1 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:45,210 ♪ There'll be no strings to bind your hands ♪ 沒有什麼可以捆綁你的雙手 2 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:50,850 ♪ Not if my love can't bind your heart ♪ 除非我的愛不讓你的心迷失 3 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,280 勞勃.L(指死侍作者 Fabian NiciezaRob和Red Liefeld) 4 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,400 ♪ There's no need to take a stand ♪ 本來就沒有必要再反對什麼 5 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,610 一個混蛋主演的電影 6 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:04,210 ♪ For it was I who chose to start ♪ 早先我就不應該開始這一切 7 00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:04,280 主演: 世上最蠢的笨蛋 8 00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:07,500 世上最性感男人 9 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,520 ♪ If morning's echoes say we've sinned ♪ 如果清晨預示了我們的罪惡 10 00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,990 一個性感的妹子 11 00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:16,730 一個英國惡棍 12 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:24,480 ♪ And if we're victims of the night ♪ 如果我們是暗夜的受害者 13 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:23,730 一場喜劇大餐 14 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,870 一名壞脾氣的青年 15 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:37,550 ♪ Just call me angel of the morning angel ♪ 叫我一聲晨間天使，天使 16 00:01:37,850 --> 00:01:40,950 一個特效人物 17 00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:50,920 ♪ Just call me angel of the morning angel ♪ 叫我一聲晨間天使，天使 18 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,330 一個可有可無的配角 19 00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:56,950 ♪ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby ♪ 在你離去時撫摸一下我的臉頰 20 00:01:57,970 --> 00:02:02,980 ♪ Just call me angel of the morning angel ♪ 叫我一聲晨間天使，天使 21 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:08,910 ♪ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, darling ♪ 在你離去時撫摸一下我的臉頰 22 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,410 出品人: 傻逼 23 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:14,940 ♪ Just call me angel of the morning angel ♪ 叫我一聲晨間天使，天使 24 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,950 編劇: 真正的英雄 25 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:23,970 ♪ Just touch my cheek before you leave me, darling ♪ 在你離去時撫摸一下我的臉頰 26 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:24,100 導演: 吃白飯的 27 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,450 嗨 我是死侍！ 28 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,200 ♪ Mera Joota hai Japani Yeh Patloon Inglistani ♪ 我穿的鞋子是日貨 我穿的褲子是英貨 29 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,300 ♪ Sar pe lal topi Rusi Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani ♪ 我帶的帽子是俄羅斯的 可我的心卻屬於印度 30 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,300 ♪ Mera Joota hai Japani Yeh Patloon Inglistani ♪ 我穿的鞋子是日貨 我穿的褲子是英貨 31 00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:39,760 "驚悚賽格威之旅" 32 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,500 ♪ Sar pe lal topi Rusi Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani ♪ 我帶的帽子是俄羅斯的 可我的心卻屬於印度 33 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,740 我在後面坐著有點無聊啊 I'm kinda lonesome back here. 34 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:11,410 - 搭把手... - 呃...但我得把住方向盤 - Little help... - Just... I have to keep my hands on the wheel. 35 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,560 不好意思! Excuse me! 36 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:19,680 - 杜皮特 - 我姓死名侍 - Dopinder. - Pool. Dead. 37 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:24,830 - 不錯啊! - 好聞吧? - Nice! - Smells good, no? 38 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,970 我沒說水仙 我說那女孩 Not the daffodil daydream. The girl. 39 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,640 噢 吉塔 她很可愛 Yes. Gita. She is quite lovely. 40 00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:34,540 我本來能娶她的 但... She would have made me a very agreeable wife. But... 41 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:38,440 她卻迷上了我表哥 班度 Gita's heart has been stolen by my cousin, Bandu. 42 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,040 他雖然無恥 但很有魅力 He is as dishonorable as he is attractive. 43 00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:47,700 杜皮特 我覺得冥冥中有什麼原因讓我今天坐你的車 Dopinder, I'm starting to think there's a reason I'm in this cab today. 44 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:51,840 - 是的 先生 你叫的車 記得麼? - 不 我這棕色的瘦猴朋友 愛情... - Yes, sir, you called for it, remember? - No, my slender, brown friend. Love... 45 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:58,140 ...美妙無比 愛情來臨時 整個世界都充滿水仙花的香氣 ... is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world tastes like daffodil daydream. 46 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,940 所以你要抓住愛情 緊緊抓住! So you gotta hold on to love. Tight! 47 00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:06,140 - 千萬別放手 別像我一樣犯錯 懂了? - 懂了 - And never let go. Don't make the same mistakes I did, got it? - Yah 48 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,240 否則整個世界都會充滿肥媽做完瑜伽的味道 Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga. 49 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,240 電視劇《Here Comes Honey Boo Boo》裡的人物 50 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,850 先生 肥媽聞起來什麼味? Sir, what does Ms Mama June taste like? 51 00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:15,600 就兩個流浪漢在裝滿尿的鞋裡互幹的味道 Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss. 52 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,980 我還能繼續說下去 杜皮特 但重點是味道太噁心了 I can go all day, Dopinder. The point is it's bad. 53 00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:19,480 是挺噁心的 It is bad 54 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,440 為啥要穿著花哨的紅衣服 先生? Why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool? 55 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,040 哦 因為今天耶誕節 杜皮特 而且我要幹掉搗蛋名單上的一個人 Oh, that's because it's Christmas day, Dopinder, and I'm after someone on my naughty list. 56 00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:35,140 為了讓他補償對我所做的事 我已經等了1年3周6天還有14分鐘 I've been waiting, 1 year, 3 weeks, 6 days and- - - 14 minutes to make him fix what he did to me. 57 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:39,210 - 他對你做了什麼 先生? - 就這個 - And what did he do to you, Mr. Pool? - This shit. 58 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,110 看! Boo! 59 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,530 - 你不會失望的 - 最好不會 - They won't disappoint. - They'd better not! 60 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:09,610 - 下個月能有多少? - 毛都沒有 - What about next month's shipment? - There won't be one. 61 00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,680 要打勝仗的不是只有你一個 You're not the only one with a war to win. 62 00:05:13,210 --> 00:05:15,410 少來這套 That won't do. 63 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:21,910 我們這交易有點小插曲 See, we've had this small disruption to our supply trade. 64 00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,340 我們會感激你的耐心 We'd appreciate your patience. 65 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:31,140 好吧... Okay... 66 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:33,790 再下個月全數交貨 We'll deliver in full the following month. 67 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,690 合作愉快 Pleasure doing business with you. 68 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,690 去他媽的變種人! Fucking mutant! 69 00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:57,690 媽的! 我忘帶彈藥袋了! Shit! I forgot my ammo bag! 70 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:01,830 - 要掉頭麼去拿麼? - 沒時間了 去他媽的 我還有這個 - Shall we turn back? - No time. Fuck it. I got this. 71 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:06,190 9 10 11 12 發子彈 或者掛掉 停車! 9, 10, 11, 12 bullets. Or bust. Right here! 72 00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:10,990 車費27.5美元 That's $27.50. 73 00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:14,350 我工作時不帶錢包 塞緊身衣裡有損我形象 I never carry a wallet while I'm working. Ruins the lines of my suit. 74 00:06:15,090 --> 00:06:18,310 - 歡快的擊個掌怎麼樣? - 行吧 - But how 'bout a crisp high- five? - Okay. 75 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,780 聖誕快樂! Merry Christmas! 76 00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:24,070 祝你週二和四月都美好 死侍! And a convivial Tuesday and April to you, Pool! 77 00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:27,490 韋德 78 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:27,300 ♪ Hey, yeah, I wanna shoop, baby ♪ 79 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:32,460 ♪ Shoop shoop ba-doop ♪ 80 00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,730 ♪ Ummm, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back ♪ 81 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,760 ♪ Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that ♪ 82 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,790 ♪ Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie? ♪ 83 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,420 嗨 我是弗蘭西斯！ 84 00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:44,670 ♪ You're a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang? ♪ 85 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,420 噢!噢 你好! Oh! Oh, hello! 86 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:52,620 我懂了 嗯?我得巴結誰才能拍我自己的電影呢? I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? 87 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:52,620 Whose balls did I have to fondle 我得給誰擼管 88 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,520 我不能告訴你 但和這"京鋼狼"押韻 不得不說... I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with "Pulverine". And lemme tell you... 89 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,520 指Wolverine 金剛狼 90 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,620 他下麵那澳洲蛋蛋還挺帥的! He's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under! 91 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,620 smooth criminals 蛋蛋 ；Down under 在英語裡面通常用來指澳洲 在這裡是雙關 還指“下面 92 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:06,110 總之 我要去幾個地方 整一整我的臉 還要 噢! Anyway. I got places to be. A face to fix. And, oh! 93 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,920 幹掉幾個壞蛋 Bad guys to kill. 94 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,620 全力以赴了 Maximum effort. 95 00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:26,220 斷子絕孫拳! Cock shot! 96 00:07:34,010 --> 00:07:36,620 豪華科林斯皮革啊! Rich Corinthian leather! 97 00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:40,220 我在找弗蘭西斯! I'm looking for Francis! 98 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,320 你們見過這人麼? Have you seen this man? 99 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,570 爽啊 爽! Yanking, yanking! 100 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,110 暗指吞精 101 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,110 我可沒說過 但別吞 I've never said this, but don't swallow. 102 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:53,010 媽的 我是不是忘記關爐子了? Shit. Did I leave the stove on? 103 00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:12,420 現在插播突發新聞 Now, breaking news. 104 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:16,620 今早環城高速發生多車連環相撞伴有槍擊 A multi- car collision turned shots fired on the crosstown expressway this morning. 105 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:18,700 X戰警學院 106 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:21,320 警方已封鎖現場 建議民眾呆在家中 Gridlock has kept police from the scene. Residents are advised to remain in their homes. 107 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,620 行兇者據稱持有武器 十分危險 並且身著... The assailant appears to be armed, dangerous, and wearing a... 108 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,620 紅色衣服 死侍 Red suit. Deadpool. 109 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,820 黑後! 來吧 我們有任務了 Negasonic! Come. We have mission. 110 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:33,050 鋼力士 等下 Colossus, wait up. 111 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:37,120 每次一有機會我就讓死侍他加入我們 I've given Deadpool every chance to join us. 112 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,120 但他舉止就像個孩子似的 全副武裝的孩子 But he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. 113 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:46,020 什麼時候他才能成熟 能意識到加入X戰警的好處 When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X- Man? 114 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:50,320 什麼好處? 彈力緊身衣? 還是隔幾年就炸飛一次的房子? Which benefits, the matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years? 115 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,620 拜託 炸房子是為了塑造角色 Please. House blowing up builds character. 116 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:59,020 你吃早飯了吧 嗯?早餐是一天最重要的一頓飯 You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is most important meal of day. 117 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:03,320 給 蛋白棒 對骨頭好 Here. Protein bar. Good for bones. 118 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,120 死侍可能會打斷你的骨頭 Deadpool may try to break yours. 119 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,220 嘿! Hey! 120 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:49,720 等下! 你們可能好奇為啥是紅色緊身衣 Wait! You may be wondering why the red suit. 121 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,520 這樣壞人就看不到我流血了 Well that's so bad guys can't see me bleed. 122 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,520 這哥們知道是怎麼回事 他穿的棕色褲子 This guy's got the right idea. He wore the brown pants. 123 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,520 暗指就不怕別人看到他拉在褲子裡了 124 00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:01,320 好吧!我只有12發子彈 你們得分享下! Fine! I only have 12 bullets, so you're gonna have to share! 