy.

553
00:31:20,246 --> 00:31:21,246
"Eggy"?

554
00:31:21,247 --> 00:31:23,914
No, "Eggsy."
Eggy?

555
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:25,116
And where did they dig you up?

556
00:31:25,117 --> 00:31:26,483
You know we're not allowed
to discuss

557
00:31:26,485 --> 00:31:28,619
who proposed us.
No need to bite his head off.

558
00:31:28,621 --> 00:31:31,121
Charlie's only making
conversation, right, Charlie?

559
00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:33,056
Hm.
I'm Digby.

560
00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:34,992
Digby.

561
00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:36,460
Eggy, this is Rufus.

562
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:38,428
Rufus, Eggy.

563
00:31:40,099 --> 00:31:43,233
So, Eggy, are you
Oxford or Cambridge?

564
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:44,468
Neither.

565
00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:46,003
Saint Andrews?
Durham?

566
00:31:46,005 --> 00:31:48,071
No, wait, I think
we may have met.

567
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,340
Did you serve me
at the McDonald's

568
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:51,675
in Winchester service station?

569
00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:53,543
No, but if I had,

570
00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:55,479
I'd have given you an extra
helping of secret sauce.

571
00:31:55,481 --> 00:31:57,147
It's definitely Saint Andrews.

572
00:31:57,149 --> 00:31:59,249
(snickering)

573
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,550
Just ignore them.

574
00:32:00,552 --> 00:32:01,685
You need a pen?

575
00:32:01,687 --> 00:32:03,553
Cheers.
Amelia, isn't it?

576
00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:05,622
Amelia, Eggsy.

577
00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:07,157
Hi, Eggsy.

578
00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:09,159
Don't take any notice
of those guys.

579
00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:11,028
ROXY:
That's what I told him.

580
00:32:12,197 --> 00:32:14,531
It's just scare tactics.

581
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,433
Classic Army technique.

582
00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:17,935
No one's gonna die.

583
00:32:17,937 --> 00:32:19,002
(men snickering)

584
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,073
Shame.

585
00:32:24,176 --> 00:32:25,575
VALENTINE:
Great.

586
00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:27,444
You don't know,
the CIA don't know.

587
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:29,947
Nobody knows who this guy is?

588
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,415
Fine.

589
00:32:31,417 --> 00:32:33,417
Seriously, it's fine.

590
00:32:33,419 --> 00:32:35,319
Well, it's not really fine,

591
00:32:35,321 --> 00:32:37,254
but it's not why I'm here.

592
00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:39,256
(chuckles)
Hell, man, you know me.

593
00:32:39,258 --> 00:32:41,058
Money's not my issue.

594
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:43,160
I could've retired
straight out of MIT,

595
00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:45,462
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.

596
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:48,532
Nobody told me to try
and save the planet.

597
00:32:48,534 --> 00:32:50,200
I wanted to.

598
00:32:50,202 --> 00:32:52,402
Climate change research,
lobbying,

599
00:32:52,404 --> 00:32:54,338
years of study,
billions of dollars,

600
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,340
and you know why I quit?

601
00:32:56,342 --> 00:32:58,742
Because the last time I checked,

602
00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:01,278
the planet was still fucked.

603
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,348
Hence, my epiphany.

604
00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:06,984
Money won't solve this.

605
00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:10,187
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians

606
00:33:10,189 --> 00:33:11,621
have buried their heads
in the sand

607
00:33:11,623 --> 00:33:14,524
and stood for nothing
but reelection.

608
00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:16,626
So I spent the last two years

609
00:33:16,628 --> 00:33:20,030
trying to find a real solution.

610
00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:22,666
And I found it.

611
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:25,736
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place,

612
00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:28,238
I suggest you open
your fucking ears,

613
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,140
because I'm about
to tell it to you.

614
00:33:30,142 --> 00:33:32,342
PRESIDENT:
Go on, Mr. Valentine.

615
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,344
I'm still listening.

616
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:38,281
VALENTINE:
As long as you agree
to all my terms.

617
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:51,228
(flushes quietly)

618
00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:11,648
¶ ¶

619
00:34:16,822 --> 00:34:18,488
(gasps)

620
00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:21,491
What the fuck's going on?

621
00:34:21,493 --> 00:34:22,626
The fuck is this?
What's going on?

622
00:34:22,628 --> 00:34:25,462
(gasping)

623
00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:27,164
Oh, shit.
Jesus!

624
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,765
CHARLIE:
All right, no one panic.
Listen to me.

625
00:34:28,767 --> 00:34:30,167
Stay calm.

626
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:31,568
Fuck.

627
00:34:33,639 --> 00:34:35,372
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!

628
00:34:35,374 --> 00:34:37,474
Loo snorkels?
Showerheads!

629
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,477
Showerheads?!
She's right.

630
00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,213
Go! Fucking go!

631
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,655
Hey, hang about, what's wrong
with the fucking door? (gasps)

632
00:35:05,537 --> 00:35:07,337
(muffled grunting)

633
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:27,891
¶ ¶

634
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,247
(muffled grunting)

635
00:36:01,193 --> 00:36:04,227
(coughing)

636
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:10,433
Congratulations

637
00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:12,235
on completing your first task.

638
00:36:12,237 --> 00:36:15,305
Charlie, Roxy, well done.

639
00:36:15,307 --> 00:36:16,907
For those of you
who are still confused,

640
00:36:16,909 --> 00:36:18,341
if you can get a breathing tube

641
00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:19,643
around a U-bend of a toilet,

642
00:36:19,645 --> 00:36:21,311
you have an unlimited
air supply.

643
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:23,947
Simple physics,
worth remembering.

644
00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:27,484
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.

645
00:36:27,486 --> 00:36:28,919
He's probably seen
enough of them.

646
00:36:28,921 --> 00:36:31,688
Yeah, you can all wipe
those smirks off your faces.

647
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:33,356
Because as far as I'm concerned,

648
00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,692
every single one of you
has failed.

649
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:39,196
You all forgot the most
important thing...

650
00:36:39,198 --> 00:36:41,231
Teamwork.

651
00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:57,881
So much for classic
Army technique.

652
00:37:00,352 --> 00:37:02,686
Thirty-five.

653
00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:04,921
One-oh-five.

654
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:07,624
That's it. That's it.
(chuckles)

655
00:37:11,663 --> 00:37:12,896
Hello.

656
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:14,698
Can I help you?

657
00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:18,401
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.

658
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,770
(chuckling):
Oh... Really?

659
00:37:20,772 --> 00:37:22,872
Well, it's actually
quite fascinating.

660
00:37:22,874 --> 00:37:24,507
(choking)

661
00:37:24,509 --> 00:37:26,509
My colleague died
trying to rescue you,

662
00:37:26,511 --> 00:37:28,411
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was,

663
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,380
so I suggest you tell me
who kidnapped you

664
00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:31,648
and why they let you go.

665
00:37:31,650 --> 00:37:33,750
I have no idea
what you're talking...

666
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:36,453
I'm not supposed to say it,
but it was... (screaming)

667
00:37:36,455 --> 00:37:38,255
Oh, for God's sake,
I've barely touched you.

668
00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,023
Oh, man up!
(explosion)

669
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:52,902
(beeping)

670
00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:55,438
(explosion)

671
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:56,906
(tires screech)

672
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:02,445
VALENTINE: Fuck that guy,
whoever he is. I'm gonna...

673
00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:05,582
He made me kill
Professor Arnold.

674
00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:06,916
I goddamn loved
Professor Arnold.

675
00:38:06,918 --> 00:38:08,618
Well, the good news is

676
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:10,687
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.

677
00:38:10,689 --> 00:38:12,822
You know what's not good news?

678
00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:14,724
(imitates British accent):
"My colleague died!"

679
00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:16,359
That's what he said!

680
00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:18,662
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.

681
00:38:18,664 --> 00:38:19,829
Whoever you spoke to...

682
00:38:19,831 --> 00:38:21,464
I told you, I made contact

683
00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:24,301
with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.

684
00:38:24,303 --> 00:38:25,902
They all insist
he wasn't one of theirs.

685
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:27,937
Beijing.

686
00:38:27,939 --> 00:38:30,307
So freaky how there's
no recognizable name

687
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:32,709
for the Chinese secret service.

688
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:34,911
Now, that's what you
call a secret, right?

689
00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:37,714
You know what?
Fuck it.

690
00:38:37,716 --> 00:38:39,849
We need to speed things up.

691
00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:41,451
Bring the product
release forward.

692
00:38:41,453 --> 00:38:43,353
We're only halfway
into production,

693
00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:44,821
and speeding it
will cost a fortune.

694
00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:46,389
I look like I give a fuck?

695
00:38:46,391 --> 00:38:48,425
Just get it done.

696
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:54,631
As some of you
will have learned last night,

697
00:38:54,633 --> 00:38:58,335
teamwork is paramount
here at Kingsman.

698
00:38:58,337 --> 00:39:01,938
We're here to enhance your
skills, test you to the limit.

699
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:04,941
Which is why
you're gonna pick a puppy.

700
00:39:04,943 --> 00:39:05,943
(dogs whimpering softly)

701
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:07,877
Wherever you go, your dog goes.

702
00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:10,113
You will care for it,
you will teach it,

703
00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:13,116
and by the time it's fully
trained, so will you be.

704
00:39:13,118 --> 00:39:15,952
Those of you who are
still here, that is.

705
00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:18,021
Do you understand?

706
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:19,456
Choose your puppy.

707
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,760
EGGSY:
A poodle?

708
00:39:23,762 --> 00:39:24,961
ROXY:
What?

709
00:39:24,963 --> 00:39:26,796
They're gun dogs.

710
00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,631
Oldest working breed.

711
00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:30,533
Easy to train.

712
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:31,535
(whimpering softly)

713
00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:33,136
A pug?

714
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,739
It's a bulldog, innit?

715
00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:39,609
It'll get bigger though,
won't it?

716
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:45,682
Shit.

717
00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:47,517
(monitor beeping rhythmically)

718
00:39:47,519 --> 00:39:50,954
His MRI shows
no signs of concussion.

719
00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:54,124
No direct
brain trauma at all.

720
00:39:54,126 --> 00:39:56,626
How much longer
can he be out?

721
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:57,961
That's the million-dollar
question.

722
00:39:57,963 --> 00:40:00,063
We don't know what he was
exposed to in there.

723
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:01,664
What about Harry's footage?

724
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,967
It didn't stream to
his home terminal.

725
00:40:03,969 --> 00:40:05,969
Encrypted and uncrackable.

726
00:40:05,971 --> 00:40:08,772
If and when he comes around,
you might want to have a word

727
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:10,673
with him about
sharing his password.

728
00:40:10,675 --> 00:40:12,509
Is he gonna be all right?

729
00:40:12,511 --> 00:40:15,412
We need to have patience, Eggsy.

730
00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:17,013
But there's hope, okay?

731
00:40:17,015 --> 00:40:19,549
If I were you, I'd concentrate
on your training.

732
00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:21,684
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.

733
00:40:26,992 --> 00:40:28,992
(dogs barking)
Fuck!

734
00:40:28,994 --> 00:40:30,760
Come on, come on, come on!

735
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:31,828
J.B., come on!

736
00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:32,830
Come on!

737
00:40:32,831 --> 00:40:34,063
(J.B. growling)

738
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,134
I'm not coming last
'cause of you.

739
00:40:38,136 --> 00:40:39,669
J.B., I'll shoot you!

740
00:40:39,671 --> 00:40:41,571
Goddamn you,
I'll fucking shoot you!

741
00:40:41,573 --> 00:40:44,533
(whimpering)
Merlin said
we're not allowed to hold you.

742
00:40:46,511 --> 00:40:47,977
Bollocks.

743
00:41:08,033 --> 00:41:09,999
¶ ¶

744
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,487
(J.B. barking)

745
00:41:30,489 --> 00:41:31,554
Water!

746
00:41:31,556 --> 00:41:33,490
(panting)

747
00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:34,691
(laughter)

748
00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:36,526
Come on, then!
Eggsy, forget it!

749
00:41:36,528 --> 00:41:38,127
Oh, what's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?

750
00:41:38,129 --> 00:41:40,597
Seriously, you'll get thrown
out, and it's just not worth it.

751
00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:42,098
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!

752
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:43,700
Do it.
Come on, you pleb.

753
00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:45,101
Charlie, fuck off!

754
00:41:45,103 --> 00:41:46,836
Aw...

755
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,071
Yeah, go on, walk away.

756
00:41:48,073 --> 00:41:50,139
Dickhead.

757
00:41:50,141 --> 00:41:52,675
Come on, J.B.

758
00:41:52,677 --> 00:41:53,877
Come on, good boy.

759
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,090
(beeps)

760
00:42:07,092 --> 00:42:08,725
MERLIN:
<i>You have exactly one hour</i>

761
00:42:08,727 --> 00:42:10,026
<i>to complete the test,</i>

762
00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:11,761
starting now.

763
00:42:13,832 --> 00:42:15,665
CHARLIE:
<i>New target, 800 meters.</i>

764
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,634
<i>You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here,</i>

765
00:42:17,636 --> 00:42:19,769
lingering like
some big steaming shit

766
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,838
that just won't flush.
Roger that.

767
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,106
Target identified.

768
00:42:23,108 --> 00:42:25,041
And how about
you shut the fuck up?

769
00:42:25,043 --> 00:42:27,143
Positive discrimination,
that's what it is.

770
00:42:27,145 --> 00:42:30,046
It's like those fucking state
school kids who get into Oxford

771
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:32,949
on "C" grades 'cause their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.

772
00:42:32,951 --> 00:42:34,784
You don't know fuck all
about my grades.

773
00:42:34,786 --> 00:42:36,119
Oh, forgive me, I'm sure
you're highly educated.

774
00:42:36,121 --> 00:42:37,121
Fire when ready.

775
00:42:38,757 --> 00:42:40,189
(gasps)

776
00:42:40,191 --> 00:42:42,351
EGGSY: How's that
for positive discrimination?

777
00:42:54,773 --> 00:42:56,906
I want to thank you both
for listening,

778
00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:59,842
and I really, really appreciate
you traveling all this way,

779
00:42:59,844 --> 00:43:01,277
Your Royal Highness.

780
00:43:01,279 --> 00:43:03,246
And you, too,
Prime Minister.

781
00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:06,349
I think this is quite brilliant.

782
00:43:06,351 --> 00:43:08,851
It's absolutely brilliant.

783
00:43:08,853 --> 00:43:10,086
(chuckles)

784
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:12,956
You are completely crazy.

785
00:43:20,165 --> 00:43:22,966
(princess continues,
speaking Swedish)

786
00:43:24,669 --> 00:43:27,303
Don't touch...
Sorry, Your Royal Highness.

787
00:43:27,305 --> 00:43:29,005
But you've got
a big role to play

788
00:43:29,007 --> 00:43:31,174
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.

789
00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:33,042
You're popular,
inspirational,

790
00:43:33,044 --> 00:43:35,378
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.

791
00:43:35,380 --> 00:43:38,381
Now, whether
you're on board or not,

792
00:43:38,383 --> 00:43:40,216
I'm going to have to insist

793
00:43:40,218 --> 00:43:43,286
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.

794
00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:46,022
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?

795
00:43:46,024 --> 00:43:49,892
Well, I think it's about time
that a politician did something

796
00:43:49,894 --> 00:43:53,296
that, uh...
actually made a difference.

797
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,732
Too true.

798
00:43:55,734 --> 00:43:56,734
What...?

799
00:43:56,735 --> 00:43:58,034
Take her away.

800
00:43:58,036 --> 00:44:01,104
(speaking Swedish)

801
00:44:01,106 --> 00:44:02,739
Drink?

802
00:44:02,741 --> 00:44:05,141
Why not?

803
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,648
Don't worry. No harm
will come to the princess.

804
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:13,316
Well, I'm a republican anyway,

805
00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:16,119
so it...
it really doesn't matter.

806
00:44:16,121 --> 00:44:17,687
(both laugh)

807
00:44:17,689 --> 00:44:19,022
Release the princess!