125 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,120 開始倒數! Let's count 'em down! 126 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:28,520 我操 日了狗! Shit, motherfucker! 127 00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:31,250 10! 操 Ten! Shit. 128 00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,880 九!麻痹! 八! 艸你麻痹! Nine! Fuck. Eight. Shit- fuck! 129 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,220 水貨死侍 Bad Deadpool. 130 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,840 七 牛逼死侍 Seven. Good Deadpool! 131 00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,420 有人沒數啊 Someone's not counting. 132 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,620 六! Six! 133 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:36,600 四... Four... 134 00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:39,650 打到你啦! Gotcha! 135 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,190 正中要害! Right up main street! 136 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:50,320 三 二! 傻逼! 值了 Three, two! Stupid! Worth it. 137 00:13:16,190 --> 00:13:18,620 今晚一定要擼一發 I'm touching myself tonight. 138 00:13:19,110 --> 00:13:21,820 弗蘭西斯!弗蘭西斯! Francis! Francis! 139 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:28,220 什麼JB玩意!你在哪 法蘭西斯? What the shitbiscuit! Where you at, Francis? 140 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,370 你不是弗蘭西斯! You're not Francis! 141 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:48,620 你他媽在逗我?挽袖子? Really? Rolling up the sleeves? 142 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:02,160 你可能在想"我男朋友說這是超級英雄電影 You're probably thinking, "my boyfriend said this was a superhero movie 143 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,730 但這紅衣男怎麼串人肉串?" but that guy in the red suit just turned that other guy into a fucking cabob" 144 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:10,220 呃 我也許算是超級 但肯定不是英雄 Well, I may be super. But I'm no hero. 145 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:15,220 好吧 嚴格來說這就是謀殺 但有些美妙的愛情故事就是從謀殺開始的 Anyhow, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. 146 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:19,470 碰巧這就是個:愛情故事 要聽故事麼? And that's exactly what this is: a love story. And to tell it right, 147 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,500 那得從我把自己塞進這紅色緊身衣之前說起 I gotta take you back to long before I squeeze this ass into red spandex. 148 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:28,540 2 年前 … 149 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,800 聽著 我說慢點有用麼?我沒定披薩 Look, would it help if I slow it down for you? I didn't order the pizza. 150 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,520 這是紅礁路7348號麼? Is this 7348 Redledge Drive? 151 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:38,420 - 你是莫錢特先生麼? - 我是那個沒定披薩的莫錢特先生! - Are you Mr. Merchant? - The Mr. Merchant who didn't order the fucking pie! 152 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,220 - 那誰打的電話? - 我打的! - Who placed the call? - I did! 153 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:48,220 鳳梨和橄欖? 又甜又鹹! Pineapple and olive? Sweet and salty! 154 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,220 怎麼是你?你他媽的在我家幹啥? The fuck are you? The fuck are you doing in my crib? 155 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:54,120 - 那是面包皮? 別動! - 天啊 希望不是 - Is that bread crust? Don't move! - God, I hope not. 156 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:58,620 聽著 這是因為那次打牌麼?我告訴過浩伊... Look, is this about that poker game? I told Howie I told him... 157 00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:01,040 這樣吧... ... Just ... 158 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,620 - 給你隨便拿 - 謝了! - Just take whatever you want. - Thanks! 159 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:08,170 先生 你處理他之前介意先給我點美麗的小費麼? Sir, before you do anything to him, do you mind if I get a big tip? 160 00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:12,220 傑瑞米 對麼? 我是韋德•威爾遜 Jeremy, is it? Wade Wilson. 161 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:16,220 你想多了 傑瑞米 That is a no go on the tip- aroo, Jer. 162 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,620 我來這不是為了他 是來找你的 I'm not here for him. I'm here for you. 163 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,980 - 看來我躲過了一劫! - 別高興太早啊 I dodged a big- time bullet on that one! - Not, out of the woods yet. 164 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:30,420 你真該歇會了 那是牛仔褲 不是吊燈 You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. 165 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,700 另外 你的錢包我收下了 畢竟你主動給我的 P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kind of give it to me. 166 00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:36,950 - 但 哥們 我能拿回我的... - 我要打死你那該死的貓 - Just look, man, can I have my... - I will shoot your fucking cat. 167 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,370 你在說什麼 我沒有貓 I don't really know what that means, I don't have a cat. 168 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,540 那我剛剛拉在誰的貓砂上了? Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in? 169 00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,420 隨便了... Anywho... 170 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,430 告訴我 什麼情況下披薩起不了作用? Tell me something. What situation isn't improved by pizza? 171 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:56,720 你認識梅根奧夫斯基麼?想起來沒?奧夫斯基? Do you happen to know a Megan Orflosky? Get that right? Orflovsky? 172 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,850 - 奧洛夫斯基? - 認識 - Orlovsky? - Yeah 173 00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:58,970 很好 Good 174 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,820 她認識你 傑瑞米... 'Cause she knows you. Jeremy... 175 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,980 我們這夥人拿點小錢就可以出力打人 I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down. 176 00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:10,190 小梅根沒出錢 但幸運的是 我心軟 And little Megan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her, I got a soft spot. 177 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,120 - 我是... - 跟蹤狂 - I'm..... - A stalker. 178 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:18,120 不是嚇唬你 傑瑞米 我會鋸了你 Threats hurt, Jer. Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel. 179 00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:24,120 - 所以 離梅根遠點 聽見沒? - 是 先生 - So keep away from Megan. Cool? - Yes, sir. 180 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:27,120 - 那就這樣 - 等下 就這樣了? - And we're done. - Wait, we are? 181 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:30,920 對 就這樣 你真該看看你自己的表情! Totally done. You should've seen your face! 182 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,120 - 我不知道該做啥 我太怕... - 我心軟 記得不? - I didn't know what to do, I was so scared... - Soft spot, remember? 183 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,280 就算你朝著她的方向看一眼 Even look in her general direction again 184 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,720 我都會讓你見識一下我的硬氣 and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots, too. 185 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,120 不該這麼說 That came out wrong. 186 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,060 見識一下? Or did it? 187 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,120 梅根 Megan. 188 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,120 聽說傑瑞米的消息了麼 他跟你道歉 You've heard the last of Jeremy. He's sorry. 189 00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:09,120 不可能吧 No friggin' way. 190 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:16,120 我真該把我旱冰鞋帶來 讓這些孩子看看應該怎麼滑 Should've brought my roller blades. Show these kids how it's done. 191 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,120 我們就是為了這個 但多數情況還是為了錢 And that's why we do it. But mostly the money. 192 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:21,140 嘿 你覺得能幹翻我繼父麼? Hey. Think you can fuck up my step dad? 193 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,120 我要讓誰狗吃屎只能是因為他罪有應得 If I can give the guy a pavement facial, it's 'cause he's earned it. 194 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,120 嘿 等一下 Hey, wait. 195 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:31,120 - 你真是我的英雄 - 不不不不不 我可不是 - You're my hero. - No, no, no, no, no. That, I ain't. 196 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:37,920 不是 絕不會是 - 操你 韋德 Nope. Never will be. - Fuck you, Wade. 197 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:41,120 我只是個拿錢幹翻混蛋的壞人 I'm just a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys. 198 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:47,120 歡迎來姐妹瑪格麗特的酒吧 這就像個雇傭軍的人才市場 Welcome to Sister Margaret's. It's like a job fair for mercenaries. 199 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:51,820 我們真就像那幫混帳牙仙 只是我們打掉人家的牙還有錢拿 Think of us as really fucked up tooth fairies except we knock out the teeth and take the cash. 200 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,340 你最好祈禱別讓自己金榜有名 You'd best hope we never see your name on a gold card. 201 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,320 巴克! 李飛德 Buck! Liefeld. 202 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,120 - 嘿 韋德 - 韋德•威爾遜 可憐的聖徒 - Hey, Wade! - Wade Wilson. Patron Saint of the Pitiful. 203 00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:03,120 - 來點什麼? - 來點口活 - What can I do for you? - I'd love a blowjob. 204 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:07,420 - 哦天啊 我也想 - 我說的是吹管之樂雞尾酒.但首先... - Oh, God, me too. - The drink. With snuggle. But first... 205 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:13,120 - 嘿 我可不賺當保姆的錢 記得把錢還給... - 奧洛夫斯基? - Hey, I ain't taking any babysitting money, make sure that gets back to Miss... - Orlovsky? 206 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,530 - 你確定? - 嗯 - You sure? - Hmm. 207 00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:20,070 你還真一點都不冷血 你肯定也沒太為難那孩子 You know for a merc, you're pretty warm- blooded. Bet you let the kid off easy, too. 208 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,350 他不壞就是有點跟蹤狂 He's not a bad kid. Just a little light stalking. 209 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,890 我像他那年紀我可瘋狂多了 還去過別的國家... I was way worse when I was his age, travelling to exotic places... 210 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:31,710 巴格達 摩加迪休 傑克遜維爾 結識些有意思的人 然後... Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, meeting new and exciting people. And then.. 211 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:36,300 殺了他們 對 我看過你的ins 那特種部隊在傑克遜維爾做了什麼? Killing them. Yeah, I've seen your instagram. So what were special forces doing in Jacksonville? 212 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:40,010 那是機密 他們有個超級棒的星期五餐廳! That's classified. They have wonderful TGIFridays! 213 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:44,120 好啦 甘露奶油百利 Alright, kahlua, baileys and whipped cream. 214 00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:46,120 給你 吹管之樂雞尾酒 我... I give you, a blowjob. I'm- - - 215 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,120 - 為什麼要點這個? - 凱麗 凱麗 凱麗 凱麗... - Why do you make me make that? - Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly... 216 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:53,420 把這拿給巴克 告訴他是布斯送的 一點前戲 Take that over there to Buck, please and tell him it's from Booth. Little foreplay. 217 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:58,120 - 你這什麼意思? - 沒啥 就玩玩他們 - Remind me what good will come of this? - I don't take the shits, I just disturb them. 218 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:01,120 你他媽想幹啥? What you want? 219 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:07,120 - 乾杯 為你的健康 - 去你媽的 - Cheers. To your health. - Fuck you. 220 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,120 那凳子是我新買的 That's a new stool. 221 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,120 你他媽給我老實呆這吧 Stay the fuck down. 222 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,220 行了 靠邊 靠邊 Alright, move, move, move, move. 223 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,320 巴克 一邊去 Buck, go rest. 224 00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:33,120 沒事 他還喘氣呢 Yap, He's still breathing. 225 00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:39,120 今天沒人贏 幹得好 韋德 Nobody wins today. Nice try, Wade. 226 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,120 好吧 我今天賭的布斯會死 你賭的誰? You got me. I picked Booth in the dead pool. Who did you pick? 227 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:48,120 - 呃 韋德 這個... - 不 你不是賭的我死吧 - You know, Wade, about that.... - No. You did not bet on me to die. 228 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 威爾森 韋德 229 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 戴夫 230 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 考斯比.B 231 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 傑克 232 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 希恩. C 233 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 維斯爾 234 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,910 韋斯特. K 235 00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:54,920 你還真賭我死啊 哇 你麻痹 你這朋友做的真次 You bet on me to die. Wow. Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend. 236 00:19:55,120 --> 00:20:00,120 你肯定輸了 我要活到102歲 然後才死在底特律的街頭 Well, joke's on you. I'm living to 102. And then die. At the city of Detroit. 237 00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:03,920 對不起 我只是想贏點錢 我什麼都沒贏過 Sorry. I wanted to win money. I never win anything. 238 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:08,120 - 隨便吧 - 雇傭兵們 這輪我請! - 耶! - Whatever. Soldiers of fortune, drink's on me! - Yeah! 239 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,120 只限國產酒!進口的不算 Domestic! Nothing imported. 240 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:16,150 哇哇哇 寶貝 Woah, woah, woah. Baby... 241 00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:18,270 有"你要都射出來麼?"