808
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:30,266
(screams)

809
00:44:32,771 --> 00:44:33,903
(groans)

810
00:44:37,942 --> 00:44:39,222
(screams)

811
00:44:43,381 --> 00:44:44,914
(gasps)

812
00:44:52,257 --> 00:44:53,790
Okay, you're done.

813
00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:55,725
Not so bad, right?

814
00:44:55,727 --> 00:44:57,827
Hardly felt a thing.

815
00:44:57,829 --> 00:44:59,796
Welcome aboard.

816
00:44:59,798 --> 00:45:01,731
Pleasure is all mine.

817
00:45:01,733 --> 00:45:03,013
(Valentine laughs)

818
00:45:07,439 --> 00:45:09,038
Ever heard of knocking?

819
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,474
Only when I'm casing
a place to rob.

820
00:45:11,476 --> 00:45:14,210
Merlin said
you wanted to see me.

821
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:15,344
(barks)

822
00:45:15,346 --> 00:45:16,346
I hope J.B.'s training

823
00:45:16,347 --> 00:45:17,480
is going as well as yours is.

824
00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:18,815
Sit.

825
00:45:20,318 --> 00:45:23,019
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.

826
00:45:23,021 --> 00:45:26,989
Your test results were even
better than I could've hoped.

827
00:45:26,991 --> 00:45:29,258
(knocking on door)

828
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:30,960
Come in.

829
00:45:33,031 --> 00:45:34,464
Oh...

830
00:45:34,466 --> 00:45:37,467
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.

831
00:45:37,469 --> 00:45:38,868
You're dismissed.

832
00:45:38,870 --> 00:45:40,503
Nonsense.
Let him observe.

833
00:45:40,505 --> 00:45:42,739
Might learn a thing or two.

834
00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:44,040
As you wish.

835
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:45,942
Take a look at this.

836
00:45:45,944 --> 00:45:47,944
HARRY:
Oh, for God's sake, I've barely
touched you. Oh, man up!

837
00:45:47,946 --> 00:45:49,946
(explosion over video)
Fucking hell!

838
00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:52,982
That is rank, Harry.

839
00:45:52,984 --> 00:45:54,450
You blew up his head?

840
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,185
It's a bit much, innit?

841
00:45:56,187 --> 00:45:58,154
Actually, the explosion
was caused

842
00:45:58,156 --> 00:45:59,922
by an implant in his neck.

843
00:45:59,924 --> 00:46:02,024
Here, under the scar.

844
00:46:02,026 --> 00:46:04,427
HARRY: Did my hardware pick up
the signal that triggered it?

845
00:46:04,429 --> 00:46:06,329
Fortunately, yes.

846
00:46:06,331 --> 00:46:09,031
Unfortunately, the IP address
I traced it to is registered

847
00:46:09,033 --> 00:46:10,166
to the Valentine Corporation.

848
00:46:10,168 --> 00:46:12,034
HARRY:
That's not much of a lead.

849
00:46:12,036 --> 00:46:13,936
He has millions
of employees worldwide.

850
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:16,498
EGGSY: That Richmond
Valentine is a genius.

851
00:46:19,477 --> 00:46:22,779
Did you not see
his announcement today?

852
00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:25,081
No.

853
00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:27,216
(tapping keys on tablet)

854
00:46:27,218 --> 00:46:31,187
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year

855
00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:33,456
on cell phone
and Internet usage.

856
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:36,993
It gives me great pleasure
to announce

857
00:46:36,995 --> 00:46:39,428
those days are over.

858
00:46:39,430 --> 00:46:43,065
As of tomorrow,
every man, woman and child

859
00:46:43,067 --> 00:46:44,934
can claim a free SIM card,

860
00:46:44,936 --> 00:46:49,172
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer,

861
00:46:49,174 --> 00:46:53,409
and utilize my communications
network for free.

862
00:46:53,411 --> 00:46:58,347
Free calls, free Internet
for everyone.

863
00:46:58,349 --> 00:46:59,949
Forever.

864
00:46:59,951 --> 00:47:01,217
(applause)

865
00:47:15,934 --> 00:47:19,101
HARRY: Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.

866
00:47:19,103 --> 00:47:22,138
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tête-à-tête.

867
00:47:25,310 --> 00:47:27,944
He's having a gala dinner
next week.

868
00:47:27,946 --> 00:47:29,412
I'll get you an invitation.

869
00:47:29,414 --> 00:47:31,180
You need to be careful, though.

870
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:33,449
Since you've been out, hundreds
of VIPs have gone missing.

871
00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:35,918
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.

872
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,088
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.

873
00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:53,870
Fuck, fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

874
00:47:53,872 --> 00:47:55,104
What, don't like heights?

875
00:47:55,106 --> 00:47:56,405
Yeah, it's okay.

876
00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:58,541
I've done it before,
which is probably why,

877
00:47:58,543 --> 00:48:00,176
come to think of it.

878
00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,312
Hey, it's gonna be all right.

879
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:05,014
You're top of the class.

880
00:48:06,451 --> 00:48:08,317
MERLIN (over speakers):
Listen up.

881
00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:09,619
Your mission is to land
in the target

882
00:48:09,621 --> 00:48:11,287
without the radar detecting you.

883
00:48:11,289 --> 00:48:13,389
If I read you on the radar
or you miss the target,

884
00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,224
you go home.

885
00:48:18,930 --> 00:48:20,747
Is that understood?

886
00:48:20,748 --> 00:48:22,668
<i>Drop zone coming up,
20 seconds.</i>

887
00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:25,401
We got to go.

888
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:36,479
Eggsy, I really don't
think I can do this.

889
00:48:36,481 --> 00:48:38,047
Of course you can't.

890
00:48:38,049 --> 00:48:40,249
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?

891
00:48:43,488 --> 00:48:45,254
(beep)

892
00:48:45,256 --> 00:48:47,657
Come on!
(whooping, laughing)

893
00:48:47,659 --> 00:48:49,659
Eggsy! Eggsy, wait!
Hang on!

894
00:48:49,661 --> 00:48:52,228
Roxy, just stop fucking about!

895
00:48:53,965 --> 00:48:55,665
Follow me, yeah?

896
00:49:04,943 --> 00:49:06,709
(whooping)

897
00:49:09,013 --> 00:49:12,114
Come on!

898
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,150
(over radio):
Roxy, it's now or never.

899
00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:16,118
Jump!

900
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:17,420
(Roxy gasps)

901
00:49:24,996 --> 00:49:26,963
(whooping)

902
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:35,271
(laughing)

903
00:49:35,273 --> 00:49:36,672
EGGSY: Good girl, Rox,
I'm glad you made it!

904
00:49:36,674 --> 00:49:38,407
(whooping)
Yes!

905
00:49:38,409 --> 00:49:40,376
(laughing, whooping)

906
00:49:45,583 --> 00:49:47,516
Yeah!
Please!

907
00:49:50,989 --> 00:49:52,989
Yeah!

908
00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:54,457
Come on!

909
00:49:54,459 --> 00:49:56,759
(laughter, whooping continue)

910
00:49:56,761 --> 00:49:59,228
MERLIN:
My, my, you're all
very cheerful.

911
00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:01,497
Did you really think it was
gonna be that straightforward?

912
00:50:01,499 --> 00:50:04,133
Any idiot can read
a heads-up display.

913
00:50:04,135 --> 00:50:05,501
A Kingsman agent
needs to be able

914
00:50:05,503 --> 00:50:08,137
to solve problems
under pressure.

915
00:50:08,139 --> 00:50:11,741
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.

916
00:50:11,743 --> 00:50:13,242
(chuckles)

917
00:50:13,244 --> 00:50:15,011
ROXY: What? No parachute?!
EGGSY: Shit!

918
00:50:15,013 --> 00:50:16,245
Who?!

919
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,413
Fuck!

920
00:50:17,415 --> 00:50:18,581
Which one?

921
00:50:18,583 --> 00:50:20,016
RUFUS:
What do we do?!

922
00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:21,584
MERLIN:
I told you. Aim for the target.

923
00:50:21,586 --> 00:50:23,285
Come in under the radar.

924
00:50:23,287 --> 00:50:25,287
And I hope not to be
scraping one of you up.

925
00:50:25,289 --> 00:50:28,724
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target,

926
00:50:28,726 --> 00:50:31,027
please know I'll be
very impressed.

927
00:50:31,029 --> 00:50:32,829
RUFUS: Fuck!
ROXY: Oh, shit!

928
00:50:36,267 --> 00:50:38,187
Everybody listen,
I've got a plan!

929
00:50:39,570 --> 00:50:42,538
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.

930
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:43,806
(panting)

931
00:50:45,209 --> 00:50:46,442
Rufus, come on!

932
00:50:46,444 --> 00:50:47,510
Oh, fuck!

933
00:50:47,512 --> 00:50:49,345
EGGSY:
Rufus!

934
00:50:49,347 --> 00:50:50,746
Oh, shit! I can't!

935
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:56,485
Fuck!
(sighs)

936
00:50:56,487 --> 00:50:58,087
Oh, thank God.

937
00:50:58,089 --> 00:50:59,849
EGGSY:
Rufus, you wanker!

938
00:51:01,192 --> 00:51:02,491
Shit, we're an odd number now!

939
00:51:02,493 --> 00:51:04,660
Quick, make a circle!

940
00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:06,822
CHARLIE: Fuck, he's right!
Boys, let's do it.

941
00:51:11,335 --> 00:51:13,402
We pull our cords one by one!

942
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:14,703
When we know who's fucked,

943
00:51:14,705 --> 00:51:16,665
the person on their right
grabs them.

944
00:51:18,076 --> 00:51:19,575
ROXY:
Okay, Eggsy.

945
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,110
MERLIN:
Good plan, Eggsy.

946
00:51:21,112 --> 00:51:23,212
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.

947
00:51:23,214 --> 00:51:24,313
Me first!

948
00:51:26,117 --> 00:51:27,683
Oh, fuck!

949
00:51:27,685 --> 00:51:29,151
(laughs):
Yes!

950
00:51:29,153 --> 00:51:30,186
(screams)

951
00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:33,456
Okay, me next.

952
00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:37,193
See you on the ground, boys.

953
00:51:39,764 --> 00:51:40,863
(Roxy screams)

954
00:51:40,865 --> 00:51:41,865
Now me.

955
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:47,290
Fuck!
(panting)

956
00:51:51,309 --> 00:51:53,869
Roxy, no matter what happens
now, I've got you, all right?

957
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,280
(panting)
Okay, Eggsy.

958
00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:00,349
Yours first, okay?
Yep.

959
00:52:08,159 --> 00:52:10,493
(alarm beeping)

960
00:52:12,430 --> 00:52:14,497
Oh, shit!

961
00:52:16,267 --> 00:52:17,267
(screams)

962
00:52:21,873 --> 00:52:23,405
Shit!

963
00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:26,408
(gasping)
Shit!

964
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:28,844
(screaming)
Rox!

965
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:33,816
Fuck.

966
00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:35,151
(screams)

967
00:52:36,454 --> 00:52:38,287
(both grunt)

968
00:52:38,289 --> 00:52:40,256
(both panting)

969
00:52:44,695 --> 00:52:46,662
(both laughing)

970
00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:52,501
Hugo, Digby.

971
00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:55,571
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.

972
00:52:55,573 --> 00:52:57,840
Rufus, you opened too soon.

973
00:52:57,842 --> 00:52:59,542
You were all over the radar.

974
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:01,624
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.

975
00:53:03,414 --> 00:53:05,714
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.

976
00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:07,583
You set a new record.

977
00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:09,218
Opening at 300 feet,

978
00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:10,452
that's pretty ballsy.

979
00:53:10,454 --> 00:53:12,321
Well done for completing
another task.

980
00:53:12,323 --> 00:53:14,523
Fall out.
Sorry, sir.

981
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,926
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?

982
00:53:16,928 --> 00:53:18,861
Am I the expendable candidate?
No, no, no.

983
00:53:18,863 --> 00:53:20,462
You don't talk to me like that.

984
00:53:20,464 --> 00:53:21,830
You have a complaint,
you come here

985
00:53:21,832 --> 00:53:23,365
and you whisper it in my ear.

986
00:53:30,408 --> 00:53:32,808
You need to take that chip
off your shoulder.

987
00:53:51,295 --> 00:53:53,596
¶ ¶

988
00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:00,302
(knocks)

989
00:54:03,307 --> 00:54:04,907
Mr. DeVere.

990
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:06,508
It's a pleasure to meet you.

991
00:54:06,510 --> 00:54:07,776
I'm awfully sorry.

992
00:54:07,778 --> 00:54:09,345
I seem to have my
dates muddled up.

993
00:54:09,347 --> 00:54:10,546
Oh, no, no, no.

994
00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:12,781
I canceled the gala
because of you.

995
00:54:12,783 --> 00:54:15,985
Anybody willing to donate that
much deserves their own dinner.

996
00:54:15,987 --> 00:54:17,319
Come in.

997
00:54:17,321 --> 00:54:19,755
Thank you.

998
00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:23,959
Gotta admit, I was really
intrigued to meet you.

999
00:54:23,961 --> 00:54:25,961
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.

1000
00:54:25,963 --> 00:54:27,630
I don't doubt it.

1001
00:54:27,632 --> 00:54:30,666
And, obviously, I had my people
look into your affairs,

1002
00:54:30,668 --> 00:54:32,434
and that's some
pretty old money you're from.

1003
00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:33,569
How'd your folks make it?

1004
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,471
Property, mostly.

1005
00:54:35,473 --> 00:54:37,373
Property and the markets.

1006
00:54:37,375 --> 00:54:39,541
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.

1007
00:54:39,543 --> 00:54:42,011
Ah, look, I'm just into finding
out what caliber person you are.

1008
00:54:42,013 --> 00:54:43,345
I'm sure you understand that.

1009
00:54:43,347 --> 00:54:44,813
I most certainly do.

1010
00:54:44,815 --> 00:54:45,815
Hope you're hungry.

1011
00:54:45,816 --> 00:54:47,750
I'm famished.
Good.

1012
00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:49,351
VALENTINE:
Grab a seat.

1013
00:54:49,353 --> 00:54:50,986
(clinking footsteps)

1014
00:54:57,561 --> 00:54:59,828
¶ ¶

1015
00:55:09,607 --> 00:55:11,807
I'll have the Big Mac, please.

1016
00:55:11,809 --> 00:55:13,008
Great choice!

1017
00:55:13,010 --> 00:55:15,077
But nothing beats
two cheeseburgers

1018
00:55:15,079 --> 00:55:16,745
with secret sauce.

1019
00:55:16,747 --> 00:55:18,480
Goes great
with this '45 Lafite.

1020
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:19,748
A classic pairing.

1021
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:21,317
And may I suggest Twinkies and

1022
00:55:21,319 --> 00:55:23,085
a 1937 Château d'Yquem
for pudding?

1023
00:55:23,087 --> 00:55:25,421
I like it.

1024
00:55:25,423 --> 00:55:26,655
So...

1025
00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:28,924
you want to donate
to my foundation.

1026
00:55:28,926 --> 00:55:31,460
You are aware that
I wound things down

1027
00:55:31,462 --> 00:55:32,661
in that area, right?

1028
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:34,096
Climate change is a threat

1029
00:55:34,098 --> 00:55:35,931
which affects us all,
Mr. Valentine.

1030
00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:37,933
And you're one of
the few powerful men

1031
00:55:37,935 --> 00:55:39,768
who seems to share my concerns.

1032
00:55:39,770 --> 00:55:42,037
No, I shut things down because
I wasn't getting anywhere.

1033
00:55:42,039 --> 00:55:45,641
Every bit of research kept
pointing to the same thing.

1034
00:55:45,643 --> 00:55:47,042
That carbon emissions
are a red herring

1035
00:55:47,044 --> 00:55:48,911
and that we're past
the point of no return,

1036
00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:50,846
no matter what
remedial actions we take.

1037
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,948
(laughs)
Oh, you know your shit.

1038
00:55:52,950 --> 00:55:54,550
I sometimes envy
the blissful ignorance

1039
00:55:54,552 --> 00:55:58,787
of those less well-versed
in the... shit.

1040
00:55:58,789 --> 00:56:00,923
As Professor Arnold always said,

1041
00:56:00,925 --> 00:56:02,891
"Humankind is the only virus

1042
00:56:02,893 --> 00:56:04,893
"cursed to live with the
horrifying knowledge

1043
00:56:04,895 --> 00:56:07,463
of its host's
fragile mortality."

1044
00:56:07,465 --> 00:56:11,100
You know, not a lot of
people knew about him.

1045
00:56:11,102 --> 00:56:13,369
(exhales)

1046
00:56:13,371 --> 00:56:16,372
You like spy movies,
Mr. DeVere?

1047
00:56:16,374 --> 00:56:18,907
¶ ¶

1048
00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:22,444
Nowadays they're all a
little serious for my taste.

1049
00:56:22,446 --> 00:56:24,046
But the old ones...

1050
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,081
marvelous.

1051
00:56:26,083 --> 00:56:29,017
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.

1052
00:56:29,019 --> 00:56:30,419
The old Bond movies!

1053
00:56:30,421 --> 00:56:31,820
(chuckles): Oh, man!

1054
00:56:31,822 --> 00:56:36,024
Oh, when I was a kid,
that was my dream job:

1055
00:56:36,026 --> 00:56:37,893
gentleman spy.

1056
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:39,895
I always felt
the old Bond films

1057
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:41,997
were only as good
as the villain.

1058
00:56:41,999 --> 00:56:44,099
As a child,
I rather fancied a future

1059
00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:46,535
as a colorful megalomaniac.

1060
00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:51,673
What a shame
we both had to grow up.

1061
00:56:53,711 --> 00:56:55,177
(laughs softly)

1062
00:56:55,179 --> 00:56:57,546
Bon appétit.

1063
00:56:59,450 --> 00:57:02,684
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.

1064
00:57:02,686 --> 00:57:04,586
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours,

1065
00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:05,988
and it's all good.

1066
00:57:05,990 --> 00:57:09,792
And thank you for
such a... happy meal.

1067
00:57:09,794 --> 00:57:10,993
(laughs softly)

1068
00:57:14,865 --> 00:57:17,099
Well, want me to follow him?

1069
00:57:17,101 --> 00:57:20,569
Nah. I put a nano tracker
gel in the wine.

1070
00:57:20,571 --> 00:57:22,204
We'll know his every move

1071
00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:24,206
for the next 24 hours.

1072
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:27,009
Finally find out
who he works for.

1073
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:29,745
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.

1074
00:57:29,747 --> 00:57:31,213
All I got was this

1075
00:57:31,215 --> 00:57:34,016
on the way in.

1076
00:57:37,154 --> 00:57:38,620
South Glade Mission Church

1077
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,189
is a hate group
based in Kentucky.

1078
00:57:40,191 --> 00:57:42,758
FBI have been
monitoring them for years.

1079
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,827
But you think Valentine
is a supporter?

1080
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:46,595
No evidence yet
of a direct connection,

1081
00:57:46,597 --> 00:57:48,964
but I'll keep looking.

1082
00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:51,233
Oh, by the way,
our ever-growing list

1083
00:57:51,235 --> 00:57:53,535
of missing persons now includes

1084
00:57:53,537 --> 00:57:55,904
Scandinavian royalty.

1085
00:57:55,906 --> 00:57:58,240
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.

1086
00:58:00,177 --> 00:58:02,945
TILDE:
Just let me out...

1087
00:58:02,947 --> 00:58:05,647
you psycho!
I told you,
you're free to go

1088
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:09,051
any time you want, as long
as you agree to my conditions.

1089
00:58:09,053 --> 00:58:10,919
I don't agree,

1090
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:13,989
and I am never, ever
going to agree!

1091
00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:15,524
Tough shit.

1092
00:58:15,526 --> 00:58:16,825
Bitch.

1093
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:18,727
MAN (in distance):
Let me out! ...open up.

1094
00:58:18,729 --> 00:58:21,063
I want to speak
to the British consul!
(woman shouting)

1095
00:58:21,065 --> 00:58:23,065
NEWSWOMAN:
<i>The list of missing</i>
<i>celebrities and dignitaries</i>

1096
00:58:23,067 --> 00:58:25,934
<i>has continued to grow
in recent weeks,</i>

1097
00:58:25,936 --> 00:58:28,237
<i>and world leaders are coming
under increasing pressure</i>

1098
00:58:28,239 --> 00:58:29,972
<i>to provide answers.</i>

1099
00:58:29,974 --> 00:58:31,807
We are doing
everything in our power

1100
00:58:31,809 --> 00:58:33,542
to find Princess Tilde.

1101
00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:37,079
You know, governments
and security forces worldwide

1102
00:58:37,081 --> 00:58:40,983
are working together to find the
person behind these abductions.

1103
00:58:40,985 --> 00:58:43,151
NEWSWOMAN:
<i>In other news,</i>
<i>people all over the world</i>

1104
00:58:43,153 --> 00:58:45,521
<i>continue to wait in line
day and night</i>

1105
00:58:45,523 --> 00:58:47,155
<i>to get their free SIM cards.</i>

1106
00:58:47,157 --> 00:58:48,657
Uh, Mrs. P.

1107
00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:49,992
You get one?

1108
00:58:49,994 --> 00:58:52,895
Yeah... yeah,
I been queuing up all day.

1109
00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:54,162
NEWSWOMAN:
<i>This unprecedented giveaway</i>

1110
00:58:54,164 --> 00:58:55,898
<i>by the philanthropist</i>

1111
00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:58,233
Richmond Valentine
has already seen

1112
00:58:58,235 --> 00:59:00,068
over a billion cards
distributed.

1113
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:01,630
MERLIN:
At ease.

1114
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:06,108
So you thought
we were done for the day, huh?

1115
00:59:06,110 --> 00:59:08,944
Well, we're not.

1116
00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:10,579
A party?

1117
00:59:10,581 --> 00:59:11,813
Tonight, in London.

1118
00:59:11,815 --> 00:59:13,982
Who's this?

1119
00:59:13,984 --> 00:59:15,984
Your target.
Your mission

1120
00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:17,653
is to use your NLP training

1121
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:19,755
to win over the individual
in the photograph

1122
00:59:19,757 --> 00:59:20,856
in your envelope.

1123
00:59:20,858 --> 00:59:22,157
And when I say "win over,"

1124
00:59:22,159 --> 00:59:24,226
I do mean in the biblical sense.

1125
00:59:24,228 --> 00:59:25,627
Easy.

1126
00:59:25,629 --> 00:59:28,263
Posh girls love
a bit of rough.

1127
00:59:28,265 --> 00:59:30,265
We'll see
about that, yeah?

1128
00:59:30,267 --> 00:59:33,635
We certainly will.

1129
00:59:33,637 --> 00:59:37,339
(people chatting, music playing)

1130
00:59:37,341 --> 00:59:40,175
Hi. Sorry, I just had
to come over and say,

1131
00:59:40,177 --> 00:59:41,643
amazing eyes.

1132
00:59:41,645 --> 00:59:43,312
Are you wearing color contacts?

1133
00:59:43,314 --> 00:59:44,947
No! (laughs)

1134
00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,982
CHARLIE: You so are.
ROXY: Oh, my God, negging!

1135
00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:48,584
That's hilarious.

1136
00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:50,652
I haven't heard anyone
try that since the noughties.

1137
00:59:50,654 --> 00:59:51,887
Excuse me?

1138
00:59:51,889 --> 00:59:54,122
Negging.
Saying something negative

1139
00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:56,992
to a pretty girl in order to
undermine her social value.

1140
00:59:56,994 --> 00:59:59,161
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.

1141
00:59:59,163 --> 01:00:01,096
Absurdly basic,

1142
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:03,065
neuro-linguistic
programming technique.

1143
01:00:03,067 --> 01:00:05,100
Is it just me, or does
this champagne taste
a little bit funny?

1144
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,602
It's an acquired taste, mate.

1145
01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:08,003
I think
it's just cheap.

1146
01:00:08,005 --> 01:00:09,304
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.

1147
01:00:09,306 --> 01:00:10,872
You know, if you're
into seduction techniques,

1148
01:00:10,874 --> 01:00:12,874
this guy is textbook.
See what he just did?

1149
01:00:12,876 --> 01:00:13,909
It's called an opinion opener.

1150
01:00:13,911 --> 01:00:15,077
He got you talking

1151
01:00:15,079 --> 01:00:16,979
with a neutral question,
got all of us

1152
01:00:16,981 --> 01:00:18,714
involved in the conversation,
so that you

1153
01:00:18,716 --> 01:00:20,949
craved individual attention.
No, I'm just saying

1154
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,618
the champagne tastes rank.

1155
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:24,386
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring,
phone call for you

1156
01:00:24,388 --> 01:00:26,321
at reception.
Be right back.

1157
01:00:26,323 --> 01:00:29,257
We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
ROXY: See you in a bit.

1158
01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:31,226
Budge up, Rox.
I'm feeling a bit rough.

1159
01:00:31,228 --> 01:00:32,694
Are you all right?
No.

1160
01:00:32,696 --> 01:00:34,162
MAN:
Sorry to eavesdrop, but,

1161
01:00:34,164 --> 01:00:36,064
you know, there's
a much easier way to guarantee

1162
01:00:36,066 --> 01:00:37,833
getting someone home.

1163
01:00:37,835 --> 01:00:40,268
Rohypnol.

1164
01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:43,372
Or even something stronger.

1165
01:00:43,374 --> 01:00:46,375
(conversation and music
slows and distorts)

1166
01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:02,758
(slurred):
Who the fuck are you?

1167
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,860
Where am I?

1168
01:01:06,296 --> 01:01:08,330
This knife...

1169
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:10,332
can save your life, eh?

1170
01:01:12,069 --> 01:01:14,036
(train whistle blowing)

1171
01:01:14,038 --> 01:01:15,804
Fuck!

1172
01:01:15,806 --> 01:01:19,074
My employer's got
two questions for you, Eggsy:

1173
01:01:19,076 --> 01:01:21,109
What the fuck is Kingsman,

1174
01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:22,844
and who's Harry Hart?

1175
01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:24,946
I don't know
who the fuck that is!

1176
01:01:24,948 --> 01:01:26,948
Shit!
Oh, Eggsy, I just killed

1177
01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:29,785
two of your friends for giving
me the same bullshit answer!

1178
01:01:29,787 --> 01:01:31,219
Fuck!

1179
01:01:31,221 --> 01:01:34,322
Just cut
the fucking ropes, please!

1180
01:01:34,324 --> 01:01:35,390
MAN:
Hey, Eggsy!

1181
01:01:35,392 --> 01:01:36,992
Is Kingsman worth dying for?

1182
01:01:36,994 --> 01:01:38,727
(gasping):
F...

1183
01:01:38,729 --> 01:01:41,430
Fuck you...!

1184
01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:52,340
(whoosh)

1185
01:01:52,342 --> 01:01:54,242
(whirring)

1186
01:01:54,244 --> 01:01:56,244
Congratulations.

1187
01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:57,526
Bloody well done.

1188
01:01:58,449 --> 01:02:01,083
How'd the others do?

1189
01:02:01,085 --> 01:02:03,318
Roxy passed with flying colors.

1190
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,886
Charlie's up next.

1191
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:06,121
Want to watch?

1192
01:02:07,157 --> 01:02:08,990
Yeah, all right.

1193
01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:12,027
Oh, fuck.

1194
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:13,795
Is Kingsman
really worth dying for?

1195
01:02:13,797 --> 01:02:15,163
No, it fucking isn't!

1196
01:02:15,165 --> 01:02:16,965
Shit, I'll tell you
what you want. Please!

1197
01:02:16,967 --> 01:02:18,767
(panting):
Chester King is Arthur.

1198
01:02:18,769 --> 01:02:20,969
Arthur's head of a spy agency...
It's called Kingsman.

1199
01:02:20,971 --> 01:02:22,838
Get me out of here!
Thank you, Charlie.

1200
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,906
Much appreciated.
Come on!

1201
01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,775
That wasn't the fucking deal!

1202
01:02:26,777 --> 01:02:28,777
(screaming):
Fuck...!

1203
01:02:28,779 --> 01:02:30,512
Oh, fuck!

1204
01:02:30,514 --> 01:02:32,380
(whoosh)

1205
01:02:32,382 --> 01:02:34,182
(whirring)

1206
01:02:34,184 --> 01:02:36,051
(panting)

1207
01:02:36,053 --> 01:02:38,787
I had such
high hopes for you.

1208
01:02:38,789 --> 01:02:40,455
You're a bloody disgrace.

1209
01:02:40,457 --> 01:02:42,023
Arthur, I'm sorry.

1210
01:02:42,025 --> 01:02:44,126
At least untie me.

1211
01:02:44,128 --> 01:02:45,794
Untie yourself.

1212
01:02:47,331 --> 01:02:49,765
Arthur... Arthur, please.

1213
01:02:49,767 --> 01:02:53,535
CHARLIE: I'm the fucking son
of the... shit!

1214
01:02:53,537 --> 01:02:56,171
(shouting):
Anyone? Hello?

1215
01:02:56,173 --> 01:02:58,974
Galahad, Percival,
congratulations.

1216
01:02:58,976 --> 01:03:00,876
Your candidates
have reached the final stage

1217
01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:02,110
of the testing process.

1218
01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:03,512
As tradition allows,

1219
01:03:03,514 --> 01:03:05,847
you now have 24 hours
to spend with them.

1220
01:03:05,849 --> 01:03:07,249
Eggsy...

1221
01:03:07,251 --> 01:03:09,785
you should know your
father reached this point.

1222
01:03:09,787 --> 01:03:11,253
From now on,

1223
01:03:11,255 --> 01:03:13,215
there are no safety nets,
understood?

1224
01:03:17,060 --> 01:03:19,494
Good. Dismissed.

1225
01:03:21,031 --> 01:03:22,430
(echoing over speakers):
Charlie,

1226
01:03:22,432 --> 01:03:24,032
time to go home.

1227
01:03:24,034 --> 01:03:26,468
CHARLIE:
Fuck you!

1228
01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,430
Fucking Dad's
gonna hear about this!

1229
01:03:29,439 --> 01:03:31,339
EGGSY (voice-over):
<i>"To pee</i>

1230
01:03:31,341 --> 01:03:32,541
or not to pee?"

1231
01:03:32,543 --> 01:03:34,042
That was the headline
the day after

1232
01:03:34,044 --> 01:03:35,911
I defused a dirty bomb

1233
01:03:35,913 --> 01:03:37,479
in Paris.

1234
01:03:37,481 --> 01:03:39,314
EGGSY: "Germany - 1,
England - 5."

1235
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:40,882
Missed that game.

1236
01:03:40,884 --> 01:03:42,384
I was breaking up
an undercover spy ring

1237
01:03:42,386 --> 01:03:44,219
at the Pentagon.

1238
01:03:49,259 --> 01:03:50,492
My first mission.

1239
01:03:50,494 --> 01:03:52,360
Foiled the assassination

1240
01:03:52,362 --> 01:03:53,895
of Margaret Thatcher.

1241
01:03:53,897 --> 01:03:55,230
Not everybody'd thank you
for that one.

1242
01:03:55,232 --> 01:03:56,531
The point is, Eggsy,

1243
01:03:56,533 --> 01:03:58,400
nobody thanked me
for any of them.

1244
01:03:58,402 --> 01:04:00,602
Front page news
on all these occasions

1245
01:04:00,604 --> 01:04:02,170
was celebrity nonsense.

1246
01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:04,172
Because it's the
nature of Kingsman

1247
01:04:04,174 --> 01:04:06,208
that our achievements
remain secret.

1248
01:04:06,210 --> 01:04:08,510
A gentleman's name should
appear in the newspaper

1249
01:04:08,512 --> 01:04:10,345
only three times:
when he's born,

1250
01:04:10,347 --> 01:04:12,614
when he marries,
and when he dies.