的意思 242 00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:18,270 你要把錢都花了麼? Are you sure you wanna shoot your whole wad? 243 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,120 對 Tight. 244 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,120 有"硬了"的意思 245 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,620 - 溫妮薩 - 韋德 - Vanessa. - Wade. 246 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,120 你這麼個大美女在這幹嘛? What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this? 247 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:31,120 我拍的 I'd hit that. 248 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:36,120 巴克 你最好道歉否則我... 呃 這個... Buck, you'd best apologize before... yeah. That. 249 00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:39,120 - 念咒語吧 肥道夫 - 對不起 - Say the magic words, fat Gandalf. - I'm sorry. 250 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:43,120 - 深呼吸 - 我說話不經過大... - Breathe through the nose. - I don't have a filter between my brain and my... 251 00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:47,120 好了 嘿 老天保佑蛋蛋 他已經道歉了! Okay, hey. Hakuna his tatas, he's sorry! 252 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:52,120 - 滾吧 念咒去吧 - 嘿 把手從貨上拿開 - Get outta here. Go cast a spell. - Hey, hands off the merchandise. 253 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:57,120 貨 哈~ 所以你... Merchandise, huh. So you... 254 00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:00,120 - 有錢才有樂子哈? - 對 - Fun fuzzies for money? - Yup. 255 00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:03,820 - 悲慘的童年? - 比你的慘 我還沒出生我爸就死了 - Rough childhood? - Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born. 256 00:21:04,650 --> 00:21:06,280 我媽懷我之前我爸就跑了 Daddy left before I was conceived. 257 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:10,490 - 在身上燙過煙花? - 要不然還能在哪? - Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin? - Where else do you put one out? 258 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:13,580 - 我被性騷擾過 - 我也有過 被我叔叔 - I was molested. - Me, too. Uncle. 259 00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,830 叔叔們 輪奸 Uncles. They took turns. 260 00:21:16,030 --> 00:21:19,800 我被所在櫥櫃裡透過鎖眼看我自己的生日聚會 而那櫥櫃正好是... I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet which also happens to be my... 261 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:23,120 你的臥室 挺好了 我睡在洗碗機裡 Your bedroom. Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher box. 262 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,670 你還有個洗碗機 我都沒睡過覺 You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep. 263 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:30,040 我全天候戴球嘴枷 被雞奸 做小丑色情表演 It was pretty much 24/7 ball kegs, brownie mix and clown porn. 264 00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:35,180 誰會這麼幹? Who would do such a thing? 265 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,120 希望能是你 晚上見? Hopefully, you. Later tonight? 266 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:51,080 275刀和優酪乳優惠卡能換什麼? What can I get for 275 dollars and a yogurt rewards card? 267 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,910 寶貝 48分鐘你想幹什麼就幹什麼 Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. 268 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:57,000 再加上低脂甜點 And a low- fat dessert. 269 00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:06,550 她不是把禮品卡塞你嘴巴裡吧？ Did she just put a gift card in your mouth? 270 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,120 到了把蛋蛋放到洞洞的時候了 It's time to put balls in holes. 271 00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:14,060 - 你之前說了我想要什麼都可 - 我知道 - You said whatever I want. - I get it. 272 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:18,150 比起看卡戴珊的那兩個球 你還是更喜歡看籃球是吧 You love ski ball. Apparently more than you love vagina. 273 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:19,590 這兩個都不錯 That's a tough call. 274 00:22:20,690 --> 00:22:22,660 我只是想瞭解真實的你 I just wanna get to know the real you. 275 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:26,660 而不是好萊塢式的一夜情 Not the short- shorted 2- dimensional sex object peddled by Hollywood. 276 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,240 把球扔到洞裡去 Balls in holes. 277 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,120 - 輸了別喊爹啊 - 我就呵呵了 - Prepare to lose tragically. - Bring it, big man. 278 00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:44,920 一份限定版的戰神金剛 防禦者指環 謝謝 A limited edition Voltron: Defender of the Universe ring, por favor. 279 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,120 稍等一下 Okay. Here you go. 280 00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:50,300 我他媽早就想要這個東西了 I had this sucker for a while. 281 00:22:50,930 --> 00:22:53,550 - 給我個橡皮擦就好了 - 沒問題 - And I will take the pencil eraser. - Okay. 282 00:22:53,760 --> 00:23:00,120 現在你就是阿魯斯星球的保護者 而你可以擦掉任何鉛筆寫下的東西 You are now the proud protector of the planet Arus. And you, can erase stuff. Written in pencil. 283 00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:05,120 - 女士 - 我很不願意告訴你這個消息 但是你已經裝逼48分鐘了 - My lady. - I hate to break it to you, but your 48 minutes are up. 284 00:23:05,940 --> 00:23:08,490 我還能裝逼多久? How many more minutes could I get for this? 285 00:23:08,950 --> 00:23:13,120 順便說一下 5個迷你戰神金剛可以合成一個超大金剛 FYI, 5 mini lion bots come together to form 1 superbot 286 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:20,040 5個? 迷你金剛? 再給你三分鐘 - 成交 那剩下的2分37秒我們做什麼? - 5 mini lion bots? 3 minutes. - Deal. What do we do with the remaining 2:37? 287 00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:21,830 抱抱? Cuddle? 288 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:30,120 - 我們這樣可以多久? - 一整年? - How long can we keep this up? - All year? 289 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,120 情人節快樂 Happy Valentines' Day. 290 00:23:49,150 --> 00:23:52,120 - 農曆新年快樂 - 狗年大吉 - Happy Chinese New Year. - Year of the Dog. 291 00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:02,120 緩一緩 然後三八婦女節快樂 Relax... and happy International Women's Day. 292 00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:08,300 不 不 不 NO NO NO 293 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,120 大齋節快樂 Happy Lenten. 294 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,120 大齋節 基督教節欲禁食的節日 所以沒有啪啪啪 295 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:22,120 - 韋德！- 對不起 萬聖節快樂! - Wade! - Sorry. Happy Halloween! 296 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,120 感恩節快樂 Happy Thanksgiving. 297 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,120 我愛你 I love you. 298 00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:43,750 如果你的左腿是感恩節 那麼你的右腿就是耶誕節... If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas... 299 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,000 我想看一下你兩腿之間是什麼節日? Can I visit you between the holidays? 300 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,420 這件衣服真難看! That sweater is terrible! 301 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,120 但是紅色適合你 But red looks good on you. 302 00:24:53,220 --> 00:24:56,120 你穿的那件叫紅色 我的就像你充血眼睛裡的顏色 Red's your color. Mine's like the bloodshot in your eyes. 303 00:24:57,090 --> 00:24:59,350 - 等一下 我正在考慮 - 真的? - Listen. I've been thinking. - Really? 304 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,120 - 關於我們為什麼那麼的合拍 - 為什麼呢? - 'Bout why we're so good together. - Why is that? 305 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:08,120 瘋狂配瘋狂 牛了個逼了 Your crazy matches my crazy. Bigtime. 306 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:13,120 我們就好像兩塊拼圖 那種奇怪的凹凸邊緣. And we're like 2 jigsaw pieces. Weird curvy edges? 307 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:17,120 - 然後你把這兩塊拼起來 你就能看到整幅畫面 - 是滴 - You put them together and you can see the picture on top. - Right. 308 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:22,120 韋德...有件事情我一直計畫著想問你 Wade... There's something I've been meaning to ask you. 309 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,120 不過只是因為你一直沒打算問我 But only because you haven't gotten around to asking me. 310 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,080 你會....? Will you.... 311 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,120 - 把那個東西插到... - ...和我結婚? - Stick it up my- - - - ...Marry me? 312 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,120 額 烏鴉嘴 Uh... Jinx? 313 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,120 - 你把這個藏在哪裡了? - 哪兒都沒有藏 - Where were you hiding that? - Nowhere. 314 00:25:40,260 --> 00:25:43,060 - 他們說要一個月的工錢 所以...- 你是說? - They said 1- month salary, so ... - You mean... 315 00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:45,480 - 我願意 - 這是我的臺詞 - I do. - That's my line. 316 00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:52,780 - 我愛你 韋德 威爾森 - 其實你是說... 所以那個... - I love you, Wade Wilson. - You're supposed to... So that's a... 317 00:25:52,780 --> 00:25:54,120 - 哈哈是的 - Yes! - Woo! 318 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:55,510 太好了 Yes 319 00:25:58,010 --> 00:25:59,530 我感覺我就像一個小女生一樣! I feel just like a little girl! 320 00:26:04,810 --> 00:26:09,790 - 要是我就這樣抱著 不放手 - 就像猶達騎在盧克的背上一樣? - What if I just held on and never let go? - Just ride the bitch's back like Yoda on Luke. 321 00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:14,120 1977年的《星球大戰》和《帝國大反擊》還不是同一部電影 這個是常見的誤會 322 00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:14,120 - 星球大戰的玩笑! - 帝國大反擊啦! - Star Wars jokes! - Empire! 323 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,120 我勒個去 你就好像是我在電腦裡面造出來的一樣 Jesus Christ, it's like I made you in a computer! 324 00:26:24,770 --> 00:26:25,890 完美 Perfect 325 00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:33,120 小解一下 把它搖一下 對就這樣 Pee break. Shake it, yeah. 326 00:26:39,450 --> 00:26:40,120 事情是這樣的: Here's the thing 327 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:42,720 生活就好比是一部無盡的災難片 Life is an endless series of train wrecks 328 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,120 幸福就好像其中插播的商業廣告一般短暫 with only brief commercial- like breaks of happiness. 329 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:50,120 然而現在已經到了最後的廣告插播時間 This had been the ultimate commercial break. 330 00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:55,800 這意味著 我們要開始說我們真正的故事了 Which meant it was time to return, to our regularly scheduled programme. 331 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,630 - 什麼鬼...- 我的天啊 韋德! - What the fu..... - Oh my God, Wade!- 332 00:27:05,070 --> 00:27:09,550 你正在賣萌 你到底是不是在賣萌 我感覺到了你在賣萌 You're clowning. You're not clowning. I sense clowns. 333 00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:13,120 人們對於癌症晚期消息的反應一般都不太一樣. People react to news of late- stage cancer differently. 334 00:27:13,220 --> 00:27:18,120 當然我們還是有一些能做的事情 新藥物的研發一直在進行當中 There are certainly options we can look into. New drugs are being developed every day. 335 00:27:22,590 --> 00:27:26,120 我們現在該怎麼做? 我們一定可以做一些什麼 So what do we do? Surely, there is something we can do. 336 00:27:27,730 --> 00:27:30,130 我的叔叔伊凡被診斷出甲狀腺癌 My Uncle Ivan was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer 337 00:27:30,130 --> 00:27:32,770 然後有一大堆德國進口的實驗藥物用來治療他... and there were all these experimental drugs from Germany... 338 00:27:32,940 --> 00:27:36,670 溫妮薩已經開始著手進行全方面的計畫了 Vanessa's already working on plan A, B, all the way through Z. 339 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:43,320 我? 我就在回憶她臉部的細節 就好像我們第一次見面一樣 Me? I'm memorizing the details of her face. Like it's the first time I'm seeing it. 340 00:27:44,470 --> 00:27:46,850 - 或許是最後一次... - 威爾森先生 - Or the last... - Mr. Wilson 341 00:27:46,930 --> 00:27:48,020 威爾森先生? -Mr. Wilson? 342 00:27:48,810 --> 00:27:50,850 花點時間去消化一下 現在一定靜下心來 確保不要做魯莽行事 Take your time to process this. 343 00:27:52,190 --> 00:27:54,150 現在一定靜下心來 確保不要做魯莽行事 It's important not to do anything rash. 344 00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:11,000 如果現在我是一個名叫弗蘭西斯200磅重的混蛋 我會藏在哪裡? Now, if I were a 200 pound sack of assholes named Francis, where would I hide? 345 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:41,600 "當來自薩斯喀徹爾里賈納的新秀韋德•威爾遜的出現 "A hush falls over the crowd as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson out of Regina, 346 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,040 現場鴉雀無聲 準備他的最後一擊" Saskatchewan, lines up the shot." 347 00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:47,120 "他看起來狀態很不錯." "His form looks good." 348 00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:53,960 里賈納和陰帝發音類似 349 00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:53,960 "這就是為什麼里賈納的梗那麼搞笑" "And that's why Regina rhymes with fun." 350 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:59,050 "女士們先生們 你們現在看到是甜蜜踢蛋蛋復仇!" "Ladies and gentlemen, what you're witnessing is sweet, dick- kicking revenge!" 351 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:03,120 "看他做的怎麼樣! 哇又來一下!" "Giving him the business! Incoming!" 352 00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:07,890 "這把違反體育道德的行為提高到了一個新的境界!" "This is taking unsportsman- like conduct to a whole new level!" 353 00:29:12,870 --> 00:29:14,640 看起來不錯啊 弗蘭西斯 休息的也挺好 Looking good, Francis. Well- rested. 354 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,470 就像你一直在投球而不是接球啊 Like you've been pitching, not catching. 355 00:29:17,170 --> 00:29:19,120 記起來什麼了嗎? 沒? Ringing any bells? No? 356 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,120 現在呢? How 'bout now? 357 00:29:29,220 --> 00:29:31,620 他媽的韋德威爾森 Wade fucking Wilson. 358 00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:38,620 - 你好 美人 - 是啊 我看起來就像被帶輻射的沙皮狗咬過一樣 - Well, hello, gorgeous. - Yeah, like I got bit by a radioactive Shar Pei. 359 00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:38,620 這是蜘蛛俠被輻射蜘蛛咬過的梗 360 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,700 這是誰的過錯 那麼弗蘭西斯? And whose fault is that, huh, Francis? 361 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,570 是時候消除你對這個白玉的臉頰所做過的事情了 Time to undo what you did to this butter face. 362 00:29:43,620 --> 00:29:48,620 你應該謝謝我才對 我讓你變成不死之身 話說我還挺羡慕你的 You should thank me. Apparently, I've made you immortal. I'm actually quite jealous. 