1251
01:04:12,616 --> 01:04:16,084
And we are,
first and foremost, gentlemen.

1252
01:04:16,086 --> 01:04:17,619
That's me fucked, then.

1253
01:04:17,621 --> 01:04:19,855
Well, it's like
Charlie said...

1254
01:04:19,857 --> 01:04:21,957
I'm just a pleb.
Nonsense.
Being a gentleman

1255
01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:24,426
has nothing to do with the
circumstances of one's birth.

1256
01:04:24,428 --> 01:04:27,262
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.

1257
01:04:27,264 --> 01:04:29,931
Yeah, but how?

1258
01:04:29,933 --> 01:04:31,399
All right, first lesson.

1259
01:04:31,401 --> 01:04:33,501
You should have asked me
before you

1260
01:04:33,503 --> 01:04:35,003
took a seat.

1261
01:04:35,005 --> 01:04:36,504
Second lesson.

1262
01:04:36,506 --> 01:04:38,907
How to make a proper martini.

1263
01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:42,010
Yes, Harry.

1264
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,512
(quiet electrical buzzing)

1265
01:04:44,514 --> 01:04:46,114
Goddamn it!

1266
01:04:46,116 --> 01:04:47,582
This fucking hurts!

1267
01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:50,585
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.

1268
01:04:50,587 --> 01:04:51,953
What's wrong
with a simple switch?

1269
01:04:51,955 --> 01:04:54,322
A simple switch?!

1270
01:04:54,324 --> 01:04:56,458
This is an extremely
dangerous machine.

1271
01:04:56,460 --> 01:04:58,660
It should only be
operated by someone

1272
01:04:58,662 --> 01:05:01,429
as responsible
and sane as me.

1273
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:05,133
Bad shit can happen if this
falls into the wrong hands.

1274
01:05:05,135 --> 01:05:07,168
Whoa! (gasps)

1275
01:05:07,170 --> 01:05:09,037
We done here? Shit!

1276
01:05:09,039 --> 01:05:11,006
No. Now this one.

1277
01:05:11,008 --> 01:05:13,008
For the test at the church.

1278
01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:15,176
This one just has
a short range.

1279
01:05:15,178 --> 01:05:16,578
A simple switch will do.

1280
01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:24,152
So are you gonna teach me
how to talk proper,

1281
01:05:24,154 --> 01:05:25,520
like in<i> My Fair Lady?</i>

1282
01:05:25,522 --> 01:05:27,188
Don't be absurd.

1283
01:05:27,190 --> 01:05:30,091
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.

1284
01:05:30,093 --> 01:05:32,260
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.

1285
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,329
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble

1286
01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:36,698
"in being superior
to your fellow man.

1287
01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:40,535
True nobility is being superior
to your former self."

1288
01:05:43,340 --> 01:05:45,206
<i>Now...</i>

1289
01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:47,642
the first thing every gentleman
needs is a good suit.

1290
01:05:47,644 --> 01:05:49,644
By which I mean,
a bespoke suit.

1291
01:05:49,646 --> 01:05:51,179
Never off the peg.

1292
01:05:51,181 --> 01:05:52,714
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.

1293
01:05:52,716 --> 01:05:54,215
So let's get you measured,

1294
01:05:54,217 --> 01:05:55,984
and then, whether
you get the job

1295
01:05:55,986 --> 01:05:58,386
or not, you'll have
a lasting and...

1296
01:05:58,388 --> 01:06:01,356
useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.

1297
01:06:01,358 --> 01:06:02,691
I'm so sorry, sir,

1298
01:06:02,693 --> 01:06:05,060
but a gentleman is
completing his fitting.

1299
01:06:05,062 --> 01:06:07,429
Fitting room two is available.

1300
01:06:07,431 --> 01:06:09,264
One does
not use fitting room two

1301
01:06:09,266 --> 01:06:11,733
when one is popping
one's cherry.

1302
01:06:11,735 --> 01:06:14,035
Perhaps I'll show you
fitting room three

1303
01:06:14,037 --> 01:06:15,337
while we wait.

1304
01:06:24,348 --> 01:06:27,115
So we going up or down?

1305
01:06:27,117 --> 01:06:29,150
Neither.

1306
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,418
This it?

1307
01:06:30,420 --> 01:06:32,020
Of course not.

1308
01:06:32,022 --> 01:06:33,688
Pull the hook on your left.

1309
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:37,592
(clicking, whirring)

1310
01:06:40,097 --> 01:06:41,763
Ah, yes.

1311
01:06:41,765 --> 01:06:44,466
Very, very nice.

1312
01:06:47,537 --> 01:06:49,237
Now, you're going to
need a pair of shoes

1313
01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:50,405
to go with your suit.

1314
01:06:50,407 --> 01:06:52,574
An Oxford is any formal shoe

1315
01:06:52,576 --> 01:06:54,476
with open lacing.

1316
01:06:54,478 --> 01:06:57,712
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.

1317
01:06:57,714 --> 01:06:59,180
"Oxfords, not brogues."

1318
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:00,782
Words to live by, Eggsy.

1319
01:07:00,784 --> 01:07:02,283
Words to live by.

1320
01:07:02,285 --> 01:07:03,685
Try a pair.

1321
01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:06,287
Your weapon scores are
excellent, by the way.

1322
01:07:06,289 --> 01:07:07,389
(clicks tongue)

1323
01:07:07,391 --> 01:07:08,690
These you're familiar with.

1324
01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,592
And this is
our standard-issue pistol.

1325
01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:12,560
It's quite unique.
As you'll see, it also

1326
01:07:12,562 --> 01:07:13,762
fires a shotgun cartridge

1327
01:07:13,764 --> 01:07:16,064
for use in messy
close-range situations.

1328
01:07:16,066 --> 01:07:17,766
How do they feel?
Yeah, good.

1329
01:07:17,768 --> 01:07:19,167
Now do your very
best impersonation

1330
01:07:19,169 --> 01:07:21,249
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.

1331
01:07:23,573 --> 01:07:25,573
No, Eggsy.

1332
01:07:29,713 --> 01:07:31,713
That is sick.

1333
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:33,481
In the old days,
they had a phone

1334
01:07:33,483 --> 01:07:34,716
in the heel, as well.
How do I get it back in?

1335
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:36,518
Well, it's coated in one of

1336
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:39,454
the fastest-acting neurotoxins
known to man, so...

1337
01:07:39,456 --> 01:07:40,822
very carefully.

1338
01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:46,361
Now, I've had
a lot of fun with this.

1339
01:07:46,363 --> 01:07:49,230
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.

1340
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:50,698
A poison...

1341
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:52,567
Harmless when ingested,
but at a time

1342
01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:54,469
convenient to you,

1343
01:07:54,471 --> 01:07:57,238
can be... remotely activated.

1344
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:58,573
Primed.

1345
01:07:59,609 --> 01:08:01,109
Lethal.

1346
01:08:01,111 --> 01:08:03,278
And what about these?

1347
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:04,446
What do these do?

1348
01:08:04,448 --> 01:08:06,748
Electrocute you?
Don't be ridiculous.

1349
01:08:06,750 --> 01:08:08,850
It's a hand grenade.
Shut up.

1350
01:08:08,852 --> 01:08:11,386
You want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.

1351
01:08:11,388 --> 01:08:13,488
A gentleman traditionally wears
the signet on his left hand,

1352
01:08:13,490 --> 01:08:15,256
but a Kingsman wears it
on whichever hand

1353
01:08:15,258 --> 01:08:16,691
happens to be dominant.

1354
01:08:16,693 --> 01:08:18,259
Touch the contact
behind the ring,

1355
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:19,541
it delivers 50,000 volts.

1356
01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:22,797
And what about them?

1357
01:08:22,799 --> 01:08:24,866
What makes them so special?
Nothing.

1358
01:08:24,868 --> 01:08:27,802
That technology's caught up
with the spy world.

1359
01:08:27,804 --> 01:08:30,839
Put it back, Eggsy.

1360
01:08:32,209 --> 01:08:34,476
TAILOR:
<i>Ah, perfect timing.</i>

1361
01:08:34,478 --> 01:08:37,112
Gentleman's just finished.

1362
01:08:41,251 --> 01:08:42,851
Mr. DeVere!

1363
01:08:44,121 --> 01:08:46,254
What a coincidence!

1364
01:08:46,256 --> 01:08:49,624
You are totally
the reason I am here.

1365
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:52,160
When you left my house,
I was thirsting

1366
01:08:52,162 --> 01:08:54,863
for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on,

1367
01:08:54,865 --> 01:08:56,631
and since I'm going
to Royal Ascot,

1368
01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:58,800
and apparently you need one
of these penguin suits...

1369
01:08:58,802 --> 01:09:00,468
here I am.

1370
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:02,203
What are you doing here?

1371
01:09:02,205 --> 01:09:03,805
What's up, man?

1372
01:09:03,807 --> 01:09:04,906
Richmond Valentine.

1373
01:09:04,908 --> 01:09:06,508
This is my new valet.

1374
01:09:06,510 --> 01:09:08,476
I was just introducing him
to my tailor.

1375
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:09,611
Another coincidence.

1376
01:09:09,613 --> 01:09:11,412
So am I.

1377
01:09:11,414 --> 01:09:13,314
Have you had any chance to
think further on my proposal?

1378
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:14,883
Most definitely.

1379
01:09:14,885 --> 01:09:17,919
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.

1380
01:09:17,921 --> 01:09:20,155
I guarantee it.

1381
01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:21,823
A word of advice:

1382
01:09:21,825 --> 01:09:24,626
Ascot requires top hat.

1383
01:09:24,628 --> 01:09:27,195
I might suggest Lock & Co.

1384
01:09:27,197 --> 01:09:28,563
Hatters.

1385
01:09:28,565 --> 01:09:29,864
St. James's.

1386
01:09:29,866 --> 01:09:31,766
"Lox," as in smoked fish?

1387
01:09:31,768 --> 01:09:34,669
As in "locked up."

1388
01:09:34,671 --> 01:09:35,937
Oh.

1389
01:09:35,939 --> 01:09:37,705
(chuckles)

1390
01:09:37,707 --> 01:09:40,808
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.

1391
01:09:40,810 --> 01:09:43,311
You all talk so funny.

1392
01:09:49,219 --> 01:09:51,920
Gentlemen, would you
look after him, please?

1393
01:10:05,602 --> 01:10:07,335
Now, this...

1394
01:10:07,337 --> 01:10:09,571
is a dope-ass top hat.

1395
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:12,273
Gazelle!

1396
01:10:12,275 --> 01:10:13,741
Let's go ascoting.

1397
01:10:15,679 --> 01:10:17,612
VALENTINE (over speaker):
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.

1398
01:10:17,614 --> 01:10:19,981
Come on, don't make me late
for the queen.

1399
01:10:19,983 --> 01:10:22,250
Come on, Gazelle,

1400
01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:23,484
we're gonna be late.

1401
01:10:23,486 --> 01:10:25,286
How far is Ascot?

1402
01:10:25,288 --> 01:10:26,688
How far?

1403
01:10:29,526 --> 01:10:31,993
Merlin said you wanted
to see me, sir?

1404
01:10:31,995 --> 01:10:33,962
Sit down.

1405
01:10:35,232 --> 01:10:37,465
(J.B. panting loudly)

1406
01:10:38,768 --> 01:10:40,568
(J.B. barking)
Pretty dog.

1407
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:43,471
What's his name?
J.B.

1408
01:10:43,473 --> 01:10:45,773
As in James Bond?
No.

1409
01:10:45,775 --> 01:10:47,575
Jason Bourne?

1410
01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:49,711
No. Jack Bauer.

1411
01:10:49,713 --> 01:10:51,379
Oh!

1412
01:10:51,381 --> 01:10:52,747
Bravo.

1413
01:10:52,749 --> 01:10:54,582
It pains me
to admit it, Eggsy,

1414
01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:57,652
but I think that one day
you might be as good a spy

1415
01:10:57,654 --> 01:10:59,454
as any of them.

1416
01:11:05,362 --> 01:11:06,728
Take it.

1417
01:11:08,865 --> 01:11:10,898
(J.B. panting)

1418
01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:15,970
Shoot the dog.

1419
01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:17,939
¶ ¶

1420
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,945
This weapon is live.

1421
01:11:27,384 --> 01:11:29,284
Shoot the dog.

1422
01:12:03,053 --> 01:12:04,686
(sighs)

1423
01:12:04,688 --> 01:12:06,321
(chuckles softly)

1424
01:12:06,323 --> 01:12:07,922
Give me the gun.

1425
01:12:15,465 --> 01:12:17,498
(gunshot in distance)

1426
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:20,968
At least the girl's got balls.

1427
01:12:23,573 --> 01:12:25,707
Get out.

1428
01:12:25,709 --> 01:12:28,409
I knew you couldn't make it.

1429
01:12:31,481 --> 01:12:33,815
Go home.

1430
01:12:33,817 --> 01:12:35,450
Merlin,

1431
01:12:35,452 --> 01:12:37,452
send in Roxy, please.

1432
01:12:37,454 --> 01:12:38,454
(Eggsy panting)

1433
01:13:00,643 --> 01:13:02,377
Welcome...

1434
01:13:02,379 --> 01:13:04,612
to Kingsman...

1435
01:13:04,614 --> 01:13:06,047
Lancelot.

1436
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,521
¶ ¶

1437
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:30,605
(door opens in distance)
Mom?

1438
01:13:30,607 --> 01:13:32,073
Eggsy!

1439
01:13:32,075 --> 01:13:33,775
Oh, God, where have you been?

1440
01:13:33,777 --> 01:13:35,410
I've been so worried about you.

1441
01:13:35,412 --> 01:13:37,412
(kisses)

1442
01:13:37,414 --> 01:13:40,114
Oh, my days,
look how big you've grown.

1443
01:13:46,790 --> 01:13:48,956
Where is he?
I'm fine.

1444
01:13:48,958 --> 01:13:50,792
Eggsy, please, please,
just don't get involved.

1445
01:13:50,794 --> 01:13:52,860
Ma, I should never
have left you on your own.

1446
01:13:52,862 --> 01:13:54,862
This stops right now.

1447
01:13:54,864 --> 01:13:56,998
I'll be right back.
Eggsy...

1448
01:13:58,034 --> 01:14:00,067
(indistinct chatter)

1449
01:14:00,069 --> 01:14:01,836
Oi! Dean!

1450
01:14:01,838 --> 01:14:04,705
Oh, Mugsy.
So you're back.

1451
01:14:04,707 --> 01:14:06,741
What, you gone
and nicked a fucking taxi now?

1452
01:14:06,743 --> 01:14:08,209
Yeah. Can I have a word

1453
01:14:08,211 --> 01:14:09,877
about my mum's black eye?

1454
01:14:09,879 --> 01:14:12,847
You want to have a word with me?
You get out of that cab,

1455
01:14:12,849 --> 01:14:15,049
I'll knock you straight
back down on your fucking arse.

1456
01:14:15,051 --> 01:14:16,784
(raspy laugh)

1457
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:19,153
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.

1458
01:14:20,223 --> 01:14:21,989
Go on, lads.

1459
01:14:21,991 --> 01:14:23,591
There'll be two hits:

1460
01:14:23,593 --> 01:14:25,760
me hitting him;
him hitting the floor.

1461
01:14:25,762 --> 01:14:26,894
Come on, then,

1462
01:14:26,896 --> 01:14:28,696
you prick, let's see

1463
01:14:28,698 --> 01:14:30,631
what you got, eh?
Want a bit of me?

1464
01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,033
What are you doing?
What the fuck?

1465
01:14:32,035 --> 01:14:33,601
Get out of the fucking car!
No, no! Come on!

1466
01:14:33,603 --> 01:14:35,736
What are you doing?
What are you doing, you mug!

1467
01:14:35,738 --> 01:14:37,004
Go on!
You got no bollocks!

1468
01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:39,907
Come on, bruv,
he hit my fucking mum!