363 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,120 道理是對的 但是這張臉值得活下去嗎? 是不是? 現在... Yeah, but this ain't a life worth living, is it? Now... 364 00:29:52,620 --> 00:29:57,620 我現在要對你做的就好像軟餅乾樂隊對90世紀的音樂做的那樣 I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90's. 365 00:29:59,860 --> 00:30:00,620 老爹? Dad? 366 00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:08,110 我認為我們都同意這個觀點 - 嚇人總得把別人嚇尿才行 I think we can all agree that shit just went sideways in the most colossal way. 367 00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:11,220 也許還有更讓我尿炸的事情 Well, maybe not the most. 368 00:30:12,870 --> 00:30:15,120 這個是我最有價值的寶貝 This, is my most prized possession. 369 00:30:16,540 --> 00:30:19,330 - 威猛? - 不 不 不 不 是威猛~~~~ - Wham? - No, no, no, no. WHAM! 370 00:30:19,380 --> 00:30:22,620 Make it Big 是喬治和安迪的成名唱片 Make It Big is the album that George and Andy earned the exclamation point. 371 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,620 我是不是就是面帶微笑然後在門外像你拜拜手? So, am I supposed to just smile and wave you out the door? 372 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,620 你就把它想像成迎新除舊 就好像把死亡除個舊一樣 Think of it like spring cleaning. Only if spring was death. 373 00:30:30,090 --> 00:30:34,270 要是我每次我想著伯納黛特打飛機時都能得五美分我就發達了 God, if I had a nickel for everytime I spanked at the Bernadette Peters. 374 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,850 看起來你是有這麼做過 伯納黛特哪裡也不去 Sounds like you have. Bernadette is not going... 375 00:30:38,850 --> 00:30:41,150 ...因為你也不會去任何地方 ...anywhere, because you're not going anywhere. 376 00:30:41,790 --> 00:30:43,090 - 乾杯 - 你說的沒錯 - Drink. - You're right. 377 00:30:43,130 --> 00:30:45,260 癌細胞只是在我肝 肺 前列腺 大腦 Cancer's only in my liver, lungs, prostate and brain. 378 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:46,700 沒有這些我貌似也能活下來 All things I can live without. 379 00:30:48,790 --> 00:30:54,690 你屬於這個家 這個有戰神金剛 你的伯納黛特 和我的這個家 You belong here at home. Surrounded by your Voltron, and your Bernadette and your me. 380 00:30:54,790 --> 00:30:59,790 聽著 我們都知道癌症看上去很糟糕 Listen, we both know that cancer is a shit show. 381 00:31:00,230 --> 00:31:04,340 就像雅科夫·斯米諾夫在愛荷華州博覽會上 Like a Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spindoctors 382 00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:07,010 給音樂會做的開場演出那種 渣秀! at the Iowa State Fair. Shit show! 383 00:31:07,090 --> 00:31:11,350 所以無論如何我都不會帶你去 And under no circumstances will I take you... 384 00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:13,420 看那場秀 to that show. 385 00:31:13,780 --> 00:31:18,730 我想讓你記住的是我 而不是聖誕夜的一念之情 I want you to remember me, not the Ghost of Christmas Me 386 00:31:18,850 --> 00:31:21,520 - 我想要記住"我們" - 我發誓 - Well, I wanna remember 'us'. - I swear to God, 387 00:31:21,550 --> 00:31:23,860 下輩子我會在你的窗前播放 I'll find you in the next life and I'm gonna boombox 388 00:31:23,930 --> 00:31:27,270 《無心快語》這首歌 哇奧! 'Careless Whisper' outside your window Wham! 389 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,680 好啦! 別說什麼放音樂的鬼話了 No one is boomboxing shit! OK? 390 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,430 我們一定能共度難關的 We can fight this. 391 00:31:41,430 --> 00:31:43,430 況且 我意識到 Besides,I just realize something. 392 00:31:44,230 --> 00:31:49,530 你好了 你的生活就正式比我屌多了 You win,your life is officially way more fuck up than my. 393 00:31:53,430 --> 00:31:55,030 我愛你 I love you. 394 00:32:09,710 --> 00:32:13,680 - 嗨 維斯 - 看起來你需要來個吹簫加沐浴放鬆一下 - Hello, Weas' - Looks like you need a blowjob and a shower 395 00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:16,090 禮貌一點應該先沐浴 對吧 Courtesy calls for the latter, first. 396 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,370 來3杯雞尾酒怎麼樣 或者... How about 3 shots of Patron. - Or... 397 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,730 來份冰草屬小麥營養植物如何 對免疫系統有好處 how 'bout 'triticum aestivum', wheat grass. Excellent for the immune system. 398 00:32:22,790 --> 00:32:24,900 媽蛋 你怎麼和溫妮莎一樣煩 Jesus Christ, you sound like Vanessa! 399 00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:29,220 看吧 她找了一大把五顏六色的診所宣傳冊 Check it out, she sent away for all these colorful clinic brochures. 400 00:32:29,300 --> 00:32:31,590 我確定這些都是美國藥監局批准的 I'm sure they're all FDA approved. 401 00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:34,900 有車臣共和國的 去那不是沒病找病嗎 In Chechniya, isn't that where you go to 'get' cancer? 402 00:32:34,990 --> 00:32:37,830 還有中國的 墨西哥中部的 You got China and central Mexico. 403 00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,440 - 你知道「癌症」用西班牙語怎麼說嗎? - 不知道 You know how they say 'cancer' in Spanish? - No. 404 00:32:41,590 --> 00:32:45,070 - El癌症 - 噢 我居然猜不到 - 'El cancer'. - Oh, I could'a guessed that. 405 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,680 看看你當初多幸福啊 我保留這個你不介意吧 Look at how happy you look here. You mind if I keep this, 406 00:32:48,710 --> 00:32:51,850 我要把它裝訂起來才能記得 你活力四射的時候 put it up, so I can remember? When you looked alive. 407 00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,620 至少我就快要贏了 At least now I'm gonna win the deadpool. 408 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,380 而你卻要悲劇地死於癌症 Now that you're gonna die tragically of cancer. 409 00:32:56,460 --> 00:32:58,480 別說了維斯 謝謝 I got it Weas', thanks. 410 00:32:58,590 --> 00:33:00,070 噢... Oh... 411 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:03,970 還有 坐在那的傢伙來這找你 and that guy, over there, came in looking for you. 412 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,930 像個鐮刀死神的傢伙 Real Grim Reaper type. 413 00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:09,170 我不知道 也許能推動劇情吧 I dunno, might further the plot. 414 00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:15,220 - 布斯 - 韋德 - Boothe. - Wade. 415 00:33:20,050 --> 00:33:22,550 - 威爾森先生 - 你找我幹什麼? - Mr. Wilson. - How can I help you? 416 00:33:22,590 --> 00:33:25,440 只要不是拐賣兒童就行 Besides luring children into a panel van. 417 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,130 我知道你最近被診斷為癌症晚期 I understand you've recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 418 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,440 - 追蹤警告 - 這是我的工作 我也是給別人打工的 - Stalker alert. - It's my job. Recruitment. 419 00:33:33,270 --> 00:33:36,270 我很抱歉你有如此艱難的經歷 I'm sorry you've had such a tough go. 420 00:33:36,290 --> 00:33:38,100 但你是個戰士 But, you're a fighter. 421 00:33:38,130 --> 00:33:41,660 特種部隊: 41次完成目標 Special forces: 41 confirmed kills. 422 00:33:41,950 --> 00:33:45,710 每7周1次 像我這樣平頭的傢伙都差不多啊 One every seven weeks. Same rate most folks get a haircut. 423 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,980 嗯 這杯不錯 Mm, this'll wash the taste down. 424 00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:51,270 如此深刻難以忘記 It's tough to forget being so impressive. 425 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,200 而現在你和這些普通人瞎混 And now you spend your days sticking up for the little people. 426 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,250 是的 人們變了 你想要什麼? Yeah, people change. What do you want? 427 00:33:57,290 --> 00:34:01,240 我代表一個可能對你有説明的組織 I represent an organization that may be able to help. 428 00:34:02,220 --> 00:34:06,360 如果我說我們能治好你的癌症呢? What if I told you we can cure your cancer? 429 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:11,110 另外 賦予你多數人夢寐以求的能力 And, what's more, give you abilities most men only dream of. 430 00:34:14,150 --> 00:34:16,390 我覺得聽起來像是電視廣告 然而 I'd say that you sound like an infomercial, but, 431 00:34:16,570 --> 00:34:20,070 聽起來挺一般 感覺就是那種握力器 最多就是負重舉啞鈴 Not a good one, like Slapchop, more Shakeweighty. 432 00:34:20,450 --> 00:34:24,870 這個世界需要一個不同尋常的戰士 我們不只是會把你變得更好那麼簡單 The world needs extraordinary soldiers. We won't just make you better. 433 00:34:25,270 --> 00:34:28,070 我們會讓你變得遠比好來得更好 We will make you better than better. 434 00:34:29,570 --> 00:34:31,140 變成一個超級英雄 A superhero. 435 00:34:31,170 --> 00:34:35,890 聽著 史密斯探員 我過去嘗試過做個英雄 但是被揍得很慘 Look, Agent Smith, I tried the hero business and it left a mark. 436 00:34:36,470 --> 00:34:38,590 但是如果我真到的豁出命的時候 我會來找你 But if I ever hit fuck - it, I'll look you up. 437 00:34:39,870 --> 00:34:42,140 糟了 Oh. Shit. 438 00:34:42,260 --> 00:34:45,870 我們在500碼內有學校的地方 所以你懂得... We're within 500 yards of the school. So you may wanna, you know... 439 00:34:48,870 --> 00:34:50,870 他的酒錢他自己搞定 His drink's on him. 440 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:57,870 他說什麼? What'd he say? 441 00:35:21,190 --> 00:35:22,610 嗨 怎麼了? Hey, what's going on? 442 00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:28,300 不好意思 我做了個噩夢 連姆尼森壞爸爸的那種 Hey, sorry. I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. 443 00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:32,600 我夢到我綁架了他女兒 他從來沒有給過父愛的女兒 I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. 444 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,600 那個系列他們拍了三集 They made 3 of those movies. 445 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,600 有時候你會想 他到底是不是一個壞爸爸 At some point, you'd have to wonder if he's just a bad parent. 446 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,900 癌症最壞的部分不是它會對你身體多有害 The worst part about cancer isn't what it does to you. 447 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,600 而是它會對你所愛的人傷害 But what it does to the people you love. 448 00:36:10,050 --> 00:36:11,620 誰知道那傢伙會不會拯救我的命? Who knew if this guy could save my life? 449 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,660 但我知道這是唯一能救她的方法了 But I knew there's only one way that I could save hers. 450 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,190 難道這不是超級英雄該做的事情嗎? Isn't that what superheroes do? 451 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:37,900 好吧 來說說做超級英雄的好壞吧 Okay. Let's pro con this superhero thing. 452 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:45,340 好處: 打炮不要錢 乾洗店打折 永遠看不完的電影折扣券 Pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, 453 00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:48,430 包括那些小製作和好萊塢大片 both origin stories and larger, ensemble team movies. 454 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,500 壞處: 他們永遠是受掌控的小貓咪! Con: they're all lame- ass teacher's pets! 455 00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:56,690 - 你知道我能夠聽見你 - 不是和你說話 我是和他們在說話 - You know I can hear you. - Wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them. 456 00:36:56,770 --> 00:37:00,900 呆在那兒別動 你之前被警告過 死侍 Stay right here. You've been warned before, Deadpool. 457 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:07,120 這是及羞恥又魯莽的行為來運用你的能力 你們兩個都跟著我走 This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. You will both be coming with us. 458 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:13,000 聽著鋼力士 我現在沒有時間和自命清高的人說話 你是？ Look Colossus, I don't have time for the goody two- shoes bullshit right now. And you are? 459 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:16,500 黑後布裡安娜·希爾德布蘭 Negasonic Teenage Warhead. 460 00:37:16,630 --> 00:37:19,670 布裡安娜·希爾德布蘭- - - 這什麼鬼?! Negasonic Teenage- - - What the shit?! 461 00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,900 這名字碉堡了! That's the coolest name ever! 462 00:37:22,900 --> 00:37:26,900 - 所以你是他的那種夥伴嗎? 不 見習生而已 - So what, you're like his sidekick? - No. Trainee. 463 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:32,400 - 讓我猜猜 X 戰警留下了些什麼 屎一樣的資訊? - 那把你變成什麼了? - Let me guess, X- Men left you behind on what, shit detail? - What does that make you? 464 00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:35,900 假設你不在這裡布裡安娜·希爾德布蘭 我們可以交換一下名字嗎? Pretending you're not here, Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Can we trade names? 465 00:37:36,900 --> 00:37:40,700 - 我們可以走了嗎? - "聽著我還是一個姑娘!" - Can we go? - "Look! I'm a teenage girl!" 466 00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:44,680 "我才不想待在這個地方 我只是想要一個長長的帶有陰鬱的寧靜 "I'd rather be anywhere than here. I'm all about long, sullen silences, 467 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:48,550 帶著一些尖酸刻薄的評論 再是一個更長的寧靜" followed by mean comments, followed by more silences." 468 00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:54,250 所以怎麼樣? 長長的 帶有猶豫的寧靜? 還是尖酸的評論? 請開始吧 So what's it gonna be? Long, sullen silence? Or mean comment? Go on. 469 00:37:55,900 --> 00:38:01,900 - 你就當把我當成一個不會說話的箱子吧 - 我們不允許這樣做 死侍 悄悄地走吧 - You got me in a box here. - We can't allow this, Deadpool. Please, come quietly. 470 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,900 - 你這個大雞巴黑鐵人! - 你好不友好啊! - You big, chrome cockgobbler! - That's not nice. 471 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,900 你真的想搞砸這一切嗎? 相信我... You really got to fuck this up for me? Trust me... 472 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:13,900 這都是那個喘氣的胸屌男搞來的!他賊你媽邪惡! That wheezing bag of dick- tits has it coming! He's pure evil! 473 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,900 再說了 又沒人受傷 Besides, nobody's getting hurt. 474 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:25,900 這傢伙在我來之前已經在那兒了 That guy was already up there when I got here. 475 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:31,780 韋德 你可以做的比這個更好 加入我們 好好用你的能力 Wade, you are better than this. Join us, use your powers for good. 476 00:38:31,830 --> 00:38:32,290 當心 Heads up! 477 00:38:32,370 --> 00:38:33,660 - 做一個真正的超級英雄 - Be a superhero. 478 00:38:33,660 --> 00:38:37,430 - 聽著! 到了那天我決定變成邪惡打擊粉碎者並且 - Listen! The day I decide to be a crime- fighting shit- swizzler, 479 00:38:37,430 --> 00:38:41,300 房間裡充滿著那些訴求者 而我住的荷蘭大廈有著 who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners, at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, 480 00:38:41,300 --> 00:38:45,370 一個變態老禿頂的人時候 old, bald, heaven's gate looking motherfucker, 481 00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,450 我會送一份閃閃發光的好友申請 ! on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request. 482 00:38:49,450 --> 00:38:52,010 但是在那之前我會做我來之前就想做的事情 But until then, I'mma do what I came here to do. 483 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,600 - 要不 扇那婊子一耳光! - 韋德... - Either that, or slap the bitch out of you! - Wade... 484 00:38:55,770 --> 00:38:58,500 - 喂喂喂 傻帽侍! - 閉嘴 罪惡頭! - Hey. Hey, Douchepool! - Zip it, Sinead! 