1469
01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:42,510
Come back when you've
grown a pair! Mugsy!

1470
01:14:42,512 --> 01:14:43,811
(panting)

1471
01:15:04,100 --> 01:15:06,234
HARRY:
You throw away

1472
01:15:06,236 --> 01:15:08,269
your biggest opportunity

1473
01:15:08,271 --> 01:15:10,638
over a fucking dog.

1474
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:13,808
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.

1475
01:15:13,810 --> 01:15:16,577
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.

1476
01:15:16,579 --> 01:15:17,778
Yes, I did.

1477
01:15:19,649 --> 01:15:22,016
And Mr. Pickle here
reminds me of that

1478
01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:24,185
every time I take a shit.

1479
01:15:25,722 --> 01:15:28,589
You shot your dog
and had it stuffed?

1480
01:15:28,591 --> 01:15:29,924
You fucking freak.

1481
01:15:29,926 --> 01:15:31,626
No, I shot my dog, and then

1482
01:15:31,628 --> 01:15:33,761
I brought him home
and continued to care for him

1483
01:15:33,763 --> 01:15:35,863
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.

1484
01:15:35,865 --> 01:15:37,031
What?!

1485
01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:40,167
It was a blank, Eggsy.

1486
01:15:40,169 --> 01:15:42,837
It was a fucking blank.

1487
01:15:42,839 --> 01:15:44,839
Remember Amelia?
Yeah.

1488
01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:46,541
She didn't drown.

1489
01:15:46,543 --> 01:15:49,143
She works in our tech department
in Berlin; she's fine.

1490
01:15:49,145 --> 01:15:50,878
Limits must be tested.
A Kingsman

1491
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,614
only condones the risking
of a life to save another.

1492
01:15:53,616 --> 01:15:56,317
Like my dad saved your life even
though your fuck-up cost his.

1493
01:15:56,319 --> 01:15:58,879
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?

1494
01:15:59,722 --> 01:16:01,756
Can't you see that
everything I've done

1495
01:16:01,758 --> 01:16:03,624
has been about trying
to repay him?

1496
01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:08,229
(quiet beeping)

1497
01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:11,098
MERLIN:
Harry, listen to this.

1498
01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:13,067
Valentine's at last
saying something of note.

1499
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,770
VALENTINE (over speaker):
Know what I love
about pen and paper?

1500
01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:18,739
Nobody can hack into this shit.

1501
01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:22,209
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.

1502
01:16:22,211 --> 01:16:25,146
We... have total coverall.

1503
01:16:25,148 --> 01:16:27,848
Like when all your numbers
in bingo are crossed out.

1504
01:16:27,850 --> 01:16:29,150
GAZELLE:
Bingo?

1505
01:16:29,152 --> 01:16:30,685
Bingo. The game.

1506
01:16:30,687 --> 01:16:32,687
You have played
bingo, right?

1507
01:16:32,689 --> 01:16:35,249
Do I look like
I play bingo?

1508
01:16:36,893 --> 01:16:38,626
Point is...

1509
01:16:38,628 --> 01:16:40,194
if our tests go well

1510
01:16:40,196 --> 01:16:41,762
(over speaker):
at the church tomorrow,

1511
01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,864
we are good to go.

1512
01:16:43,866 --> 01:16:46,634
South Glade Mission Church.

1513
01:16:46,636 --> 01:16:49,637
Merlin, get the plane ready.
(over radio): Will do.

1514
01:16:49,639 --> 01:16:51,272
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do ev...

1515
01:16:51,274 --> 01:16:53,307
You should be.
You just stay right there.

1516
01:16:53,309 --> 01:16:54,942
I'll sort this mess out
when I get back.

1517
01:17:00,683 --> 01:17:03,150
CHURCH LEADER:
And I say to you, bear witness!

1518
01:17:03,152 --> 01:17:05,853
(congregation shouting)
Watch the news.

1519
01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:08,122
MAN: You preach!
Watch the news... AIDS!

1520
01:17:08,124 --> 01:17:10,124
MAN 2: That's right!
Floods!

1521
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:12,193
The blood of the innocent
spilled!

1522
01:17:12,195 --> 01:17:15,096
And yet,
there are those who doubt

1523
01:17:15,098 --> 01:17:17,665
this is the wrath of God.

1524
01:17:17,667 --> 01:17:19,200
(shouting)

1525
01:17:19,202 --> 01:17:23,037
Our filthy government
condones sodomy,

1526
01:17:23,039 --> 01:17:24,705
divorce...

1527
01:17:24,707 --> 01:17:26,207
abortion...

1528
01:17:26,209 --> 01:17:28,743
and yet, some still doubt

1529
01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:31,345
this is the work
of the Antichrist!

1530
01:17:31,347 --> 01:17:34,348
(people shouting)
You do not have to be a Jew,

1531
01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:35,950
a nigger, a whore,

1532
01:17:35,952 --> 01:17:38,052
Praise the Lord! Amen!
Or a atheistic,

1533
01:17:38,054 --> 01:17:40,888
science-lovin'
evolution spouter...

1534
01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:42,723
MERLIN (over radio):
Charming sermon.

1535
01:17:42,725 --> 01:17:44,692
Can you see Valentine anywhere?

1536
01:17:44,694 --> 01:17:46,060
CHURCH LEADER:
So, my friends,

1537
01:17:46,062 --> 01:17:47,695
although he is a just God,

1538
01:17:47,697 --> 01:17:49,230
he is justly

1539
01:17:49,232 --> 01:17:50,297
(distant):
a vengeful one,

1540
01:17:50,299 --> 01:17:52,333
and there can be
no turning back

1541
01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:54,035
(over speaker):
from the Almighty...

1542
01:17:54,037 --> 01:17:55,870
You sure we're out of range?

1543
01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:57,772
We're over a thousand feet away.
What's wrong?

1544
01:17:57,774 --> 01:17:59,140
What if the calculations
are wrong?

1545
01:17:59,142 --> 01:18:00,841
You just have to trust me.

1546
01:18:00,843 --> 01:18:01,976
(church leader continues)

1547
01:18:01,978 --> 01:18:04,311
...Jew, nigger, fag-lovers,

1548
01:18:04,313 --> 01:18:06,681
and the Devil is burning them

1549
01:18:06,683 --> 01:18:07,948
for all eternity!

1550
01:18:07,950 --> 01:18:09,216
Would you excuse me?

1551
01:18:09,218 --> 01:18:10,918
Where are you going?

1552
01:18:11,921 --> 01:18:13,788
Hey. What's your problem?

1553
01:18:13,790 --> 01:18:16,323
I'm a Catholic whore

1554
01:18:16,325 --> 01:18:18,426
currently enjoying
congress out of wedlock

1555
01:18:18,428 --> 01:18:20,361
with my black,
Jewish boyfriend

1556
01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:23,164
who works in a military
abortion clinic.

1557
01:18:23,166 --> 01:18:25,199
So, hail Satan,

1558
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:27,268
and have a lovely
afternoon, madam.

1559
01:18:27,270 --> 01:18:29,837
CHURCH LEADER: ...he may,
in fact, use us...

1560
01:18:29,839 --> 01:18:32,173
VALENTINE:
Oh, shit. He's leaving.

1561
01:18:32,175 --> 01:18:33,908
I'm starting the test now.

1562
01:18:33,910 --> 01:18:36,310
Let's hope enough of these
freaks have our SIM cards.

1563
01:18:36,312 --> 01:18:38,879
(church leader continues
over speaker)

1564
01:18:38,881 --> 01:18:41,015
CHURCH LEADER:
Might I ask you to sit down,

1565
01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:43,350
my friend!
WOMAN: Just leave this church!

1566
01:18:43,352 --> 01:18:45,853
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!

1567
01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:48,255
(angry shouting continues)

1568
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:49,824
WOMAN:
Satan cannot save you now!

1569
01:18:49,826 --> 01:18:51,759
You will eat your babies!

1570
01:18:51,761 --> 01:18:54,762
You will drown
in the blood of the Lord!

1571
01:18:54,764 --> 01:18:58,899
(high-pitched whirring)
He will not save you!

1572
01:18:58,901 --> 01:19:01,802
(whirring growing louder)

1573
01:19:02,939 --> 01:19:04,071
Holy fuck!

1574
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,439
(shouting, screaming)

1575
01:19:05,441 --> 01:19:06,741
Aw, shit, I can't watch this.

1576
01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:08,023
Get over here.

1577
01:19:15,752 --> 01:19:17,985
¶ ¶

1578
01:19:27,263 --> 01:19:29,230
¶ ¶

1579
01:19:43,780 --> 01:19:44,780
(gun clicks)

1580
01:19:49,986 --> 01:19:52,019
Geez! Fuck.

1581
01:19:52,021 --> 01:19:55,022
MERLIN (over radio):
Galahad, can you hear me?

1582
01:19:55,024 --> 01:19:56,223
Harry!

1583
01:19:56,225 --> 01:19:59,160
Harry, what the heck
is going on?

1584
01:19:59,162 --> 01:20:01,529
Could you turn
the volume down, please?

1585
01:20:03,099 --> 01:20:05,199
I didn't expect it
to be that effective.

1586
01:20:05,201 --> 01:20:06,333
What kind of response
are we talking?

1587
01:20:06,335 --> 01:20:09,203
GAZELLE:
A hundred percent.

1588
01:20:09,205 --> 01:20:10,471
VALENTINE:
So everyone's been affected,

1589
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:12,339
whether they have
a SIM card or not.

1590
01:20:12,341 --> 01:20:15,009
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.

1591
01:20:15,011 --> 01:20:17,378
Not yet.

1592
01:20:17,380 --> 01:20:19,346
¶ ¶

1593
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,967
¶ ¶

1594
01:20:42,538 --> 01:20:44,605
(screaming)

1595
01:20:48,578 --> 01:20:50,578
(grunting)

1596
01:20:50,580 --> 01:20:52,546
¶ ¶

1597
01:21:04,327 --> 01:21:05,559
(click)

1598
01:21:10,900 --> 01:21:12,233
(quietly):
Fuck!

1599
01:21:12,235 --> 01:21:13,534
Oh, you need to see this.

1600
01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:20,307
¶ ¶

1601
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:35,956
(explosion thunders)

1602
01:21:38,995 --> 01:21:40,961
¶ ¶

1603
01:21:49,171 --> 01:21:50,171
(gunshots)

1604
01:22:08,057 --> 01:22:10,024
¶ ¶

1605
01:22:21,003 --> 01:22:23,304
(panting heavily)

1606
01:22:39,422 --> 01:22:43,223
¶ ¶

1607
01:22:51,367 --> 01:22:53,334
¶ ¶

1608
01:23:02,611 --> 01:23:04,611
(guns cocking)

1609
01:23:10,186 --> 01:23:12,553
HARRY:
What did you do to me?

1610
01:23:12,555 --> 01:23:15,155
I had no control.

1611
01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:17,324
I killed all those people.

1612
01:23:19,295 --> 01:23:20,494
I wanted to.

1613
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:21,695
Clever, isn't it?

1614
01:23:21,697 --> 01:23:24,331
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave

1615
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:26,467
that triggers
the centers of aggression

1616
01:23:26,469 --> 01:23:28,669
and switches off inhibitors.

1617
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:31,605
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.

1618
01:23:34,377 --> 01:23:36,677
Do you know what
this is like?

1619
01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:40,414
It's like those
old movies we both love.

1620
01:23:40,416 --> 01:23:43,617
Now I'm gonna tell you my
whole plan, and then I'm gonna

1621
01:23:43,619 --> 01:23:47,154
come up with some absurd and
convoluted way to kill you,

1622
01:23:47,156 --> 01:23:49,690
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.

1623
01:23:49,692 --> 01:23:52,326
Sounds good to me.

1624
01:23:52,328 --> 01:23:54,661
Well, this ain't
that kind of movie.

1625
01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:01,335
No...!

1626
01:24:01,337 --> 01:24:03,170
¶ ¶

1627
01:24:04,240 --> 01:24:06,173
(gasping quietly)

1628
01:24:09,078 --> 01:24:11,311
VALENTINE:
Is he dead?

1629
01:24:11,313 --> 01:24:13,714
That tends to happen when you
shoot someone in the head.

1630
01:24:13,716 --> 01:24:16,583
It feels good, right?
No, no,
it does not feel good.

1631
01:24:16,585 --> 01:24:18,585
It feels fucking awful.
What?! You just killed

1632
01:24:18,587 --> 01:24:20,087
how many people in that church?

1633
01:24:20,089 --> 01:24:22,089
This is one guy.
No, no, no,

1634
01:24:22,091 --> 01:24:24,658
they killed each other.

1635
01:24:24,660 --> 01:24:28,262
Okay, send out
the countdown clock.

1636
01:24:28,264 --> 01:24:29,696
This party starts...

1637
01:24:29,698 --> 01:24:31,065
tomorrow.

1638
01:24:32,668 --> 01:24:34,635
¶ ¶

1639
01:24:38,307 --> 01:24:40,274
(trembling breath)

1640
01:24:46,682 --> 01:24:48,649
¶ ¶

1641
01:25:02,098 --> 01:25:03,530
(sighs)

1642
01:25:05,468 --> 01:25:06,800
Arthur?

1643
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,704
Are you there?

1644
01:25:10,706 --> 01:25:13,240
(over speaker):
Sadly, I am.

1645
01:25:13,242 --> 01:25:15,609
Assemble the Kingsmen.

1646
01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:18,779
(panting)

1647
01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,783
HARRY:
<i>Can't you see that</i>
<i>everything I've done</i>

1648
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:25,486
<i>has been about
trying to repay him?</i>

1649
01:25:27,756 --> 01:25:30,124
(continues panting)

1650
01:25:30,126 --> 01:25:31,892
¶ ¶

1651
01:25:45,341 --> 01:25:47,708
HARRY:
<i>I see a young man</i>
<i>with potential,</i>

1652
01:25:47,710 --> 01:25:50,844
<i>who wants to do something good
with his life.</i>

1653
01:25:52,348 --> 01:25:54,314
¶ ¶

1654
01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:59,286
(tires screech)

1655
01:26:07,163 --> 01:26:08,529
Arthur,

1656
01:26:08,531 --> 01:26:10,264
Harry's dead.

1657
01:26:10,266 --> 01:26:11,632
Galahad...

1658
01:26:11,634 --> 01:26:12,933
is dead.

1659
01:26:12,935 --> 01:26:15,802
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.

1660
01:26:15,804 --> 01:26:18,305
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.

1661
01:26:18,307 --> 01:26:21,175
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?

1662
01:26:21,177 --> 01:26:23,944
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.

1663
01:26:23,946 --> 01:26:25,646
If they all go homicidal
at the same time, then...

1664
01:26:25,648 --> 01:26:27,181
Indeed.

1665
01:26:27,183 --> 01:26:29,216
And thanks to
Galahad's recordings,

1666
01:26:29,218 --> 01:26:31,451
we have Valentine's confession.

1667
01:26:31,453 --> 01:26:33,453
The intelligence
has been passed on

1668
01:26:33,455 --> 01:26:35,289
to the relevant authorities.

1669
01:26:35,291 --> 01:26:36,890
Our work is complete,

1670
01:26:36,892 --> 01:26:39,693
and a most distinguished
legacy for our fallen friend,

1671
01:26:39,695 --> 01:26:41,828
it is, too.

1672
01:26:41,830 --> 01:26:43,564
And that's it?

1673
01:26:43,566 --> 01:26:45,799
Come and sit down, boy.

1674
01:26:48,771 --> 01:26:50,771
This...

1675
01:26:50,773 --> 01:26:54,841
is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy,

1676
01:26:54,843 --> 01:26:58,612
and we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.

1677
01:26:58,614 --> 01:27:02,282
Galahad was very
fond of you.

1678
01:27:04,453 --> 01:27:06,954
And on this occasion,
I think it's acceptable

1679
01:27:06,956 --> 01:27:08,555
for us...

1680
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,357
to bend the rules a little.

1681
01:27:12,561 --> 01:27:13,927
Are these all Kingsmen?