485 00:38:58,700 --> 00:39:00,900 我希望你正在... And I hope you're watching... 486 00:39:03,900 --> 00:39:05,900 非常不走運 Quite unfortunate. 487 00:39:09,610 --> 00:39:11,900 都你們害的! That does it! 488 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,290 為了祖國!加拿大! Canada! 489 00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:22,380 - 這可不妙 射你一臉! - 韋德 拜託 - That's not good. Cock shot! - Wade, please. 490 00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,900 擦 你那倒楣的妻子! Oh, your poor wife! 491 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,900 你真該停下來 You really should stop. 492 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,300 所有的恐龍都懼怕霸王龍 All the dinosaurs fear the T- Rex. 493 00:39:37,890 --> 00:39:42,060 - 這一擊絕不會再錯過了 大傢伙! - 丟人啊 - I promise this gets worse for you, big boy! - This is embarassing. 494 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,270 請太平點 Please. Stay down. 495 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:47,600 你有聽說過只要功夫深 鐵杵磨成針? Did you ever hear of the one- legged man in the ass- kicking contest? 496 00:39:47,700 --> 00:39:52,450 - 你他媽有關閉模式嗎? - 有的 就在雞巴旁邊 或者那是勃起模式? - Do you have 'off' switch? - Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the 'on' switch? 497 00:39:52,570 --> 00:39:53,200 夠了! Enough! 498 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,840 讓我們和教授談談 Let us go talk to the Professor. 499 00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:09,500 邁卡威還是斯圖爾特? 我時間線已經亂了... McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing... 500 00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:09,500 老的X教授演員名字叫邁卡威 而年輕版的演員叫斯圖爾特 501 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:16,810 - 不管死活 你都和我走! - 你會恢復的 你總是會的! - Dead or alive, you're coming with me! - You will recover, Wade. You always do. 502 00:40:21,350 --> 00:40:24,560 驚恐127小時中 主角登山時卡住了手 最後不得不自斷腕 503 00:40:21,350 --> 00:40:24,560 你看過"驚恐127小時"嗎? 嚴重劇透! Did you ever see "127 Hours"? Spoiler alert! 504 00:40:28,610 --> 00:40:30,860 我的天 真噁心 Oh my God. Nasty. 505 00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:38,790 顏射親愛的 上帝 你在嗎? 是我 瑪格麗特 Oh, there's the money shot, baby. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. 506 00:40:49,510 --> 00:40:51,760 人生 跌落穀底 Rock, meet bottom. 507 00:40:51,900 --> 00:40:55,400 當你的生命接近於窒息般爛的時候 When life ends up breathtakingly fucked, 508 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:59,240 一般你都能追溯回一個巨大的糟糕的決定 you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. 509 00:40:59,810 --> 00:41:01,900 這個把你送回屎堡盡頭路的決定 The one that sent you down the road to Shitsburg. 510 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,480 這個? 這個就是我的那個決定 This, well, this was mine. 511 00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:13,570 威爾森先生 沒有比能改變一個人更能夠撫慰我心情的事情了 Mr. Wilson. Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's. 512 00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:16,280 你終於下定覺醒了 You've finally hit fuck- it. 513 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:22,900 - 答應我請善待我 這樣以後我也可以善待別人 - 當然 - Just promise you'll do right by me. So I can do right by someone else. - Of course. 514 00:41:23,900 --> 00:41:28,900 別把我的戰服做成綠色的 也不要那麼動漫化 And please don't make the super- suit green. Or animated! 515 00:41:23,900 --> 00:41:28,900 調侃綠光俠 516 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:53,400 這地方看上去消過毒了 我的一個要求是不要用冰冷的手碰我 This place seems sanitary. My first request is warmer hands. 517 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,900 我擦這床是暖的 And Jesus! A warmer table. 518 00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:02,580 你真應該說一些讓我說舒心的話 朋友 比如豬肉和豆子什麼的 You should really come up with a safe word, fellas. I'm thinking 'pork and beans'. 519 00:42:06,370 --> 00:42:08,370 輕一點! Easy! 520 00:42:10,370 --> 00:42:12,210 你作為女性是不是有點過於強壯了? Aren't you a little strong for a lady? 521 00:42:13,190 --> 00:42:16,190 我正在呼喚我的雞巴 I'm calling Wang. 522 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:23,190 口欲滯留還是史泰龍粉? What's up with the matches? Oral fixation? Or just a big Stallone fan? 523 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:23,190 因為“天使”咬著火柴，而龍哥經常在大銀幕上咬著一根雞尾酒棍 524 00:42:24,190 --> 00:42:30,190 - 耐心點 天使 一切都很好 - 你是來這裡做夜間陪聊服務的還是什麼? - Patience, Angel. All in good time. - Are you here for the turn down service or what? 525 00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:33,000 我們這又來了一個愛說話的 We have another talker. 526 00:42:33,170 --> 00:42:35,070 我只是對於來到超級英雄營地的第一天有點興奮而已 I'm just excited about my first day at superhero camp. 527 00:42:35,140 --> 00:42:37,150 把他媽嘴閉上 Shut the fuck up. 528 00:42:40,190 --> 00:42:45,190 威爾森先生 我的名字是阿賈克斯 我來負責這間工作室 Mr. Wilson, my name's Ajax. I manage this workshop. 529 00:42:46,290 --> 00:42:49,880 所有我的歡迎詞過去一般都是用來委婉的表達 All of my welcome speeches used to be filled with euphemisms like, 530 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,630 “可能會有點痛” 可能會讓你不是很舒服“. "this may hurt a little," or "this might cause you some discomfort." 531 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,380 但是我今天就直接說了 這件工作室不是政府專案 But I'm going blunt. This workshop is not a government- led program. 532 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:03,100 這是一個私人研究所來再利用一些像你這樣的人轉變成 It's a private institution that turns reclamation projects like yourself into men of.... 533 00:43:03,190 --> 00:43:06,190 特殊能力 Extraordinary abilities. 534 00:43:07,190 --> 00:43:12,190 但是如果你認為超人能力是無痛得到的...錯! But if you think superhuman powers are acquired painlessly... Wrong. 535 00:43:12,690 --> 00:43:16,890 我將注射一管血漿用來啟動任何潛伏在DNA下面的變異基音 I'm injecting you with a serum that activates any mutant genes lurking in your DNA. 536 00:43:17,090 --> 00:43:22,190 為了是這個起作用 我們必須強制讓你進入極度焦慮狀態 For it to work, we need to subject you to extreme stress. 537 00:43:26,190 --> 00:43:30,190 你一定聽說這句名言"不把蛋打碎 哪得煎蛋餅" 所以我希望你 You've heard the whole, "make an omelet, break some eggs" bit, I hope. 538 00:43:31,170 --> 00:43:35,760 我馬上要弄疼你了 韋德 我之前在這裡也是一個病人 你知道 I'm about to hurt you, Wade. I was a patient here once myself, you know. 539 00:43:36,190 --> 00:43:41,190 這個療效對每個人都不一樣 這讓天使變得非人般強壯 The treatment affects everyone differently. It made Angel inhumanly strong. 540 00:43:42,190 --> 00:43:49,490 而我 它增強了我的反射神經 同時也燒了我的感觸神經我感覺不到疼痛了 In my case, it enhanced my reflexes, also scorched my nerve endings so I no longer feel pain. 541 00:43:51,850 --> 00:43:55,570 其實我什麼都感覺不到 And in fact, I no longer feel anything. 542 00:44:04,190 --> 00:44:08,190 謝謝! 你有一些東西塞在你牙縫裡了 Thank- - thank you! You have something in your teeth. 543 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:14,790 就在中間 一塊羅馬尼亞生菜什麼的 Right in the middle there, just... Nugget of romaine lettuce or something. 544 00:44:17,130 --> 00:44:18,840 這讓我不是很舒服很久了 It's been bothering me for a long time. 545 00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:25,690 你還是看了 話說 阿賈克斯是你的真名嗎? 因為聽上去像是編出來的 Made you look. Hey, is Ajax your actual name, because it sounds suspiciously made up. 546 00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:33,390 你的真名叫什麼? 凱文? 布魯斯? 斯考特? 米契? 還是巴斯爾菲力? What is it really? Kevin? Bruce? Scott? Mitch? Rickster? Is it Basil Faulty? 547 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:38,090 你就繼續吧 沒有人能帶著幽默活著走出去的 Joke away. One thing that never survives this place is your sense of humor. 548 00:44:38,190 --> 00:44:41,190 - 那我們走著瞧 - 沒問題 - We'll see about that. - I suppose we will. 549 00:44:42,740 --> 00:44:43,780 他就交給你了 He's all yours. 550 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:49,150 憋這樣 你就忍心讓我和這個沒什麼性格的羅茜·奧唐納共處一室? C'mon. You're gonna leave me all alone here with less angry Rosie O'Donnell? 551 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:49,150 羅茜·奧唐納 美國著名同性女主持人 常在節目裡黑人不眨眼 這裡諷刺隔壁的那個妹子 552 00:44:53,590 --> 00:44:55,480 接下來是這樣的 This is how it's going to work. 553 00:44:56,010 --> 00:44:58,950 因為在變異的過程中需要腎上腺素作為血清的催化劑 Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the serum 554 00:44:59,210 --> 00:45:01,280 所以我們需要讓你吃點苦頭 so we're gonna have to make you suffer. 555 00:45:02,590 --> 00:45:08,510 幸運的話 你的突變基因將會順利啟動並且以驚人的方式展現 If you're lucky, your mutant genes will activate and manifest in a spectacular fashion. 556 00:45:12,590 --> 00:45:15,590 反則 我們需要繼續折磨你 If not, well, we'll have to keep on hurting you. 557 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,590 每次的折磨都會不一樣 都比上次更痛苦 In new and different ways, each more painful than the last. 558 00:45:22,590 --> 00:45:25,590 直到你最終變異... Until you finally mutate... 559 00:45:26,590 --> 00:45:28,540 ...或者死亡 ... or die. 560 00:45:34,590 --> 00:45:41,590 - 你是說就像願望單一樣? - 沒錯 我他媽的想當個奧運火炬手 - You mean like a bucket list? - Like a fuck it list, I'd like to light a spiff off the Olympic torch. 561 00:45:41,690 --> 00:45:44,190 那記得把火炬傳給我 Acid to me, right after. 562 00:45:44,290 --> 00:45:50,590 別忘了這個：和WNBA的薩克拉門托君主隊的員們手把手裸體跳傘 Let's not forget: naked tandem base- jumping with the WNBA's Sacramento Monarchs. 563 00:45:44,290 --> 00:45:50,590 WNBA 是 美國國家女子職業籃球隊 564 00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,640 我的願望清單的事都是要求裸體完成的 Anything on my bucket list would involve public nudity. 565 00:45:54,190 --> 00:45:57,190 dutch oven 指兩個人在一張床上 你放屁後用被子捂住另一個人 逼他聞屁 566 00:45:54,190 --> 00:45:57,190 最後 希望送梅勒迪斯·巴克斯特一個荷蘭烤箱 Finally, giving Meredith Baxter Birney a dutch oven. 567 00:45:57,290 --> 00:46:01,690 不 是梅勒迪斯·巴克斯特送我一個荷蘭烤箱 No, receiving a dutch oven from Meredith Baxter Birney. 568 00:46:04,690 --> 00:46:09,030 這樣就可以為我的孩子們... 做香蕉煎餅... Making banana pancakes... For my kids... 569 00:46:12,580 --> 00:46:13,580 溫妮薩... Vanessa... 570 00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:19,840 我想見見溫妮薩 I wanna see Vanessa. 571 00:46:20,790 --> 00:46:24,690 哦 親愛的 雖然我不認識她 但是我還是很感動 Oh, lovely. I don't know about anyone else but, I'm touched. 572 00:46:24,790 --> 00:46:31,690 - 我們開個玩笑而已 - 別緊張 我鼓勵娛樂精神 - We're just joking. - No, no. It's okay. I encourage distractions. 573 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,690 我不希望你們對我們失去信心嘛 是吧? Wouldn't want you giving up on us now, would we? 574 00:46:34,690 --> 00:46:38,690 嘿 坎甯安 別信他放屁 一個叫弗蘭西斯的人... Hey, don't take any shit from him, Cunningham. How tough can he be... 575 00:46:40,230 --> 00:46:44,570 - 能有多大能耐... ? - 弗蘭西斯? - ... with a name like Francis? - Francis? 576 00:46:44,690 --> 00:46:49,690 這是他的真名 阿賈克斯是他在洗潔精上抄過來的 It's his legal name. He got Ajax from a dish soap. 577 00:46:52,580 --> 00:46:57,540 弗- 蘭- 西- 斯 - - - 我去! F- R- A- N- C- I- - - oops! 578 00:46:59,390 --> 00:47:02,690 從你實驗室服上扯下來的乾洗標籤 Snagged the dry cleaning tag off your lab coat. 579 00:47:02,790 --> 00:47:06,690 順帶說一下 也許我能幫你弄個超級英雄折扣喲 FYI, I can probably get you a superhero discount. 580 00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:10,690 - 你還真他媽的喋喋不休啊 - 謝謝 你是第一個這樣"誇"我的 - You are so relentlessly annoying. - Thanks. Never heard that before. 581 00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:16,140 你能不能給我閉上你的狗嘴 是要我幫你縫上是吧 Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up? Or I'll sew your pretty mouth shut. 582 00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,590 哦 如果我是你的話我就不會這樣做了 Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. 583 00:47:19,690 --> 00:47:22,350 看吧 這就是被你沒日沒夜折磨的後果 See, here's the problem with round- the- clock torture 584 00:47:22,350 --> 00:47:26,050 那就是你沒有更狠的招了 it's that you can't really step it up from there. 585 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:29,910 你是這樣想的? Is that what you think? 586 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:40,540 如果這樣都沒辦法啟動你的變異基因 那真沒有辦法了 If this doesn't unlock your mutation, then, well, nothing will. 587 00:47:41,170 --> 00:47:44,550 現在我們要做的是把你的艙內氧氣濃度降低 What we're gonna do is lower the oxygen concentration in the air 588 00:47:44,550 --> 00:47:46,920 給你帶來窒息感 to the exact point you feel like you're suffocating. 589 00:47:47,170 --> 00:47:52,690 如果你的腦電波活動減緩或者你快要昏迷了 我們才給你通氧 If your brain wave's slowing and you're about to pass out, then we'll turn up the O2. 590 00:47:52,790 --> 00:47:58,230 如果你的心率放緩 你急切的想呼吸的話 我們才給你供氧 If your heart rate slows meaning you're able to catch your breath, we'll turn it back down. 591 00:47:59,190 --> 00:48:03,110 而我們就會在這裡靜靜的看著你 And that's where we'll leave you. Right there. 592 00:48:03,690 --> 00:48:07,690 - 我之前還以為你們就是群屌人呢... - 你知道最有趣的是什麼? - I thought you guys were dicks before... - You know the funniest part of this? 593 00:48:08,690 --> 00:48:11,690 就是你仍然單純的想我們會把你變成超級英雄 You still think we're making you a superhero. 594 00:48:11,790 --> 00:48:18,490 就憑你? 我看你就是一坨屎吧 You? A dishonorable discharge? Hip deep in hookers? 595 00:48:18,690 --> 00:48:23,690 你毛都不是 再告訴你個小秘密 韋德... You're nothing. A little secret, Wade... 596 00:48:23,790 --> 00:48:27,690 這裡不製造超級英雄 這裡製造超級奴隸 This workshop doesn't make superheroes, we make superslaves. 597 00:48:28,690 --> 00:48:33,690 我們將會給你帶上監控項圈 然後把你賣給出價最高的人 We're gonna fit you with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. 598 00:48:33,790 --> 00:48:38,690 他們會讓你做什麼呢? 做恐怖分子? 讓你當傀儡戰士? And that's what they'll have you doing. Terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters. 599 00:48:40,690 --> 00:48:43,690 也許只是想讓你去幫他們剪草坪而已 Maybe just mow the occasional lawn. 600 00:48:44,690 --> 00:48:46,690 你他媽腦子有洞啊? What the fuck is wrong with you? 601 00:48:51,690 --> 00:48:57,390 你永遠回不了家了 現在你所剩的就是一張勇敢的臉 You're never going home after this. Now there's a brave face. 602 00:48:57,690 --> 00:49:00,690 等等 等等 等等... Wait, wait, wait... 603 00:49:01,690 --> 00:49:06,690 說真的 你牙上真的粘了東西 Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now. 604 00:49:07,690 --> 00:49:13,690 - 週末愉快 - 週末? 你確定要等到週末嗎? - Enjoy your weekend. - Weekend? Back up, weekend? 605 00:49:54,690 --> 00:49:59,690 我有說過這是愛情片嗎? 這其實是恐怖片 Did I say this was a love story? No. It's a horror movie. 606 00:50:15,690 --> 00:50:20,690 我去! 看起來真是慘不忍睹啊 Fucking hell! Looks like someone lost a shot at homecoming king. 607 00:50:20,790 --> 00:50:23,080 你對我做了什麼? What have you done to me? 608 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,610 我讓你體驗了頻臨死亡的感覺並且刺激了你的細胞 I've mainly raised your stress levels high enough to trigger a mutation. 609 00:50:26,790 --> 00:50:31,690 - 你這個該死的虐待狂 - 我治好了你 韋德 - You sadistic fuck! - I've cured you, Wade. 610 00:50:31,790 --> 00:50:37,690 現在你有一種可以自愈的細胞 可以把你的癌細胞迅速清除 Now your mutated cells can heal anything. Striking your cancer as fast as it can form. 611 00:50:38,690 --> 00:50:43,690 我以前見過這種副作用... 我能治好你的臉 Yeah, I've seen some other side effects before... I could cure them. 612 00:50:46,690 --> 00:50:48,690 但是你知道有趣的是什麼嗎? But where's the fun in that? 613 00:50:50,690 --> 00:50:53,690 現在我可以再折磨你 韋德 Now I'm gonna shut you in again, Wade. 614 00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:58,690 不是因為我必須折磨你 Not because I need to. 615 00:51:01,690 --> 00:51:03,690 單純是我願意折磨你 Because I want to. 616 00:51:17,690 --> 00:51:20,690 再見 開始吧 Farewell. Go ahead. 617 00:51:22,690 --> 00:51:25,690 你聞起來跟屎一樣 You already smell like shit. 618 00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:32,690 - 我操你媽... - 別這樣 冷靜... - Motherfucker... - That's alright, it's alright... 619 00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:39,690 我想我們已經賺到了不少錢了 出去吧 去走走 I think we have earned that one. You take off. Go on, off you go. 620 00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:52,690 小問題: Quick question: 621 00:51:54,690 --> 00:51:56,690 我叫什麼名字? What's my name? 622 00:52:01,690 --> 00:52:04,690 就知道你會不說話 Didn't think so. 623 00:52:05,690 --> 00:52:08,690 抱歉了 弗蘭西斯 我現在說不了話 Sorry, Francis. My lips are sealed. 624 00:54:04,250 --> 00:54:08,690 你不會殺我的 我是你臉的唯一救星 You don't wanna kill me. I'm the only one who can fix your ugly mug! 625 00:55:05,570 --> 00:55:06,690 我叫什麼名字? What's my name? 626 00:55:12,690 --> 00:55:14,690 韋德... Wade... 627 00:56:21,690 --> 00:56:29,690 我在這裡不但止治好了我的癌症... 我還得到了無限自愈的功能 I didn't just get the cure to el cancer... I got the cure to el everything. 628 00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:37,690 但是只有一件事情我很在意 But there was only one thing that really mattered. 629 00:57:58,690 --> 00:58:02,390 不行 我這麼醜 我不能和她在一起了 No way. I'm not making her life as ugly as mine. 630 00:58:02,590 --> 00:58:07,690 - 別這樣 韋德 不會那麼糟的 - 放屁 我現在就他媽是個怪物 - Come on, Wade, it can't be that bad. - Bullshit! I'm a monster inside now. 631 00:58:07,790 --> 00:58:11,390 - 我就該生活在那個該死的馬戲團裡 - 韋德 溫妮薩愛著你 - I belong in a fucking circus. - Wade, Vanessa loves you. 632 00:58:11,590 --> 00:58:14,690 - 她不會在乎你那 天啊 - 你喜歡這臉? - She doesn't care what you- - - Oh! - Do you like what you see? 633 00:58:14,790 --> 00:58:21,490 不 你看起來就像在一個牛油果在操一個更老更噁心的牛油果 No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado. 634 00:58:21,690 --> 00:58:24,050 一點也不溫柔 強操灰飛湮滅 Not gently. He was hate- fucking. 635 00:58:24,050 --> 00:58:26,380 這性宣洩雖然怎麼看怎麼不和諧 There was something wrong with the relationship 636 00:58:26,380 --> 00:58:29,880 但是這貌似是唯一不用暴力宣洩的結果 and that was their only catharsis without violence. 637 00:58:29,910 --> 00:58:35,180 然而那個能復原我帥帥的臉 幫我變異的那個英國佬 And the only guy who can fix this fugly mug is the British shitstick who ran the mutant factory. 638 00:58:35,180 --> 00:58:37,280 噗的一聲就不見了人! And he's gone- - - Poof! 639 00:58:37,490 --> 00:58:41,710 你得想想別的辦法吧 就現在來說 這個英國佬是你的唯一出路 You gotta do something to remedy this. 'Cause as of now, you only have one course of action: 640 00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:45,290 - 真他媽的對 要找到弗蘭西斯 - 去拍個恐怖片 - Damn straight. Find Francis. - Star in horror fims. 641 00:58:45,490 --> 00:58:48,490 - 什麼鬼? - 自己主演個恐怖片啊 - What? - Star in your own horror films. 642 00:58:48,590 --> 00:58:52,190 因為你看起來就像弗萊迪在和猶他州地圖顏交過的樣子 'Cause you look like Freddy Krueger face- fucked a topographical map of Utah. 643 00:58:48,590 --> 00:58:52,190 弗萊迪是能在人們睡夢中殺人的惡魔 是美國恐怖電影《猛鬼街》的大反派 644 00:58:53,090 --> 00:58:54,490 我準備這麼做: Here's what I'm actually gonna do: 645 00:58:54,590 --> 00:58:57,580 我要通過他的馬仔找到弗蘭西斯 I'm gonna work thru his crew until somebody gives up Francis 646 00:58:57,580 --> 00:59:01,780 逼他治好我的臉 然後在他頭上開個洞 讓我雞巴進去看看 force him to fix this, put a bullet in his skull, and fuck the brainhole. 647 00:59:01,790 --> 00:59:04,690 我可不想看到或者自己腦補了那樣的畫面 I don't wanna see that, or think of it again. But, 648 00:59:04,790 --> 00:59:07,690 - 但是那個混蛋以為你死了不是嗎? - 沒錯 - the douchebag does think you're dead, right? - Yeah. 649 00:59:07,790 --> 00:59:11,690 - 那太好了 你應該隱於人海當中 - 怎麼做 比如 帶個面具? - That's good. You should keep it that way. - What, like, wear a mask? 650 00:59:11,790 --> 00:59:18,690 沒錯 要非常厚的那種 一直帶著 抱歉 只是你太嚇人了 Yes, a very thick mask. All the time. I'm sorry, you're haunting. 651 00:59:18,790 --> 00:59:22,390 - 你的臉會讓人家做噩夢的 - 就像是張了牙的蛋蛋 - Your face is the stuff of nightmares. - Like a testicle with teeth. 652 00:59:22,490 --> 00:59:28,690 你會孤獨的死去 我是說 如果你能死的話 這樣你好我好大家好 You will die alone. I mean if you could die. Ideally. For others' sake. 653 00:59:28,790 --> 00:59:33,690 - 我會的 - 你還需要一套衣服和一個昵稱 譬如俏皮者韋德... - That'll do. - What you need now is a suit and a nickname, like Wade the Wisecracker... 654 00:59:33,790 --> 00:59:40,690 漫威諷刺漫畫刊 Not Brand Echh 裡超膽俠Daredevil 變成了”小膽俠”Scaredevil 655 00:59:33,790 --> 00:59:40,690 - ... 或者小膽俠 不死先生 哦 該死 - 怎麼了? - ... or Scaredevil, Mr. Neverdie. Oh, shit. - What? 656 00:59:41,690 --> 00:59:46,690 - 我發現我把所有的錢都壓在你身上 卻永遠不會贏了 - 死侍... - I put all my money on you, and now I just realized I'm never gonna win the.... - Deadpool... 657 00:59:41,690 --> 00:59:46,690 韋德的好友玩的是 Dead pool 這種打賭是賭誰先死 才對就可以贏得賭資 658 00:59:49,690 --> 00:59:52,690 這裡是模仿美國隊長起名 659 00:59:49,690 --> 00:59:52,690 死侍隊長 Captain Deadpool. 660 00:59:53,690 --> 00:59:56,690 不了 就叫死侍就好了 No. Just- just Deadpool. Yeah. 661 00:59:56,790 --> 01:00:02,690 敬你 死侍先生 這名字聽起來真他媽的賣座 To you, Mr. Pool. Deadpool. That sounds like a fuckin' franchise. 662 01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:08,050 ♪ Deadpool ♪ 663 01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:12,300 ♪ Deadpool ♪ 664 01:00:14,500 --> 01:00:16,300 ♪ Deadpool ♪ 665 01:00:16,690 --> 01:00:18,690 這個傢伙估計要瘋了! This shit's gonna have nuts in it! 666 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,850 ♪ They call me Deadpool, I'm hella fast ♪ 667 01:00:19,690 --> 01:00:21,690 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where's Francis? 668 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,850 ♪ Came to merc the bad guys, and get some ass ♪ 669 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000 ♪ Got blades for days, got guns galore ♪ 670 01:00:25,150 --> 01:00:27,470 ♪ Got combo moves, evades and more ♪ 671 01:00:34,820 --> 01:00:35,990 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where is Francis? 672 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:37,700 ♪ Run away, you know that I'll chase ♪ 673 01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:39,500 ♪ Every bad guy, put them right in their place ♪ 674 01:00:39,650 --> 01:00:41,650 ♪ Revenge, im gonna give you a taste ♪ 675 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,000 ♪ I'm sexy as hell, but I cover my face ♪ 676 01:00:44,690 --> 01:00:51,690 蘇打水和檸檬汁能去血漬 要不直接穿一身紅 蠢貨 Seltzer water and lemon for blood. Or wear red. Dumbass! 677 01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:56,320 ♪ Captain Deadpool ( Nah, just Deadpool ) ♪ 678 01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:58,500 ♪ Merc with a mouth, I can't die ♪ 679 01:00:58,700 --> 01:01:00,800 ♪ One foot in the grave but I'm still alive ♪ 680 01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:02,700 ♪ Try to kill me, I'll just revive ♪ 681 01:01:02,850 --> 01:01:04,600 ♪ Then I'll put another bullet right between your eyes ♪ 682 01:01:09,690 --> 01:01:11,690 我不想問第二次 Don't make me ask twice. 683 01:01:12,690 --> 01:01:15,690 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where is Francis? 684 01:01:15,790 --> 01:01:20,690 他非得讓我問第二次 是不是我的面具擋住了我的聲音? He made me ask twice. Is the mask muffling my voice? 685 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,500 ♪ I'm bout to take you all to school with guns and knives ♪ 686 01:01:23,750 --> 01:01:24,600 ♪ Deadpool ♪ 687 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:27,600 ♪ Telling jokes and breaking the rules, I came for the Taco's ♪ 688 01:01:25,370 --> 01:01:26,580 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where is Francis? 689 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,200 ♪ Playing with the ladies and the Family Jewels, but bust a nut ♪ 690 01:01:29,330 --> 01:01:31,410 弗蘭西斯他媽在哪裡? Where the fuck is Francis? 691 01:01:32,650 --> 01:01:35,500 ♪ Bout to throw down, with all these fools, so come and get some ♪ 692 01:01:39,690 --> 01:01:43,180 再不說我就要用磨冰機磨死你咯! You're about to be killed by a Zamboni! 693 01:01:43,310 --> 01:01:44,810 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where is Francis? 694 01:01:45,690 --> 01:01:50,690 - 求你了 不... - 哦 老天 我很抱歉 - No, please... - Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 695 01:01:51,690 --> 01:01:54,690 你他媽的是蜘"猴"俠! Little spider- monkey! 696 01:01:53,900 --> 01:01:56,700 ♪ The crazy ass guards are looking to duel, so click click boom ♪ 697 01:01:57,100 --> 01:01:57,650 ♪ Deadpool ♪ 698 01:01:57,400 --> 01:02:00,200 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Where is Francis? 699 01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,600 ♪ Taco's and Beers, always keeping it loose ♪ 700 01:01:59,820 --> 01:02:01,600 ♪ Hang on for a minute while I'm dropping a deuce ♪ 701 01:02:01,690 --> 01:02:08,690 我混亂了! 我打算性別歧視你嗎 我沒有打算歧視你吧 我被搞糊塗了! This is confusing! Is it sexist to hit you, is it more sexist to not hit you, the line gets real blurry! 702 01:02:08,790 --> 01:02:10,690 弗蘭西斯在哪裡? Donde esta Francesca? 703 01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:12,600 ♪ Sexy motherfucker ♪ 704 01:02:12,540 --> 01:02:17,690 快告訴我你那該死的老闆在哪裡! 你還有5分鐘時間 不然我幹死你! Tell me where your fucking boss is! Or you're gonna die! In 5 minutes! 705 01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:20,820 ♪ Sexy motherfucker ♪ 706 01:02:22,500 --> 01:02:24,700 ♪ Sexy motherfucker ♪ 707 01:02:45,580 --> 01:02:51,690 很高興見到你 傑拉德 我大槍等你等的"饑渴難耐" Nice to see you, Jared. I'll take a foot long. Fully loaded. 708 01:03:06,690 --> 01:03:13,190 - 我之前殺了41個 現在89個了 馬上就90咯 - 你是威爾遜先生? - 41 confirmed kills. Now it's 89, about to be 90. - Mr. Wilson? 709 01:03:14,690 --> 01:03:19,690 - 你看起來可真是生龍活虎啊 - 哈 外表看起來是的 - You're looking very alive. - Hah! Only on the outside. 710 01:03:19,790 --> 01:03:22,690 - 這事還沒完 - 沒錯 我這事跟你還沒完 - This is not going to end- - - - This is not gonna end well for you, no. 711 01:03:22,790 --> 01:03:25,690 - 你老闆在哪裡? - 我能給你他準確的位置 - Where's your boss? - I can tell you exactly where- - - 712 01:03:26,690 --> 01:03:33,690 你遲早會告訴我 但首先觀眾請轉移你們的目光 這頭小豬豬要... You'll tell me. But first, you might wanna look away for this. Now this little piggy went to... 713 01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,190 謝謝你 史密斯探員 Thank you, Agent Smith. 714 01:03:41,500 --> 01:03:42,690 的士! Taxi! 715 01:03:43,690 --> 01:03:46,690 上來吧! 今天特別適合兜風 Hop in! Great day for a ride. 716 01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:49,690 我們都知道接下來發生了什麼事情 And we all know how this turned out. 717 01:03:52,690 --> 01:03:54,690 哎呀 不應該讓你們看這個的 Whoops! You weren't meant to see that. 718 01:04:02,810 --> 01:04:04,690 好了 這就對了 There. All caught up. 719 01:04:15,470 --> 01:04:19,470 抱歉 我不小心把血滴在你的垃圾上了 Sorry! About bleeding at all your garbage. 720 01:04:24,470 --> 01:04:27,470 蘇打水和檸檬能去血漬 Seltzer water and lemon for blood. 721 01:04:28,950 --> 01:04:31,090 有些情緒是很難控制的 Some kinds of anger can't be managed. 722 01:04:31,590 --> 01:04:37,230 譬如你計畫了很久事 結果遇上了不該出現的人 最後還被截肢了! Like the kind where your year- long plan ends with the wrong guy getting dismembered! 723 01:04:37,570 --> 01:04:42,470 聽說 當你需要療傷時 沒有比家更好的地方了 That said, when it comes time to licking wounds, there's no place like home. 724 01:04:42,670 --> 01:04:44,380 我"家"裡還有一位我剛在洗衣房 And I am sure that "home" is someone you've meet 725 01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:46,880 認識的老女士 老艾 the old blind lady from the lunary, Al 726 01:04:47,310 --> 01:04:48,950 天啊 我真想念我的可卡因! god, I miss cocaine ! 727 01:04:49,580 --> 01:04:50,110 就是她! Her ! 728 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:53,820 像是在四面牆裡面打破四面牆 Forth wall break inside of forth wall break. 729 01:04:54,150 --> 01:04:56,790 總共是... 16面牆 That's likes... 16 walls. 730 01:04:57,190 --> 01:04:59,990 她就像是羅賓而我是蝙蝠俠 只是她很老 She is like robin and my batman, expect she is old, 731 01:05:00,220 --> 01:05:01,160 是個黑人 and black, 732 01:05:01,460 --> 01:05:02,590 而且還是瞎子 and blind. 733 01:05:02,590 --> 01:05:04,230 我覺得她已經愛上我了 And I think she is in love with me. 734 01:05:04,860 --> 01:05:07,970 等等 我不太確定羅賓愛的是蝙蝠俠 Wait, pretty sure robin loves batman too? 735 01:05:04,860 --> 01:05:07,970 羅賓和蝙蝠俠都是男的 1997年有一部叫<羅賓與蝙蝠俠>電影 736 01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,800 早上好 懶蟲 Morning, sleepyhead. 737 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:28,500 - 聞著像是老女人的褲子 - 沒錯 我很老 我穿了褲子 - It smells like old lady pants in here. - Yes I'm old, I wear pants. 738 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:31,800 但是你不是女人 哦 舒服 But you're no lady. Oh, so comfy. 739 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,820 作為盲人 我未見你穿過鱷魚洞洞鞋 Upside of being blind, I've never seen you in crocs. 740 01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:38,660 洞洞鞋有洞 自己想吧 741 01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:38,660 你是說我那雙又大 又軟 的自慰鞋麼? You mean my big, rubber, masturbating shoes? 742 01:05:38,690 --> 01:05:44,800 沒錯 我聽到了 盲人的缺點就是能聽到這間小房子的任何聲音 Yes I know. Downside of being blind, I hear everything in this duplex. 743 01:05:46,690 --> 01:05:49,800 - 我被人幹了 - 雲南白藥? - Sit on a stick. - Bactine? 744 01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:52,800 應該管用 Bactine should do it. 745 01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:58,800 那個庫倫系列的櫥櫃怎麼進來的? 畢竟宜家的貨都不是裝好的 How's that KULLEN coming along? Ikea doesn't assemble itself, you know. 746 01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:03,800 你說呢 我不介意庫倫系列的 它是郝德系列的改良版 You're telling me.I don't mind the Kullen. It's an improvement on the Hurdal. 