1682
01:27:13,929 --> 01:27:16,863
ARTHUR: Yes,
they're, uh, founder members.

1683
01:27:16,865 --> 01:27:19,766
I want you to join
me in a toast.

1684
01:27:22,004 --> 01:27:24,004
To Galahad.

1685
01:27:24,006 --> 01:27:26,306
To Galahad.

1686
01:27:30,246 --> 01:27:33,447
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.

1687
01:27:33,449 --> 01:27:35,015
Why now?

1688
01:27:35,017 --> 01:27:36,783
You're very good, Eggsy.

1689
01:27:36,785 --> 01:27:40,587
Perhaps I will make you my
proposal for Galahad's position.

1690
01:27:40,589 --> 01:27:43,790
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye

1691
01:27:43,792 --> 01:27:46,493
on certain political matters.

1692
01:27:47,563 --> 01:27:49,863
Can you guess...

1693
01:27:49,865 --> 01:27:51,598
(quiet electronic whirr)

1694
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,367
...what this is?

1695
01:27:53,369 --> 01:27:55,469
I don't have to;
Harry showed me.

1696
01:27:55,471 --> 01:27:56,903
You click it, I die.

1697
01:27:56,905 --> 01:27:58,972
I thought that brandy tasted
a bit shit.

1698
01:27:58,974 --> 01:28:00,407
(chuckles)

1699
01:28:00,409 --> 01:28:01,675
Bravo.

1700
01:28:01,677 --> 01:28:04,278
Valentine won you over...

1701
01:28:04,280 --> 01:28:05,646
somehow.

1702
01:28:05,648 --> 01:28:07,748
Once he explained, I understood.

1703
01:28:07,750 --> 01:28:09,783
VALENTINE:
<i>When you get a virus,</i>

1704
01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:11,351
you get a fever.

1705
01:28:11,353 --> 01:28:13,820
That's the human body
raising its core temperature

1706
01:28:13,822 --> 01:28:15,622
to kill the virus.

1707
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:17,958
Planet Earth works
the same way.

1708
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:20,327
Global warming is the fever.

1709
01:28:20,329 --> 01:28:22,863
Mankind is the virus.

1710
01:28:22,865 --> 01:28:25,565
We're making our planet sick.

1711
01:28:25,567 --> 01:28:28,035
A cull is our only hope.

1712
01:28:28,037 --> 01:28:30,537
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves,

1713
01:28:30,539 --> 01:28:33,473
there's only one
of two ways this can go.

1714
01:28:33,475 --> 01:28:37,544
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.

1715
01:28:37,546 --> 01:28:39,913
Either way...
ARTHUR:<i> The result</i>

1716
01:28:39,915 --> 01:28:41,682
is the same.

1717
01:28:41,684 --> 01:28:43,583
The virus dies.

1718
01:28:43,585 --> 01:28:45,786
So Valentine's gonna take care

1719
01:28:45,788 --> 01:28:47,954
of the population problem
himself.

1720
01:28:47,956 --> 01:28:50,791
Well, if we don't do
something, nature will.

1721
01:28:50,793 --> 01:28:52,626
Sometimes a culling
is the only way

1722
01:28:52,628 --> 01:28:55,629
to ensure that this
species survives.

1723
01:28:55,631 --> 01:28:57,531
And history will see Valentine

1724
01:28:57,533 --> 01:29:00,534
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.

1725
01:29:00,536 --> 01:29:03,537
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?

1726
01:29:03,539 --> 01:29:05,539
All his rich mates,
they get to live,

1727
01:29:05,541 --> 01:29:07,107
and anyone he thinks
is worth saving,

1728
01:29:07,109 --> 01:29:08,608
he's keeping them safe,

1729
01:29:08,610 --> 01:29:10,610
whether they agree
with him or not.

1730
01:29:10,612 --> 01:29:12,879
And you... Eggsy.

1731
01:29:12,881 --> 01:29:15,582
In Harry's honor,

1732
01:29:15,584 --> 01:29:19,553
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.

1733
01:29:21,657 --> 01:29:24,591
It's time to make your decision.

1734
01:29:31,100 --> 01:29:33,567
I'd rather be with Harry.

1735
01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:34,968
Thanks.

1736
01:29:34,970 --> 01:29:36,770
So be it.

1737
01:29:48,083 --> 01:29:49,816
(panting)

1738
01:29:49,818 --> 01:29:51,084
(grunts)

1739
01:29:51,086 --> 01:29:52,652
(groans)

1740
01:29:52,654 --> 01:29:56,757
The problem with us
common types is...

1741
01:29:56,759 --> 01:29:58,892
that we're light-fingered.

1742
01:29:58,894 --> 01:30:01,561
Kingsman's taught me
a lot, but...

1743
01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:02,763
sleight of hand...

1744
01:30:02,765 --> 01:30:05,132
Yes, they're, uh,
founder members.

1745
01:30:05,134 --> 01:30:06,933
(panting)

1746
01:30:06,935 --> 01:30:09,069
...I had that down already.

1747
01:30:09,071 --> 01:30:10,971
(continues panting)

1748
01:30:10,973 --> 01:30:14,074
You dirty little

1749
01:30:14,076 --> 01:30:16,676
fucking... prick.

1750
01:30:37,065 --> 01:30:39,433
(electronic chime)

1751
01:30:50,446 --> 01:30:52,712
It's okay, Lancelot.
Put it down.

1752
01:30:52,714 --> 01:30:54,481
It's verified.

1753
01:30:57,219 --> 01:30:58,852
Arthur's phone is
receiving update texts

1754
01:30:58,854 --> 01:31:00,954
about getting to safety...
We don't have a lot of time.

1755
01:31:00,956 --> 01:31:02,189
What are you gonna do?

1756
01:31:02,191 --> 01:31:04,090
Question is,
what are we gonna do?

1757
01:31:04,092 --> 01:31:07,561
God knows who's in Valentine's
pocket and who's not.

1758
01:31:07,563 --> 01:31:09,963
We have no choice.

1759
01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:12,732
We're gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.

1760
01:31:15,904 --> 01:31:17,604
Follow me.

1761
01:31:17,606 --> 01:31:20,040
¶ ¶

1762
01:31:35,591 --> 01:31:37,858
What the fuck is this?

1763
01:31:37,860 --> 01:31:39,893
I have no idea.

1764
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:41,895
What you're playing with

1765
01:31:41,897 --> 01:31:43,830
is a prototype personal
trans-atmospheric vehicle.

1766
01:31:43,832 --> 01:31:45,832
It was developed
as part of Reagan's

1767
01:31:45,834 --> 01:31:47,267
Star Wars project.

1768
01:31:47,269 --> 01:31:50,237
It's pretty basic,
but... it should still work.

1769
01:31:50,239 --> 01:31:52,939
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.

1770
01:31:52,941 --> 01:31:55,041
We're gonna break the
chain, stop the signal.

1771
01:31:55,043 --> 01:31:57,677
It'll take him a couple
of hours to reroute it,

1772
01:31:57,679 --> 01:31:59,813
which buys us enough time

1773
01:31:59,815 --> 01:32:02,816
for you to get me into
Valentine's mainframe so I can

1774
01:32:02,818 --> 01:32:04,050
shut it down.

1775
01:32:04,052 --> 01:32:05,619
Lancelot,

1776
01:32:05,621 --> 01:32:07,153
you're gonna be using it.

1777
01:32:07,155 --> 01:32:09,256
Get into your halo suit.

1778
01:32:10,626 --> 01:32:12,592
¶ ¶

1779
01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:21,568
PILOT (over radio):
<i>Swedish Prime Minister,</i>

1780
01:32:21,570 --> 01:32:22,936
<i>requesting permission to land.</i>

1781
01:32:28,777 --> 01:32:31,077
MAN (over radio):
<i>Permission granted.</i>

1782
01:32:34,249 --> 01:32:35,282
Please.

1783
01:32:35,284 --> 01:32:36,983
Thank you.

1784
01:32:36,985 --> 01:32:38,051
VALENTINE: So, how many more
are we expecting?

1785
01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:39,053
GAZELLE:
Not many.

1786
01:32:39,054 --> 01:32:40,654
Most have their own bunkers.

1787
01:32:40,656 --> 01:32:44,090
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.

1788
01:32:44,092 --> 01:32:46,726
WOMAN:
Welcome, Prime Minister.

1789
01:32:46,728 --> 01:32:48,728
MERLIN:
<i>It seems the implant</i>

1790
01:32:48,730 --> 01:32:50,730
can emit some kind
of counter signal

1791
01:32:50,732 --> 01:32:52,566
to ensure the wearer
remains unaffected

1792
01:32:52,568 --> 01:32:54,167
by the waves from
the SIM cards.

1793
01:32:54,169 --> 01:32:55,669
The waves that turn everyone

1794
01:32:55,671 --> 01:32:57,671
into a psycho killer.
Quite.

1795
01:32:57,673 --> 01:32:59,606
But what he probably
didn't tell anyone

1796
01:32:59,608 --> 01:33:03,343
is it can also super-heat their
soft tissue at his command.

1797
01:33:03,345 --> 01:33:05,612
Valentine selected
his chosen few

1798
01:33:05,614 --> 01:33:08,782
to get the countdown warning,
but he had to be sure

1799
01:33:08,784 --> 01:33:11,217
they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.

1800
01:33:11,219 --> 01:33:13,320
How does this help us
right now?

1801
01:33:13,322 --> 01:33:14,988
It doesn't.

1802
01:33:14,990 --> 01:33:16,790
Roxy! Here we go!

1803
01:33:16,792 --> 01:33:18,758
¶ ¶

1804
01:33:29,304 --> 01:33:33,306
MERLIN: The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.

1805
01:33:33,308 --> 01:33:37,744
When you reach the edge of
the atmosphere, they'll explode.

1806
01:33:37,746 --> 01:33:39,179
You'll need to deploy your
missile just before that, okay?

1807
01:33:39,181 --> 01:33:40,981
The edge of the atmosphere.

1808
01:33:40,983 --> 01:33:42,315
Once you've deployed,

1809
01:33:42,317 --> 01:33:44,718
you'll need to release
for descent fast.

1810
01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:46,119
Good luck.

1811
01:33:48,857 --> 01:33:51,224
You can do this, okay?
Yeah.

1812
01:33:51,226 --> 01:33:54,127
Eggsy, come on!
Time is not our friend.

1813
01:33:55,664 --> 01:33:57,697
(breathing anxiously)

1814
01:33:57,699 --> 01:34:00,000
¶ ¶

1815
01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:08,675
(anxious breathing continues)

1816
01:34:15,751 --> 01:34:17,884
MERLIN:
<i>You're getting in</i>
<i>on Arthur's invitation.</i>

1817
01:34:17,886 --> 01:34:20,086
You're gonna need to blend in.

1818
01:34:20,088 --> 01:34:23,223
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
His invitation's in his phone.

1819
01:34:23,225 --> 01:34:24,658
Give them this.

1820
01:34:24,660 --> 01:34:26,026
Give his real name:
Chester King.

1821
01:34:26,028 --> 01:34:27,160
What about you?

1822
01:34:27,162 --> 01:34:28,862
I'm your pilot...
I'm gonna stay here.

1823
01:34:28,864 --> 01:34:30,363
Is that gonna fit me?

1824
01:34:30,365 --> 01:34:31,965
A bespoke suit...

1825
01:34:31,967 --> 01:34:33,733
always fits.

1826
01:34:33,735 --> 01:34:35,735
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.

1827
01:34:35,737 --> 01:34:37,671
Get dressed.

1828
01:34:37,673 --> 01:34:38,872
What the fuck's wrong with them?

1829
01:34:38,874 --> 01:34:41,174
I don't know.

1830
01:34:41,176 --> 01:34:43,143
Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.

1831
01:34:43,145 --> 01:34:44,377
Give me the mic.

1832
01:34:46,982 --> 01:34:48,848
Hey-oh!

1833
01:34:48,850 --> 01:34:50,250
Everybody, listen up!

1834
01:34:50,252 --> 01:34:51,951
Hello, hello!

1835
01:34:51,953 --> 01:34:54,087
What the fuck is wrong
with you people?

1836
01:34:54,089 --> 01:34:57,257
I just want to remind you
that today

1837
01:34:57,259 --> 01:34:59,893
is a day of celebration.

1838
01:34:59,895 --> 01:35:04,264
We must put aside
all thoughts of death

1839
01:35:04,266 --> 01:35:06,199
and focus on birth.

1840
01:35:06,201 --> 01:35:09,803
The birth of a new age.

1841
01:35:09,805 --> 01:35:15,442
<i>We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.</i>

1842
01:35:15,444 --> 01:35:18,011
<i>We should honor
their sacrifice...</i>

1843
01:35:18,013 --> 01:35:20,146
Has she got my number to
call me back? I got a new phone.

1844
01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,450
VALENTINE: <i>...and their roles
in saving the human race.</i>

1845
01:35:23,452 --> 01:35:25,719
(indistinct conversations)
(cameras clicking)

1846
01:35:25,721 --> 01:35:30,790
<i>We must put aside
doubt and guilt.</i>

1847
01:35:30,792 --> 01:35:35,929
You are the chosen people.

1848
01:35:35,931 --> 01:35:38,865
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark

1849
01:35:38,867 --> 01:35:41,735
is Noah the bad guy?
GROUP: No!

1850
01:35:41,737 --> 01:35:43,870
Is God the bad guy?

1851
01:35:43,872 --> 01:35:44,904
GROUP:
No!

1852
01:35:44,906 --> 01:35:46,239
How about the animals marching

1853
01:35:46,241 --> 01:35:48,041
two by two?
No!

1854
01:35:48,043 --> 01:35:49,142
Of course not!

1855
01:35:49,144 --> 01:35:50,276
(laughs)

1856
01:35:50,278 --> 01:35:51,478
Yeah, that's it!

1857
01:35:51,480 --> 01:35:55,782
Let's turn those frowns
upside down.

1858
01:35:55,784 --> 01:35:57,484
Eat, drink

1859
01:35:57,486 --> 01:36:02,355
and party...!

1860
01:36:02,357 --> 01:36:04,958
And I will see you all
in the new age.

1861
01:36:07,829 --> 01:36:10,764
¶ ¶

1862
01:36:29,951 --> 01:36:31,951
EGGSY (over radio):
Rox, It's me.

1863
01:36:31,953 --> 01:36:34,120
How's the view?

1864
01:36:36,892 --> 01:36:37,892
Hideous.

1865
01:36:37,893 --> 01:36:39,125
Mine's pretty sweet.

1866
01:36:39,127 --> 01:36:40,860
They made you
one of these suits yet?

1867
01:36:40,862 --> 01:36:42,195
(over radio):
No, not yet.

1868
01:36:42,197 --> 01:36:44,531
You've got something
to look forward to then.

1869
01:36:44,533 --> 01:36:46,366
We're coming up
on Valentine's base.

1870
01:36:46,368 --> 01:36:48,935
Gotta go.

1871
01:36:48,937 --> 01:36:50,904
Good luck.

1872
01:36:57,245 --> 01:36:58,812
Looking good, Eggsy.

1873
01:37:00,882 --> 01:37:04,217
Feeling good, Merlin.

1874
01:37:09,324 --> 01:37:11,157
MERLIN (over radio):
<i>This is November-</i>
<i>2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo,</i>

1875
01:37:11,159 --> 01:37:13,126
requesting permission to land.

1876
01:37:15,497 --> 01:37:19,232
MAN (over radio):
<i>Permission is granted.</i>

1877
01:37:22,604 --> 01:37:24,370
Fuck me.

1878
01:37:24,372 --> 01:37:25,652
Mm-hmm.

1879
01:37:38,553 --> 01:37:39,986
(tires screech)

1880
01:37:51,333 --> 01:37:52,932
MERLIN:
<i>Eggsy,</i>

1881
01:37:52,934 --> 01:37:54,267
we're on.

1882
01:38:08,516 --> 01:38:10,116
Chester King.

1883
01:38:10,118 --> 01:38:13,086
Mr. King, welcome.