747 01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,400 什麼都比郝德系列強好嗎 Anything's an improvement over the HURDAL. 748 01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:09,800 我寧願買個漢尼斯系列的 或者特呂西爾系列的 也不買郝德... I'd taken an HEMNES or a TRYSIL over the HURDAL. 749 01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,600 不 當初我看到庫倫系列的也就沒興奮過 No, I didn't get excited 'till I saw KULLEN. 750 01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:17,600 - 遞一下螺絲刀 謝謝 - 現在? 你開玩笑吧 你都幾十年看不到東西了 - Screw, please. - Here? Now? Just kidding. I know it's been decades. 751 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:20,800 - 你會驚訝的 - 你就算了吧 - You'd be surprised. - Pretty grossed out. 752 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:24,800 蹬蹬蹬蹬 Ta- - - - - - da... 753 01:06:30,580 --> 01:06:33,800 看來我需要58同城了 I wish I never heard, of Craigslist. 754 01:06:33,900 --> 01:06:38,260 你是想去登個廣告: "求瞎子室友一枚 要求熟悉"手活" " And I quote, "Looking for roommate, blind, and likes imperfections. Must be good with hands." 755 01:06:38,260 --> 01:06:40,560 還是我來負責安裝傢俱你來付房租? Or would you rather I build the Ikea and you pay rent? 756 01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:43,800 - 你今天怎麼這麼混蛋 - 我們來回顧一下: - Why such a douche this morning? - Let's recap: 757 01:06:43,900 --> 01:06:48,800 今天早上 那個把我變成這樣的那個雞巴從我手裡溜走了 The cock- fizzle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today. 758 01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:51,200 溜走了 Arm. 759 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,420 只有抓住了他 我才能回到我那性感女友身旁 Catching him was my only chance to be hot again 760 01:06:53,420 --> 01:06:56,890 而且防止這樣的事情發生在別人身上 get my super - sexy ex back and prevent this from happening to someone else. 761 01:06:56,900 --> 01:07:00,580 所以說 沒錯 今天我像拿了砂紙擼管一樣爽 So yeah, today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo. 762 01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,300 #放屁經過 #drive- by. 763 01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:24,800 我知道我們這位紅衣大俠是誰了 Found out who our friend in the red suit is. 764 01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:31,800 他媽的韋德•威爾森 如果我也長那樣 我也要戴個面具 Fucking Wade Wilson. Suppose I'd wear a mask, too, if I had a face like that. 765 01:07:31,900 --> 01:07:33,800 我只希望我能治好他 I only wish I'd heal the same. 766 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:41,410 但是 我們還得用老方法 讓他嘗嘗苦頭 Still, we'll put him out of our misery. On our terms. 767 01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:47,800 - 好吧 什麼時候治療他 - 沒辦法了 如果當初他沒跑就好了 - Right. And when he heals? - He can't. Not if there's nothing left of him to heal. 768 01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:52,800 你知道嗎 我都他媽的快忘了這個傻逼了 You know, it's funny. I almost missed the fucker. 769 01:07:53,800 --> 01:08:00,100 雖然我喜歡挑戰 但是這對生意不好 趕快找到他 I like a challenge. But he's bad for business. Now let's go find him. 770 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,800 - 來點撲熱息痛? - 你給我噴的雲那白藥還在上面呢 - Tylenol PM? - It sticks back where you stuck the Bactine. 771 01:08:08,900 --> 01:08:15,800 我的腦袋現在還在圍著那他媽的土星轉呢 I raided my stash of wisdom just to take a sec and I am orbiting fucking Saturn right now. 772 01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:20,800 但是感謝你的關心 But I appreciate the gesture. 773 01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:25,800 是我瘋了 還是你的手真的這麼小? Am I crazy? Or is your hand really small? 774 01:08:25,900 --> 01:08:28,800 跟肯德基的勺子一個尺寸 About the size of a KFC spork. 775 01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:31,690 我知道你為什那麼生氣 I get why you're so pissy 776 01:08:32,290 --> 01:08:36,490 但是你不和她說明白發生了什麼事 你的心情就不會好起來 but your mood's never gonna brighten 'till you find this woman and tell her how you feel. 777 01:08:36,490 --> 01:08:39,560 我不告訴她的原因就是因為她不可能接受我的 What do I keep telling you, Mrs. McGoo? She wouldn't have me. 778 01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:41,690 如果你能看見我的樣子 你會懂我的意思的 If you could see me, you'd understand. 779 01:08:41,900 --> 01:08:46,300 - 外表不代表一切啊 ! - 外表就是一切! 你沒聽過貝克漢姆說話嗎? - Looks aren't everything. - Looks are everything! Ever heard David Beckham speak? 780 01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:48,520 他說話就像跟和氦氣口交一樣 It's like he mouth- sexed a can of helium. 781 01:08:48,860 --> 01:08:51,920 你以為他能和瑞恩•雷諾茲走在一起是靠演技的嗎? You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method? 782 01:08:48,860 --> 01:08:51,920 瑞恩•雷諾茲 飾演 死侍 783 01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:54,300 - 愛會使人盲目 韋德 - 不... - Love is blind, Wade. - No... 784 01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:56,800 你是盲目的 You're blind. 785 01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:56,800 也可以是"你是瞎的"的意思 786 01:08:57,320 --> 01:09:00,560 所以說你就準備賴在這裡繼續唧唧歪歪的咯? So you're just gonna lie there and whimper? 787 01:09:00,620 --> 01:09:02,820 不 我準備等我這只小手度過了它的青春期 No, I'm gonna wait 'till this arm plows through puberty 788 01:09:02,820 --> 01:09:04,790 然後再制定一個全新的耶誕節行動計畫 and then I'll come up with a whole, new Christmas day plan. 789 01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:08,090 與此同時 你也許會想要離開這間房子 In the meantime, you might wanna leave the room. 790 01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:11,060 我猜用我的小手摸你的胸一定感覺很大 I bet it feels huge in this hand. 791 01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,800 走 走 快走吧 .. Go, go, go, go, go... 792 01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:19,020 那個醫生說:"壞消息是你活不久了" So the doctor says, the bad news is you don't have that long to live. 793 01:09:19,020 --> 01:09:20,590 所以那個病人就問他還能活多久? So the patient says, how long do I have? 794 01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:23,800 醫生說 五 那人問 五什麼? The doctor says, five. The guys says, five what? 795 01:09:23,900 --> 01:09:27,800 醫生接著說 四 三 二... The doctor says, 4, 3, 2... 796 01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:36,400 女士們 有什麼能幫到你? Can I help you ladies? 797 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:40,800 哦 當然了 Oh, I do hope so. 798 01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:48,800 聽說你能告訴我我的一個朋友在哪裡 Now, I heard you might be able to point me in the direction of a, a friend of mine. 799 01:09:48,900 --> 01:09:50,800 他叫韋德•威爾森 Name of Wade Wilson. 800 01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:54,800 抱歉 沒聽過這個人 Sorry, I don't know the name. 801 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,670 嘿 你不能進吧台裡面的 Hey, you're not supposed to be behind the bar. 802 01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:12,800 - 我見過這個女的 - 想必這就是溫妮薩 我聽說過很多有關她的事 - I've seen this girl. - This must be Vanessa. I've heard so much about you. 803 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:21,800 親愛的 你最好看看周圍 這裡不太適合做這樣的事吧 Sweetheart, you might wanna look around. This isn't really the place to do something like that. 804 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,800 放鬆 安琪 放那個小個子下來吧 Easy, Angel. Put the little man down. 805 01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:30,800 - 我們已經找到所有需要的東西了 - 你確定? - We have everything we need now. - You sure? 806 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,800 你不想來件好看點的衣服? You don't want any clothes that are not monochromatic? 807 01:10:34,900 --> 01:10:37,800 希望你享受《刀鋒戰士II》的午夜秀 There's a midnight showing of Blade II. 808 01:10:34,900 --> 01:10:37,800 諷刺他穿的大衣 809 01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:43,800 謝謝你們剛才幫我 夥計們 Thanks for having my back, guys. 810 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:52,300 韋德 我們他媽的有麻煩了 我們指的是你 你有麻煩了 Wade, we have a fucking problem, and by we, I mean you. 811 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:54,860 我不敢相信要這樣去見她 I can't believe we're doing this. 812 01:10:55,860 --> 01:10:58,560 有沒有什麼詞能形容一半害怕 一半生氣? Is there a word for half- afraid, half- angry? 813 01:10:58,900 --> 01:11:01,800 也許"害氣"可以吧 你準備好見面要和她說什麼了嗎? "Afrangry", I guess. Have you decided what you're gonna say to her? 814 01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:05,760 - 我操! - 這樣說不太好吧 - Fuck me! - Maybe not start with that. 815 01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:17,490 嘿 都到舞池邊來 別害羞 都放開了玩吧! Hey, coming on to our stage right now, give it up for Chastity! 816 01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:23,520 要不像我以前一樣打電話找她吧 開個玩笑 Or as I like to call her, Irony. 817 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,760 得快點找到她 以免那個傻逼先下手了 I gotta find her fast, before numb nuts does. 818 01:11:25,900 --> 01:11:30,800 - 你怎麼知道她在這裡? - 這裡有一些她去哪就跟到哪的客人 - How do you know she's in here? - Some customer stalking that fox. 819 01:11:55,370 --> 01:11:58,800 每一次見她 都宛如"初次" Every time I see her, it's like the first time. 820 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:01,800 特別是從這個角度 Especially from this angle. 821 01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:29,320 雖然錢不能買到愛情 但是可以租個三分鐘 You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes. 822 01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:34,800 你這個弱雞! You weak motherfucker! 823 01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:40,800 振作起來 不為你自己 為了溫妮莎 C'mon. Get it together, this isn't about you, this is about Vanessa. 824 01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:46,800 要上了 Here we go. 825 01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:50,800 最大努力 Maximum effort. 826 01:12:54,890 --> 01:12:55,640 溫妮莎! Vanessa! 827 01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:02,730 有人在後門外找你 關於...一個舊男友的事 Someone out back asking for you. Something about... an old boyfriend? 828 01:13:30,220 --> 01:13:34,800 我就知道是你 因為我們就像契合的拼板 I knew it was you. 'Cause we're weird curvy edges. 829 01:13:36,390 --> 01:13:38,060 能組成一幅拼圖 Like a jigsaw puzzle. 830 01:13:48,530 --> 01:13:50,740 韋德·威爾森 聽到你這話一定會很感激 You have Wade Wilson to thank for this. 831 01:13:59,410 --> 01:14:04,290 - 嘿 她去哪了? - 我看見她往後面走了 去找她吧 猛男 - Hey, where did she go? - I saw her head to the back. Go get her, tiger. 832 01:13:59,410 --> 01:14:04,290 Go get her, tiger 蜘蛛俠電影經典臺詞 833 01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:34,070 我去年買了個表! Motherfucker! 834 01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:36,100 - 韋德 韋德... - 登山包 - Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade... - Cunt! Chocolate- - - 835 01:14:36,300 --> 01:14:41,300 - 超耐磨! - 我們商量商量... 算了你直接打吧... - Jiminy- - - - Fuck! Fuck! - We can talk... or you can hit that... 836 01:14:46,300 --> 01:14:49,300 - 喔! 喔! - 放鬆 放鬆一點 好吧... - Whoa! Whoa! - Relax, relax. Okay... 837 01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:56,300 幹他娘的 找到它 不然我發起火來連自己都害怕 I'm gonna rip his motherfucking- - find that, find it, or I'm gonna get angry. 838 01:14:58,300 --> 01:15:02,200 看 是溫妮莎 不 等等 是 弗蘭西斯 Here, this is Vanessa. No, wait, it's Francis. 839 01:15:02,300 --> 01:15:05,140 - 他想讓你去見他 - 那是什麼? - He wants you to come to him. - What is that? 840 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:08,720 那是屎的表情 一坨有笑臉的便便 That's the shit emoji. It's the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. 841 01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:11,160 我一直以來都以為是巧克力優酪乳來著 I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long. 842 01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:14,300 - 我需要槍 - 好 哪一把? - I need guns. - Okay, which ones? 843 01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:17,300 - 我要所有的槍! - 好吧 - I need all the guns! - All right, okay. 844 01:15:37,550 --> 01:15:41,680 - 差不多有三千發彈藥 - 你我都知道12發就夠了 - That's about 3000 rounds. - And we all know what I can do with 12. 845 01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:45,300 注：Ronnie Milsap 羅尼·米薩普 美國鄉村音樂的傳奇, 自幼雙目失明 846 01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:45,300 嘿 小心點 音樂大師 我們這試射呢 Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap, we're downrange. 847 01:15:46,770 --> 01:15:51,300 我原本打算花整晚去裝那個茶几的 但是貌似你這裡更有趣 I was gonna spend the night assembling the Borje but this is holding my interest. 848 01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:53,660 - 我告訴過你的 我們要電視櫃 - I told you, we're going with the Urvaj, 849 01:15:53,660 --> 01:15:57,190 不要茶几 聽懂沒有 沒懂就給我滾出去! - 該死 not the Borje, get it thru your head or get outta Fucktown! - Shit. 850 01:15:57,400 --> 01:16:01,300 - 屋裡所有傢伙都在這了 - 等等 別開玩笑 都交出來吧 - That's all the pieces in the house. - No, no, no, come on. Let's go. Cough it up. 851 01:16:04,300 --> 01:16:07,300 - 交出來 - 去你的 - Down, down, down, down. - Fuck you. 852 01:16:08,300 --> 01:16:11,300 是0.25口徑 不錯我喜歡 25 cal. I like it. 853 01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:14,300 韋德... Wade... 854 01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:19,300 我願意和你一起去 但是... 我並不想去 I'd go with you, but... I don't wanna. 855 01:16:21,890 --> 01:16:24,300 哦 聽我說 老艾... Oh, listen, Al... 856 01:16:25,300 --> 01:16:30,300 如果我再也看不到你 我想讓你知道我很愛你 If I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. 857 01:16:31,300 --> 01:16:36,560 還有 這公寓裡埋了116公斤可卡因 And also, there's about 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment 858 01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:38,460 專治失明 right next to the cure for blindness. 859 01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:40,300 祝你好運 Good luck. 860 01:16:45,290 --> 01:16:46,450 要不要找找看? You wanna get fucked up? 861 01:16:56,300 --> 01:16:58,010 放她在那裡坐下 Put her down over here. 862 01:17:08,270 --> 01:17:09,100 繼續 Go on, then. 863 01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:17,800 - 謝謝你 木有JJ的人~我說的是你 - 你也是個話嘮 和韋德一樣 - Thanks, dickless. And I mean you. - You're a talker, too. You and Wade. 864 01:17:18,150 --> 01:17:23,120 我說過你們這幫混蛋找錯人了 我前男友已經死了 I've been trying to tell you assholes you got the wrong girl. My old boyfriend, he's dead. 865 01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:29,160 我也以為是這樣 但他總是找回來 就像個蟑螂 只是更醜了 See, I thought that, too. But he keeps on coming back. Like a cockroach, but uglier. 866 01:17:30,700 --> 01:17:37,460 現在我可能感覺不到 但他能 讓我們拭目以待 你命懸一線看他還怎麼打 Now, I may not feel, but he does. Let's see how he fights with your head on the block. 