1884
01:38:13,088 --> 01:38:15,255
I'm sure you've
adhered to Valentine's

1885
01:38:15,257 --> 01:38:17,323
strict no-weapons policy,
but if you don't object...

1886
01:38:17,325 --> 01:38:18,892
Of course.

1887
01:38:18,894 --> 01:38:20,426
Thank you.

1888
01:38:20,428 --> 01:38:23,196
Do you have any luggage?

1889
01:38:23,198 --> 01:38:24,597
Congratulations, Mycroft,

1890
01:38:24,599 --> 01:38:27,200
you just graduated
from my pilot to my valet.

1891
01:38:27,202 --> 01:38:28,668
You cheeky...

1892
01:38:28,670 --> 01:38:30,236
Understood?

1893
01:38:30,238 --> 01:38:31,604
Good.

1894
01:38:31,606 --> 01:38:33,306
Thank you.

1895
01:38:52,193 --> 01:38:54,160
¶ ¶

1896
01:38:57,399 --> 01:38:59,699
(people arguing nearby)

1897
01:38:59,701 --> 01:39:03,136
MERLIN (over earpiece): Eggsy,
find a laptop, get me online.

1898
01:39:03,138 --> 01:39:04,470
The clock is ticking.

1899
01:39:04,472 --> 01:39:07,974
And remember, try to blend in.

1900
01:39:07,976 --> 01:39:10,977
Would sir care for a drink?

1901
01:39:10,979 --> 01:39:12,412
Martini.

1902
01:39:12,414 --> 01:39:14,647
Gin, not vodka, obviously.

1903
01:39:14,649 --> 01:39:16,316
Stirred for ten seconds

1904
01:39:16,318 --> 01:39:18,518
while glancing at
an unopened bottle of vermouth.

1905
01:39:18,520 --> 01:39:20,086
Thank you.

1906
01:39:22,958 --> 01:39:25,024
Merlin, are you clocking this?

1907
01:39:25,026 --> 01:39:26,125
Yes, I am.

1908
01:39:26,127 --> 01:39:27,627
Stay focused.

1909
01:39:27,629 --> 01:39:30,096
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.

1910
01:39:30,098 --> 01:39:31,731
(over radio):
Yes, Merlin.

1911
01:39:31,733 --> 01:39:35,568
MERLIN:
Eggsy, get me online now.

1912
01:39:35,570 --> 01:39:38,604
EGGSY:
Yep, I'm on it.

1913
01:39:38,606 --> 01:39:40,707
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.

1914
01:39:40,709 --> 01:39:43,009
Those balloons won't last
much longer.

1915
01:39:43,011 --> 01:39:44,344
Prepare to engage missile.

1916
01:39:45,413 --> 01:39:47,280
(beeping)

1917
01:39:55,223 --> 01:39:57,190
(beeping)

1918
01:40:00,762 --> 01:40:02,428
Society's dead.

1919
01:40:02,430 --> 01:40:04,297
Long live society.

1920
01:40:04,299 --> 01:40:05,498
(prime minister laughs)

1921
01:40:05,500 --> 01:40:07,133
Amen to that.

1922
01:40:07,135 --> 01:40:09,102
(prime minister laughs)

1923
01:40:09,104 --> 01:40:10,470
I'm Morten Lindstrom.
Chester King.

1924
01:40:10,472 --> 01:40:12,505
How'd you get online?
I couldn't.

1925
01:40:12,507 --> 01:40:14,073
Oh, well,
it's a closed network, you see.

1926
01:40:14,075 --> 01:40:16,595
Pre-authorized
connections only.
Ah.

1927
01:40:18,346 --> 01:40:21,014
I've got a fix on the satellite.

1928
01:40:21,016 --> 01:40:22,348
EGGSY:
Do you have the correct time?

1929
01:40:22,350 --> 01:40:23,416
I think I'm still
in my last time zone.

1930
01:40:23,418 --> 01:40:25,284
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's see now.

1931
01:40:36,097 --> 01:40:38,231
(beeping)

1932
01:40:38,233 --> 01:40:40,366
MERLIN:
Eggsy, I'm in.

1933
01:40:40,368 --> 01:40:41,701
Get your arse
back to the plane, now.

1934
01:40:41,703 --> 01:40:43,069
On my way.
Lancelot, good luck!

1935
01:40:43,071 --> 01:40:44,103
Firing in three,

1936
01:40:44,105 --> 01:40:45,571
two...

1937
01:40:47,375 --> 01:40:49,075
(gasps)

1938
01:40:52,814 --> 01:40:54,280
Nice and slow.

1939
01:40:54,282 --> 01:40:55,481
Fuck are you doing here?

1940
01:40:55,483 --> 01:40:58,151
Well, my family
were invited, obviously.

1941
01:40:58,153 --> 01:40:59,652
Now, get the fuck up.
Slowly.

1942
01:40:59,654 --> 01:41:00,787
MERLIN:
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

1943
01:41:00,789 --> 01:41:02,755
Lancelot, hurry up and fire!

1944
01:41:02,757 --> 01:41:04,624
That other balloon
is gonna blow!

1945
01:41:04,626 --> 01:41:06,459
Yes, Merlin.
I've nearly got it.

1946
01:41:06,461 --> 01:41:07,627
Give me a second!

1947
01:41:09,597 --> 01:41:12,532
Valentine!
I've caught a fucking spy!

1948
01:41:12,534 --> 01:41:13,699
V-Glass, zoom.

1949
01:41:13,701 --> 01:41:15,535
Oh, fuck!

1950
01:41:15,537 --> 01:41:17,617
It's that young valet.
(zapping, grunting)

1951
01:41:20,241 --> 01:41:22,108
Son of a bitch.

1952
01:41:22,110 --> 01:41:23,590
ROXY:
Got it!

1953
01:41:25,146 --> 01:41:26,479
(people shouting, murmuring)

1954
01:41:29,350 --> 01:41:30,750
(screaming)

1955
01:41:32,821 --> 01:41:34,253
VALENTINE:
Oh, shit.

1956
01:41:34,255 --> 01:41:35,755
Sound the alarm!

1957
01:41:37,292 --> 01:41:38,658
I'm not taking any chances.

1958
01:41:38,660 --> 01:41:40,393
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.

1959
01:41:40,395 --> 01:41:42,955
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.

1960
01:41:44,232 --> 01:41:47,233
FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE:
Countdown initiated.

1961
01:41:48,803 --> 01:41:50,470
(automatic gunfire)

1962
01:41:55,577 --> 01:41:57,297
You see him?
Right here.

1963
01:41:59,147 --> 01:42:01,514
(gasping)

1964
01:42:06,121 --> 01:42:07,720
MERLIN:
Eggsy, take a left.

1965
01:42:07,722 --> 01:42:09,188
Two guards, up ahead.

1966
01:42:14,796 --> 01:42:16,329
(groaning)

1967
01:42:21,169 --> 01:42:22,702
Lancelot, release now!

1968
01:42:22,704 --> 01:42:25,338
(groans)

1969
01:42:33,448 --> 01:42:34,647
MERLIN:
<i>Eggsy, straight ahead,</i>
<i>then right.</i>

1970
01:42:34,649 --> 01:42:36,382
There's two more.

1971
01:42:40,688 --> 01:42:41,687
All right,
everybody on your feet!

1972
01:42:41,689 --> 01:42:44,257
Countdown to V-day!

1973
01:42:44,259 --> 01:42:45,858
Welcome in the new age!

1974
01:42:54,269 --> 01:42:55,301
Aah! Flat spin!

1975
01:43:00,909 --> 01:43:03,376
(men shouting)

1976
01:43:09,617 --> 01:43:12,417
MERLIN:
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!

1977
01:43:21,362 --> 01:43:23,329
(Roxy screaming)
VALENTINE:<i> Here we go!</i>

1978
01:43:23,331 --> 01:43:24,463
Ten,

1979
01:43:24,465 --> 01:43:26,265
<i>nine,</i>

1980
01:43:26,267 --> 01:43:27,466
<i>eight,</i>

1981
01:43:27,468 --> 01:43:28,968
<i>seven,</i>

1982
01:43:28,970 --> 01:43:31,871
<i>six,</i>

1983
01:43:31,873 --> 01:43:33,606
five,

1984
01:43:33,608 --> 01:43:35,274
<i>four,</i>

1985
01:43:35,276 --> 01:43:36,742
<i>three,</i>

1986
01:43:36,744 --> 01:43:38,878
two,

1987
01:43:38,880 --> 01:43:39,880
one!

1988
01:43:43,685 --> 01:43:46,385
MERLIN:
Nice!

1989
01:43:46,387 --> 01:43:47,420
(over radio):
Well done, both of you.

1990
01:43:47,422 --> 01:43:49,222
It's not working!

1991
01:43:49,224 --> 01:43:50,456
It's supposed to be working!

1992
01:43:50,458 --> 01:43:52,138
What the fuck?
(stammers)

1993
01:43:54,996 --> 01:43:56,996
(panting)

1994
01:43:56,998 --> 01:43:58,798
EGGSY (over radio):
Yes!

1995
01:43:58,800 --> 01:44:00,233
Well done, Rox. Good girl.

1996
01:44:03,605 --> 01:44:05,705
We've lost one of
our satellites.

1997
01:44:10,778 --> 01:44:12,378
(computer beeping)

1998
01:44:15,683 --> 01:44:18,451
Oh, no, no.
There's no way

1999
01:44:18,453 --> 01:44:19,518
I can hack past that.

2000
01:44:24,492 --> 01:44:25,992
What's going on?

2001
01:44:25,994 --> 01:44:28,361
Is there a problem?

2002
01:44:28,363 --> 01:44:30,763
Come on,
there's no need for guns.

2003
01:44:30,765 --> 01:44:32,431
I'm just a pilot.

2004
01:44:33,768 --> 01:44:35,701
(gun clicks)
Fuck.

2005
01:44:35,703 --> 01:44:37,303
Merlin!
(gunshots)

2006
01:44:38,606 --> 01:44:39,805
Get in here!

2007
01:44:44,779 --> 01:44:47,280
Come on!

2008
01:44:48,650 --> 01:44:50,616
Let's get the fuck out of here!

2009
01:44:50,618 --> 01:44:52,451
We can't.

2010
01:44:52,453 --> 01:44:53,719
I can't get
into Valentine's machine.

2011
01:44:53,721 --> 01:44:55,755
He's got biometric security.

2012
01:44:55,757 --> 01:44:58,024
You're gonna have
to get in there

2013
01:44:58,026 --> 01:44:59,892
and make sure his hand
never touches that desk.

2014
01:44:59,894 --> 01:45:02,361
Are you taking the fucking piss?

2015
01:45:02,363 --> 01:45:03,663
I'm afraid not.

2016
01:45:03,665 --> 01:45:05,431
(sighs)

2017
01:45:05,433 --> 01:45:07,800
Let's have that then.

2018
01:45:07,802 --> 01:45:08,968
Uh-uh.

2019
01:45:08,970 --> 01:45:10,670
This is mine.

2020
01:45:10,672 --> 01:45:11,837
I'll show you yours.

2021
01:45:29,891 --> 01:45:31,490
Good choice.

2022
01:45:33,761 --> 01:45:35,728
VALENTINE:
How long to re-link
the satellite chain?

2023
01:45:35,730 --> 01:45:37,363
It'll take an hour,
maybe two.

2024
01:45:37,365 --> 01:45:39,598
Bullshit! Just bring
these two closer together.

2025
01:45:39,600 --> 01:45:40,866
But that's not yours.

2026
01:45:45,606 --> 01:45:47,840
V-Glass, call E-man.

2027
01:45:47,842 --> 01:45:48,908
(beeping)

2028
01:45:48,910 --> 01:45:50,543
E, it's V.

2029
01:45:50,545 --> 01:45:52,545
Listen, man, I got
a little hiccup on this end.

2030
01:45:52,547 --> 01:45:53,813
I need to piggyback.

2031
01:45:53,815 --> 01:45:55,081
One of my satellites
just went down,

2032
01:45:55,083 --> 01:45:57,043
but it's right next
to one of yours.

2033
01:45:58,019 --> 01:45:59,585
You read my mind.

2034
01:45:59,587 --> 01:46:02,355
How long before
you make that happen?

2035
01:46:05,093 --> 01:46:06,792
Go.

2036
01:46:10,531 --> 01:46:12,651
All right,
we should be coming back online.

2037
01:46:14,936 --> 01:46:16,369
Ten percent.

2038
01:46:17,905 --> 01:46:20,406
Oh, shit!

2039
01:46:20,408 --> 01:46:22,375
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.

2040
01:46:22,377 --> 01:46:24,543
(over radio):
He's going to reconnect
the chain.

2041
01:46:24,545 --> 01:46:25,945
It's going to take him
no time at all.

2042
01:46:25,947 --> 01:46:27,947
It's at 20 percent.

2043
01:46:45,400 --> 01:46:47,466
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got

2044
01:46:47,468 --> 01:46:48,567
a present for you.

2045
01:46:48,569 --> 01:46:50,536
Get a move on!

2046
01:47:01,849 --> 01:47:03,482
(screaming)

2047
01:47:22,804 --> 01:47:24,103
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?

2048
01:47:24,105 --> 01:47:26,071
Not yet, but he will be soon.

2049
01:47:26,073 --> 01:47:27,840
Good.

2050
01:47:39,954 --> 01:47:41,921
Merlin, I'm fucked.

2051
01:47:54,969 --> 01:47:56,101
As am I.

2052
01:47:56,103 --> 01:47:57,470
They're coming at me
from both sides.

2053
01:47:57,472 --> 01:47:58,737
I'm out of options.

2054
01:47:58,739 --> 01:48:00,906
Rox, Rox, I need a favor.

2055
01:48:00,908 --> 01:48:02,775
Call my mum.

2056
01:48:02,777 --> 01:48:04,777
Tell her to lock herself
away from Dean.

2057
01:48:04,779 --> 01:48:06,512
(over radio):
<i>And the baby...</i>

2058
01:48:06,514 --> 01:48:08,013
<i>and...</i>

2059
01:48:08,015 --> 01:48:09,055
tell her I love her.

2060
01:48:17,959 --> 01:48:19,158
Oh, for fuck's sake.

2061
01:48:22,930 --> 01:48:26,765
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?

2062
01:48:28,169 --> 01:48:29,702
Any chance you can turn them on?

2063
01:48:32,874 --> 01:48:34,173
All right.

2064
01:48:34,175 --> 01:48:35,708
My turn to play, Valentine.

2065
01:48:45,253 --> 01:48:46,719
Oh, oh, no!

2066
01:48:46,721 --> 01:48:48,053
No, no, what the fuck is he...

2067
01:48:48,055 --> 01:48:49,055
I can't stop this.

2068
01:48:55,029 --> 01:48:56,195
(sighs)

2069
01:49:02,236 --> 01:49:03,602
Yes, please.

2070
01:49:06,707 --> 01:49:08,274
No!

2071
01:49:26,861 --> 01:49:29,828
¶ ¶

2072
01:49:52,119 --> 01:49:54,086
(panting)

2073
01:50:04,765 --> 01:50:07,299
MERLIN:
Oh, my God!

2074
01:50:07,301 --> 01:50:09,335
That is fucking spectacular!

2075
01:50:09,337 --> 01:50:11,003
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!

2076
01:50:11,005 --> 01:50:12,371
(thumping on door)

2077
01:50:12,373 --> 01:50:16,213
WOMAN:
What the fuck is
happening out there?

2078
01:50:19,046 --> 01:50:20,846
Aren't you that princess

2079
01:50:20,848 --> 01:50:22,648
who went missing?
Can you get me out?

2080
01:50:22,650 --> 01:50:24,283
If I do,
will you give me a kiss?

2081
01:50:24,285 --> 01:50:25,818
I've always wanted
to kiss a princess.

2082
01:50:25,820 --> 01:50:27,820
If you get me out right now,

2083
01:50:27,822 --> 01:50:29,922
I'll give you more
than just a kiss.

2084
01:50:29,924 --> 01:50:31,690
VALENTINE (over speakers):
You motherfucker.

2085
01:50:31,692 --> 01:50:33,192
Did you really think
I was stupid enough

2086
01:50:33,194 --> 01:50:36,729
to implant one of those things
in my own head?

2087
01:50:36,731 --> 01:50:38,764
What are you, fucking crazy?

2088
01:50:38,766 --> 01:50:41,934
All those innocent people
killed, and for what?

2089
01:50:41,936 --> 01:50:46,372
You didn't stop shit!

2090
01:50:46,374 --> 01:50:47,940
Yeah, fine,
I've locked the door.

2091
01:50:47,942 --> 01:50:49,775
What do you want me to do now?
As I said,

2092
01:50:49,777 --> 01:50:50,809
put your daughter
in the bathroom

2093
01:50:50,811 --> 01:50:52,011
and throw away the key.

2094
01:50:52,013 --> 01:50:55,247
VALENTINE:
It's still happening!

2095
01:50:55,249 --> 01:50:56,415
You're fucking insane.

2096
01:50:56,417 --> 01:50:57,977
ROXY:
Just do it.

2097
01:51:00,721 --> 01:51:02,054
¶ ¶

2098
01:51:02,056 --> 01:51:03,756
(beeping)

2099
01:51:05,059 --> 01:51:08,661
(dance music playing)

2100
01:51:08,663 --> 01:51:12,831
(high-pitched whirring)

2101
01:51:12,833 --> 01:51:15,934
What the hell?
What the...?
(crowd murmuring)

2102
01:51:15,936 --> 01:51:19,004
(whirring continues,
rising in pitch and speed)

2103
01:51:24,845 --> 01:51:26,679
MERLIN:
Eggsy, the signal's started!

2104
01:51:26,681 --> 01:51:29,214
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!

2105
01:51:29,216 --> 01:51:30,849
Sorry, love.

2106
01:51:30,851 --> 01:51:32,351
Gotta save the world.

2107
01:51:32,353 --> 01:51:35,921
If you save the world,
we can do it in the asshole.

2108
01:51:37,158 --> 01:51:39,124
I'll be right back.

2109
01:51:39,126 --> 01:51:41,427
Good luck!

2110
01:51:41,429 --> 01:51:43,395
¶ ¶

2111
01:51:47,902 --> 01:51:49,168
London.

2112
01:51:49,170 --> 01:51:51,837
¶ ¶

2113
01:51:51,839 --> 01:51:54,840
(people screaming, shouting,
tires screeching)

2114
01:51:56,143 --> 01:51:59,111
(screaming, shouting)

2115
01:52:06,353 --> 01:52:07,920
¶ ¶

2116
01:52:07,922 --> 01:52:09,088
(grunting)

2117
01:52:09,090 --> 01:52:11,256
(grunting, pounding)

2118
01:52:12,893 --> 01:52:14,860
(panting)

2119
01:52:16,897 --> 01:52:18,764
GAZELLE (laughs):
Rio!

2120
01:52:18,766 --> 01:52:20,899
¶ ¶

2121
01:52:20,901 --> 01:52:23,202
(people screaming, shouting)

2122
01:52:24,438 --> 01:52:27,306
(screaming, shouting, grunting)

2123
01:52:27,308 --> 01:52:29,007
(panting)

2124
01:52:31,278 --> 01:52:34,279
¶ ¶

2125
01:52:34,281 --> 01:52:35,748
(automatic gunfire)
Get down!

2126
01:52:35,750 --> 01:52:38,751
(music slows, stops)
You did it!

2127
01:52:38,753 --> 01:52:39,952
(whirring stops)

2128
01:52:39,954 --> 01:52:42,354
(panting)

2129
01:52:42,356 --> 01:52:45,290
(groaning, coughing,
indistinct chatter)

2130
01:52:45,292 --> 01:52:47,192
(automatic gunfire continues)

2131
01:52:47,194 --> 01:52:49,962
GAZELLE: The glass
is not gonna hold long.

2132
01:52:51,198 --> 01:52:52,898
You stay here.

2133
01:52:54,168 --> 01:52:56,869
Merlin, quickly,
how do I get up there?

2134
01:52:56,871 --> 01:52:59,632
Keep shooting.
I'll find a route.
Understood.

2135
01:53:10,484 --> 01:53:11,484
(yells)

2136
01:53:15,489 --> 01:53:16,555
Holy fuck!

2137
01:53:32,106 --> 01:53:35,007
(music resumes)

2138
01:53:35,009 --> 01:53:36,441
(laughs): We're back up!

2139
01:53:36,443 --> 01:53:38,577
We're back up!

2140
01:53:38,579 --> 01:53:42,247
(clamoring)

2141
01:53:42,249 --> 01:53:45,551
(yelling, grunting, screaming)

2142
01:53:45,553 --> 01:53:47,352
(laughing):
This is great!

2143
01:53:47,354 --> 01:53:49,321
¶ ¶

2144
01:53:51,192 --> 01:53:53,325
(grunting)

2145
01:53:53,327 --> 01:53:54,560
(crying)

2146
01:53:54,562 --> 01:53:58,163
MERLIN:
Eggsy! Fuckin' get on with it!

2147
01:53:58,165 --> 01:53:59,832
VALENTINE:
Kick his ass, Gazy!

2148
01:53:59,834 --> 01:54:02,401
(grunting)

2149
01:54:02,403 --> 01:54:05,971
¶ ¶

2150
01:54:05,973 --> 01:54:08,941
VALENTINE:
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!

2151
01:54:08,943 --> 01:54:11,610
¶ ¶

2152
01:54:14,415 --> 01:54:15,581
MAN:
I'll kick your ass!

2153
01:54:15,583 --> 01:54:17,216
VALENTINE:
<i>Gazelle,</i>

2154
01:54:17,218 --> 01:54:19,618
kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!

2155
01:54:19,620 --> 01:54:22,087
¶ ¶

2156
01:54:22,089 --> 01:54:24,223
(blades clashing, scraping)

2157
01:54:29,463 --> 01:54:32,631
¶ ¶

2158
01:54:35,502 --> 01:54:37,102
MERLIN (over radio):
Eggsy...

2159
01:54:37,104 --> 01:54:39,137
the world is going to shit!

2160
01:54:39,139 --> 01:54:41,240
¶ ¶

2161
01:54:44,411 --> 01:54:45,544
(yelling)

2162
01:54:45,546 --> 01:54:47,379
(baby crying loudly)

2163
01:54:47,381 --> 01:54:48,413
(grunting)

2164
01:54:48,415 --> 01:54:50,515
Is he dead yet?!
Not yet!

2165
01:54:50,517 --> 01:54:52,985
Stop playing with your food!
Kill him!

2166
01:55:03,230 --> 01:55:05,430
(Eggsy grunting with effort)

2167
01:55:20,247 --> 01:55:23,081
¶ ¶

2168
01:55:42,670 --> 01:55:45,437
(gasping)

2169
01:55:57,952 --> 01:56:00,452
(gasping)

2170
01:56:05,359 --> 01:56:07,960
(gasping)

2171
01:56:07,962 --> 01:56:10,595
(grunting)

2172
01:56:12,099 --> 01:56:13,465
Gazelle!

2173
01:56:15,302 --> 01:56:16,535
Gazelle!

2174
01:56:19,640 --> 01:56:21,606
(Valentine screams)

2175
01:56:23,711 --> 01:56:25,143
(crying loudly)

2176
01:56:26,146 --> 01:56:27,212
MERLIN:
<i>Come on,</i>

2177
01:56:27,214 --> 01:56:28,246
come on!

2178
01:56:30,751 --> 01:56:32,718
MERLIN (over radio):
Kill him!

2179
01:56:32,720 --> 01:56:34,453
(quietly):
Fuck.

2180
01:56:34,455 --> 01:56:37,122
(grunts, pants)

2181
01:56:37,124 --> 01:56:38,757
(baby continues crying)

2182
01:56:39,526 --> 01:56:41,193
(panting)

2183
01:56:41,195 --> 01:56:42,294
(grunts)

2184
01:56:43,330 --> 01:56:44,496
(yells)

2185
01:56:45,265 --> 01:56:46,265
Gazelle...!

2186
01:56:48,736 --> 01:56:49,736
Hey-hey!

2187
01:56:49,737 --> 01:56:50,769
(gasps)

2188
01:56:50,771 --> 01:56:52,371
(trembling breaths)

2189
01:56:54,008 --> 01:56:56,141
(gasps)

2190
01:56:56,143 --> 01:56:57,442
(retching)

2191
01:57:01,115 --> 01:57:03,181
(coughing)

2192
01:57:07,054 --> 01:57:08,687
(panting weakly)

2193
01:57:13,027 --> 01:57:14,359
(body thuds)

2194
01:57:14,361 --> 01:57:16,361
MERLIN (over radio):
Well done, son!

2195
01:57:16,363 --> 01:57:17,596
(shouts happily)

2196
01:57:17,598 --> 01:57:20,198
Yes! Yes, Eggsy!

2197
01:57:20,200 --> 01:57:21,566
Well done, Eggsy.

2198
01:57:21,568 --> 01:57:23,435
And you, Lancelot.

2199
01:57:23,437 --> 01:57:25,804
(panting)

2200
01:57:25,806 --> 01:57:28,707
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.

2201
01:57:28,709 --> 01:57:32,077
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.

2202
01:57:32,079 --> 01:57:34,413
(kisses)

2203
01:57:34,415 --> 01:57:36,055
(whispers):
You okay?

2204
01:57:36,817 --> 01:57:39,618
(groans)

2205
01:57:39,620 --> 01:57:41,586
Harry would be proud
of you, Eggsy.

2206
01:57:41,588 --> 01:57:43,822
He was right.

2207
01:57:47,461 --> 01:57:49,428
¶ ¶

2208
01:57:59,273 --> 01:58:01,139
What's up, man?

2209
01:58:01,141 --> 01:58:04,242
Is this the part where you say
some... really bad pun?

2210
01:58:05,512 --> 01:58:07,846
Well, it's like you
said to Harry.

2211
01:58:07,848 --> 01:58:10,749
(breathes weakly)

2212
01:58:10,751 --> 01:58:13,351
This ain't
that kind of movie, bruv.

2213
01:58:14,822 --> 01:58:16,521
Perfect.

2214
01:58:20,094 --> 01:58:22,594
¶ ¶

2215
01:58:36,643 --> 01:58:38,443
Eggsy, where are you going?

2216
01:58:38,445 --> 01:58:40,679
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.

2217
01:58:40,681 --> 01:58:42,647
¶ ¶

2218
01:58:46,720 --> 01:58:49,121
Did you save the world?

2219
01:58:49,123 --> 01:58:50,889
Yes, I did.

2220
01:58:52,359 --> 01:58:55,260
So... you gonna come in?

2221
01:58:55,262 --> 01:58:57,395
Yes, I am.

2222
01:59:02,269 --> 01:59:04,769
Merlin, the cell's locked...
How do I get in?

2223
01:59:06,373 --> 01:59:07,706
Twenty-six,

2224
01:59:07,708 --> 01:59:09,641
(over radio):
Twenty-five.

2225
01:59:11,478 --> 01:59:12,577
(lock buzzes, latch clacks)

2226
01:59:12,579 --> 01:59:13,745
Merlin...

2227
01:59:13,747 --> 01:59:16,214
you're the guv'nor.

2228
01:59:17,551 --> 01:59:20,252
MERLIN (over radio):
You owe me, Eggsy.

2229
01:59:22,289 --> 01:59:24,389
(sighs)

2230
01:59:25,425 --> 01:59:26,691
Eggsy?

2231
01:59:30,797 --> 01:59:32,564
Oh.

2232
01:59:32,566 --> 01:59:34,399
Oh, my word.

2233
01:59:35,702 --> 01:59:38,670
¶ ¶

2234
02:00:05,666 --> 02:00:07,632
¶ ¶

2235
02:00:21,582 --> 02:00:24,916
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nuts in.

2236
02:00:24,918 --> 02:00:26,952
EGGSY:
I rather like that song.

2237
02:00:26,954 --> 02:00:29,521
Leave it on, eh, Mum?

2238
02:00:29,523 --> 02:00:32,324
¶ ¶

2239
02:00:32,326 --> 02:00:33,959
Mugsy's back.

2240
02:00:33,961 --> 02:00:36,928
You finally come to have that
word with me, have you, son?

2241
02:00:36,930 --> 02:00:39,264
Or are you gonna
run away again

2242
02:00:39,266 --> 02:00:40,799
and pretend you're going
to court dressed like that?

2243
02:00:40,801 --> 02:00:42,601
Oh, you mean this.

2244
02:00:43,937 --> 02:00:45,237
No.

2245
02:00:45,239 --> 02:00:46,705
I know this bloke

2246
02:00:46,707 --> 02:00:49,474
who's just taken over a
tailor's shop on Savile Row.

2247
02:00:49,476 --> 02:00:51,009
He's given me a job, Mum.

2248
02:00:52,479 --> 02:00:53,945
Comes with a lot of perks.

2249
02:00:55,449 --> 02:00:56,781
Including a house.

2250
02:00:56,783 --> 02:00:59,784
Come and live
with me there, Mum.

2251
02:00:59,786 --> 02:01:00,786
Come on.

2252
02:01:00,787 --> 02:01:03,688
Sit down, you.

2253
02:01:03,690 --> 02:01:05,857
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.

2254
02:01:05,859 --> 02:01:08,593
Do you hear?
Just leave him alone, Dean!

2255
02:01:08,595 --> 02:01:10,515
Eggsy, go.
Please, just go, babe.

2256
02:01:11,765 --> 02:01:13,298
All right.

2257
02:01:13,300 --> 02:01:15,267
Yes, do as Mummy says.
Why don't you ask

2258
02:01:15,269 --> 02:01:16,868
that tailor friend of yours
to knock up

2259
02:01:16,870 --> 02:01:19,404
a nice chicken costume...
It'd suit you, you mug.

2260
02:01:19,406 --> 02:01:21,306
¶ ¶

2261
02:01:21,308 --> 02:01:24,442
As a good friend once said...

2262
02:01:24,444 --> 02:01:26,778
"Manners...

2263
02:01:26,780 --> 02:01:28,680
(latch clacks)

2264
02:01:28,682 --> 02:01:30,849
"...maketh...

2265
02:01:30,851 --> 02:01:32,817
...man."

2266
02:01:32,819 --> 02:01:33,952
(latch clacks)

2267
02:01:33,954 --> 02:01:36,488
Hey...
Shut the fuck up.

2268
02:01:36,490 --> 02:01:38,423
DEAN:
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove
your manners

2269
02:01:38,425 --> 02:01:39,924
up your fuck... (grunts)

2270
02:01:41,595 --> 02:01:43,695
(thuds)

2271
02:01:43,697 --> 02:01:45,830
So...

2272
02:01:45,832 --> 02:01:48,400
are we gonna
stand around here all day,

2273
02:01:48,402 --> 02:01:50,402
or are we gonna fight?

2274
02:01:50,404 --> 02:01:52,704
¶ ¶

2275
02:01:54,941 --> 02:01:58,543
¶ ¶

2276
02:02:28,075 --> 02:02:31,343
¶ ¶

2277
02:03:00,907 --> 02:03:02,874
¶ ¶

2278
02:03:32,939 --> 02:03:34,906
¶ ¶

2279
02:04:04,738 --> 02:04:06,704
¶ ¶

2280
02:04:37,137 --> 02:04:39,103
¶ ¶

2281
02:05:09,236 --> 02:05:11,202
¶ ¶

2282
02:05:41,234 --> 02:05:43,201
¶ ¶

2283
02:06:13,233 --> 02:06:15,199
¶ ¶

2284
02:06:45,265 --> 02:06:47,231
¶ ¶

2285
02:07:17,364 --> 02:07:19,330
¶ ¶

2286
02:07:49,362 --> 02:07:51,329
¶ ¶

2287
02:08:21,227 --> 02:08:23,194
¶ ¶