867 01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:49,560 - 你是《異形3》裡的雷普利! - 丟雷樓某 你真老土 - Ripley! From Alien 3! - Fuck, you're old. 868 01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:57,900 注：Silver balls 銀球是電影五十度灰裡一種 形如O- - O- - 的十分正(bian)常(tai)的女士玩具 869 01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:57,900 - 開玩笑! 別虧待自己了! 多搞幾個銀球吧! - 你這是要去吃飯?早餐特惠? - Fake laugh! Hiding real pain! Go get Silver balls. - You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? 870 01:17:58,100 --> 01:18:01,300 說的好像下午吃飯或者吃飯打折 有什麼問題一樣 非也 Like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money. No. 871 01:18:01,500 --> 01:18:05,800 你知道嗎? 你們放走的那個壞蛋 他搶走了我女票 You know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my girl. 872 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:10,290 - 你們必須幫我把她救回來 - 韋德? 是你嗎? - You're gonna help me get her back. - Wade? Is that you? 873 01:18:10,290 --> 01:18:14,200 是我 死侍 我有個不情之請 Yeah, it's me Deadpool, and I got an offer that you can't refuse! 874 01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:19,400 我就在這等了 這大房子! I'm gonna wait out here, okay? It's a big house! 875 01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:24,800 搞笑的是我只看見你們倆 就好像製片方沒錢再請一個X戰警一樣 It's funny that I only ever see 2 of you. It s almost like, the studio couldn't afford another X- Man. 876 01:18:26,430 --> 01:18:31,730 我一直覺得電影《魔繭》是純粹的愛情動作文藝片 And that, is why in my opinion, the movie Cocoon, is pure pornography. 877 01:18:32,730 --> 01:18:36,730 - 這個閃閃發亮的人是誰啊? - 閃亮且致命 - Who brought this twinkly man? - Twinkly, but deadly. 878 01:18:36,830 --> 01:18:40,680 坐在後面是我的鐵JJ朋友 他同意幫我變硬 My chrome- penised friend back there, has agreed to do me this solid. 879 01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:45,220 作為交換 我會考慮加入他的男子樂團 In exchange, I said I would consider joining his boy band. 880 01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:48,180 - 這不是什麼男子樂團 - 你開心就好 - It's not boy band. - Sure, it's not. 881 01:18:48,730 --> 01:18:50,990 那麼 有信心贏回吉塔的芳心嗎? - So, any luck winning Gita back? 882 01:18:51,590 --> 01:18:57,730 我試過了 死侍先生 但班度比我狡猾比我帥氣 I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool, but Bandu is more craftier and handsomer than me. 883 01:18:57,830 --> 01:19:00,730 我覺得你比較聰明 Well, I think you're pretty darn cute. 884 01:19:05,730 --> 01:19:07,730 - 杜皮特? - 嗯? - Dopinder? - Hmm? 885 01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:18,430 - 什麼情況? - 那是...班度 在後備箱裡 - What was that? - That was........ Bandu, in the trunk? 886 01:19:18,530 --> 01:19:21,730 - 班~誰? - 我的魔幻愛情競爭對手 班度 - Ban- who? - My romantic rival, Bandu. 887 01:19:21,830 --> 01:19:24,150 他被我綁在後備箱裡 如你所言 死侍先生 He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you said, DP, 888 01:19:24,150 --> 01:19:28,160 我計畫像碳烤魚一樣剖開他 把他扔在吉塔的門前 I plan to gut him like a tandoori fish then dump his carcass on Gita's doorstep. 889 01:19:28,830 --> 01:19:33,730 我沒有那樣說過! 絕對沒有! 我們交流有點障礙 I did not tell him to do that! Absolutely not! We got lost in translation! 890 01:19:33,830 --> 01:19:38,030 杜皮特 這樣可贏不了吉塔的芳心! (我真為你驕傲) Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back! (I'm so proud of you.) 891 01:19:38,130 --> 01:19:41,430 溫柔地把班度安全放下 (殺了他) Drop Bandu off safe and gentle- like. (Kill him.) 892 01:19:41,530 --> 01:19:47,730 然後 以最古老的方式 用你的男孩真情打動她! (綁架她) And then, win Gita back the old- fashioned way, with your boyish charm! (Kidnap her.) 893 01:19:48,730 --> 01:19:50,730 他死定了 He's super dead. 894 01:19:55,730 --> 01:19:59,730 - 是不是要來個5連擊? - 為了你? 10連擊! - I presume a crisp high- five? - For you? Ten! 895 01:20:00,230 --> 01:20:04,730 好吧 夥計們 我們下車大幹一場吧! (你知道該怎麼做了吧) Okay, guys, let's get out there and make a difference! (You know what to do.) 896 01:20:06,130 --> 01:20:07,730 幹掉他們 帥小夥! Knock 'em dead, pool boy! 897 01:20:09,730 --> 01:20:12,330 好想來個恰米強克捲 Time to make the chimi- fucking- changas. 898 01:20:13,430 --> 01:20:21,920 一般人做不到這樣: 幫你毀容 滅你心智 搶走你的孩子他媽 你有10次倒楣他有8次沾光 Not often a dude ruins your face, skullstomps your sanity, grabs your baby mama and personally sees thru 4 of your 5 shittiest moments. 899 01:20:22,330 --> 01:20:26,730 有點開始像耶誕節了 Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 900 01:20:26,670 --> 01:20:27,580 ♪ X gon' give it to ya ♪ 901 01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:30,100 ♪ Fuck wait for you to get it on your own ♪ 902 01:20:30,130 --> 01:20:31,130 ♪ X gon' deliver to ya ♪ 903 01:20:31,150 --> 01:20:33,250 ♪ Knock knock, open up the door, it's real ♪ 904 01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:36,180 ♪ Wit the non-stop, pop, pop and stainless steel ♪ 905 01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:37,210 ♪ Go hard getting busy wit it ♪ 906 01:20:37,230 --> 01:20:39,230 ♪ But I got such a good heart ♪ 907 01:20:39,330 --> 01:20:42,730 你的彈藥包呢? Hey, where's your duffel bag? 908 01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:01,910 班度!!! 你還好嗎 Bandu! 909 01:21:05,730 --> 01:21:10,730 日了狗了! 好吧 以最古老的方式 用兩把劍... Goddammit! We'll do this the old- fashioned way. With two swords.. 910 01:21:11,830 --> 01:21:13,230 以及最大努力 ... and maximum effort. 911 01:21:13,330 --> 01:21:15,730 音樂繼續 Cue the music. 912 01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:16,250 ♪ I'm a wolf in sheep clothing ♪ 913 01:21:16,250 --> 01:21:18,250 ♪ Only nigga that you know who can chill ♪ 914 01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:19,280 ♪ Come back and get the streets open ♪ 915 01:21:19,300 --> 01:21:21,300 ♪ I've been doing this for nineteen years ♪ 916 01:21:21,330 --> 01:21:24,230 ♪ Niggas wanna fight me? Fight these tears ♪ 917 01:21:30,730 --> 01:21:32,730 韋德·威爾森 Wade Wilson! 918 01:21:33,730 --> 01:21:37,730 - 我的名字是? - 唔 要我教他怎麼拼嗎 - What's my name? - Ooh, I'mma fucking spell it out for 'ya. 919 01:21:39,730 --> 01:21:44,730 - 看你發揮了 - 超級英雄登陸 她要登陸了 快看! - Go get some. - Superhero landing. She's gonna do a superhero landing, wait for it! 920 01:21:48,730 --> 01:21:53,730 超級英雄登陸! 請獻出你的膝蓋 真誇張 他們城會玩 Superhero landing! You know, that's really hard on your knees. Totally impractical, they all do it. 921 01:21:53,830 --> 01:21:58,430 你是個可愛的女人 但我要跟 弗蘭西斯打 所以他是你的了 You're a lovely lady but I'm saving myself for Francis. That's why I brought him. 922 01:21:58,580 --> 01:22:02,730 我不喜歡打女人 所以請你—— I'd prefer not to hit a woman, so please- - - - 923 01:22:08,730 --> 01:22:11,730 我是說 她是你的了? I mean, that's why I brought her? 924 01:22:13,430 --> 01:22:18,730 不會吧 趕緊寫完微博 對面等我們一下 去吧 分享你的話題 Oh no. Finish your tweet. Just give us a second. Here you go. Hash tag it. 925 01:22:19,730 --> 01:22:21,730 搞定她 猛女 Go get her, tiger. 926 01:22:28,730 --> 01:22:32,730 不知道畢業舞會上哪個倒楣鬼上了她 I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. 927 01:22:32,830 --> 01:22:35,030 好吧 開火! Alright then. Fire! 928 01:22:46,230 --> 01:22:47,920 幹死她! Finish fucking her the fuck off! 929 01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:50,230 - 注意措辭! - 吹喇叭! - Language, please. - Suck a cock! 930 01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:20,030 少兒不宜 孩子 看旁邊! Look away, child. Look away! 931 01:23:26,730 --> 01:23:31,730 - 等一下! - 停火! - Wait! Wait! - Cease fire! Cease fire! 932 01:23:32,330 --> 01:23:39,230 小夥子們 嘿 你們替那個蠢蛋幹活 Fellas, hey, you only work for that shit- spackled Muppet fart. 933 01:23:39,330 --> 01:23:43,150 我給你們一個機會 放下你們的武器 So, I'mma give you a chance for y'all to lay down your firearms 934 01:23:43,150 --> 01:23:47,750 作為交換 我們會給你們優先的 溫柔的 in exchange for preferential, bordering on gentle, possibly... 935 01:23:48,230 --> 01:23:50,630 近乎愛一般的治療 ... even lover- like treatment. 936 01:23:52,230 --> 01:23:54,830 好吧 突破! Fine! Commando! 937 01:25:06,830 --> 01:25:08,230 T-bag 指一個男人把他的睾丸放在另外一個男人/女人的嘴裡 938 01:25:06,830 --> 01:25:08,230 嘗嘗我的茶包 T-bag! 939 01:25:11,230 --> 01:25:14,630 - 鮑伯? - 韋德? - Bob? - Wade? 940 01:25:14,830 --> 01:25:18,630 - 天哪 上次見到你還是在星期五餐廳 - 傑克遜維爾市 星期五餐廳 - Oh my God, I haven't seen you since, TGIFridays! - Jacksonville. Fridays. 941 01:25:19,230 --> 01:25:23,830 天哪! 你竟然來這了 What the hell! God! Come here, you. 942 01:25:25,230 --> 01:25:32,230 那些孩子們還好嗎? 蓋爾呢? 她還在整那金槍魚砂鍋嗎? 不錯 但是... How are the kids? Good? And Gail, is she still fixing that tuna casserole? It's so good, but bad for... 943 01:25:39,230 --> 01:25:48,230 - 你的...左邊的...你很漂亮... - 你真體貼! 謝謝! - Your... on the left... You are beautiful... - That is so sweet! Thanks! 944 01:25:58,230 --> 01:26:02,230 地上的人拼成弗蘭西斯字樣 945 01:25:58,230 --> 01:26:02,230 他有沒有給你寫過小紙條? 如此浪漫 Does he write you notes, too? He's such a romantic. 946 01:26:02,330 --> 01:26:04,230 別擔心寶貝 我來了 Don't worry, baby. I'm coming. 947 01:26:05,230 --> 01:26:06,530 開火! Fire! 948 01:26:13,230 --> 01:26:17,230 嘿! 從這上去 Hey! Climb on. 949 01:27:06,230 --> 01:27:10,230 這該死的傢伙應該穿棕色爛褲子 Motherfucker shoulda worn his brown pants. 950 01:27:11,230 --> 01:27:16,830 - 你說的對 美女 紅色是我的顏色 - 韋德? - You were right, beautiful. Red really is my color. - Wade? 951 01:27:16,930 --> 01:27:20,880 別擔心寶貝 我馬上救你出來 Don't worry, baby. I'mma get you outta that shitbox. 952 01:27:21,030 --> 01:27:25,230 不如你爬回來 這是專為你設置的 - 噢 這你都沒丟下 - What better way to crawl back inside that head of yours. - Oh, you never left. 953 01:27:25,330 --> 01:27:29,230 - 但你丟下我了 混蛋 - 深呼吸 親愛的 - But you did, asshole! - Deep breath, darling. 954 01:27:30,230 --> 01:27:35,230 不等了... 聽你們說話真讓人不爽 No wait.... Wrong choice of words. 955 01:27:36,230 --> 01:27:40,630 我希望你的每條末梢神經都感覺不到疼痛 我馬上就來檢查! Well I hope they've blocked pain to your every last nerve. 'Cause I'mma go looking! 956 01:27:42,030 --> 01:27:47,330 我聽說你能長出身體零部件了 韋德 當我完事後 我看剩個什麼能長出你? I hear you grow back body parts now, Wade. When I'm finished, what's left to grow back you? 957 01:27:47,480 --> 01:27:51,230 說的真好... 不錯 說的好聽 Good one.... Yup. That was a good one. 958 01:27:51,830 --> 01:27:56,580 我們來跳個舞吧 跳舞的意思是殺不死你信不信 Let's dance. And by "dance", I mean let's try to kill each other. 959 01:28:50,830 --> 01:28:56,230 - 好拳法 - 你上週六晚上也是這麼說的嗎 - Fine. Fists. - Sounds like your last Saturday night. 960 01:29:49,740 --> 01:29:52,740 ♪ You know our love was meant to be ♪ 961 01:29:55,770 --> 01:29:59,770 ♪ The kind of love to last forever ♪ 962 01:30:02,800 --> 01:30:05,800 ♪ And I want you here with me ♪ 963 01:30:08,830 --> 01:30:13,830 ♪ From tonight until the end of time ♪ 964 01:30:14,760 --> 01:30:17,270 ♪ You should know♪ 965 01:30:16,230 --> 01:30:20,230 混蛋! Asshole! 966 01:30:19,540 --> 01:30:21,190 ♪everywhere I go ♪ 967 01:30:21,770 --> 01:30:27,780 ♪ Always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul ♪ 968 01:30:27,800 --> 01:30:31,800 ♪ Baby, you're the meaning in my life ♪ 969 01:30:31,830 --> 01:30:34,830 ♪ You're the inspiration ♪ 970 01:30:34,860 --> 01:30:37,860 ♪ Wanna have you near me ♪ 971 01:30:38,780 --> 01:30:41,790 ♪ I wanna have you hear me saying ♪ 972 01:30:42,810 --> 01:30:47,820 ♪ No one needs you more than I need you ♪ 973 01:30:47,840 --> 01:30:51,850 ♪ needs you more than I... ♪ 974 01:31:15,230 --> 01:31:20,230 - 堅持住寶貝 抓到你了 - 韋德! - Hang in there, baby. I got you. - Wade! 975 01:31:22,230 --> 01:31:24,930 我有個計畫 你可能不會喜歡 I got a plan. You're not gonna like it. 976 01:31:35,220 --> 01:31:36,430 完了完了 Shit, shit, shit! 977 01:31:41,810 --> 01:31:44,770 別擔心 我很擅於應對這種情況 Don't worry! I'm totally on top of this. 978 01:32:00,740 --> 01:32:05,040 該死! 全力以赴啦! Dammit! Maximum effort! 979 01:32:47,230 --> 01:32:49,230 謝謝 Thanks. 980 01:32:53,550 --> 01:32:55,670 慢點別急 Just take it slow. 981 01:33:06,140 --> 01:33:08,930 天啊! 真是神奇—— Oh, my God! That was so awe- - - 982 01:33:42,260 --> 01:33:47,310 - 我和你 要對這黃油臉做個了斷! - 什麼? - Me and you, are headed to fix this butter face! - What? 983 01:33:49,690 --> 01:33:52,060 你真是個傻逼 You sure are a fucking idiot. 984 01:33:52,730 --> 01:33:58,830 你以為你還有的救嗎? Did you really think there was a cure, for that? 985 01:33:59,230 --> 01:34:03,230 - 什麼? - 你聽到我說的了 - What? - You heard me. 986 01:34:03,330 --> 01:34:06,230 不! No, no! 987 01:34:13,830 --> 01:34:21,550 所以 你是說 搞了半天 你還原不了我的臉啦? So, you mean to say... After all this, you can't fix me? 988 01:34:21,730 --> 01:34:24,430 你說這話的口吻更傻逼 It sounds even stupider when you say it. 989 01:34:24,630 --> 01:34:29,230 傻逼到這種程度: 我留他小命的唯一理由他還主動放棄? Like the kind of stupid who admits he can't do the one thing I'm keeping him alive for? 990 01:34:33,230 --> 01:34:35,230 有遺言嗎? Any last words? 991 01:34:36,940 --> 01:34:40,740 - 我的名字是? - 誰他媽關心! - What's my name? - Who fucking cares! 992 01:34:40,820 --> 01:34:41,700 韋德! Wade! 993 01:34:42,740 --> 01:34:46,870 - 四到五刻 - 你說什麼? - Four or five moments. - I'm sorry? 994 01:34:47,080 --> 01:34:50,960 - 總共只有四到五刻 - 來...? - Four or five moments, that's all it takes. - To...? 995 01:34:51,330 --> 01:34:53,230 成為一個英雄 Be a hero. 996 01:34:55,290 --> 01:34:59,190 許多人以為這是個全職工作 一覺醒來就是英雄 Everyone thinks it's a full- time job. Wake up a hero. 997 01:34:59,190 --> 01:35:03,490 刷牙的時候還是英雄 去上班還是英雄 並非如此 Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. 998 01:35:04,230 --> 01:35:09,230 人的一生當中 只有四到五個真正重要的時刻 Over a lifetime, there are only 4 or 5 moments that really matter. 999 01:35:09,330 --> 01:35:12,030 就是當你面臨抉擇的時刻 Moments when you're offered a choice. 1000 01:35:12,230 --> 01:35:16,230 犧牲小我 克服缺點 拯救朋友... To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend... 1001 01:35:17,230 --> 01:35:20,230 ...寬恕敵人 ... spare an enemy. 1002 01:35:20,330 --> 01:35:25,230 此時此刻 世間萬物為之黯然褪色 In these moments, everything else falls away. 1003 01:35:25,330 --> 01:35:30,230 世界見證著我們 我們... The way the world sees us. The way we- - - 1004 01:35:34,380 --> 01:35:35,900 為什麼? Why? 1005 01:35:36,430 --> 01:35:38,610 你說話根本停不下來! You were droning on! 1006 01:35:38,660 --> 01:35:41,880 好吧 我確實長的像個義大利烤腸麵包 Sure, I may be stuck with a what like pepperoni flatbread 1007 01:35:41,910 --> 01:35:44,660 但醜八怪不會因為你說的好聽就治癒了 but at least fuckface won't heal from that. 1008 01:35:44,700 --> 01:35:49,200 我會穿上超級英雄緊身裝 像個深井冰一樣 I could wear Superhero tights and spare a psychopath, 1009 01:35:49,270 --> 01:35:51,470 但你以為我想穿啊 but maybe I wasn't meant to wear them 1010 01:35:51,520 --> 01:35:53,810 不是每個人都像你一樣 型男 Not everyone modern has a hall like you. 1011 01:35:53,880 --> 01:35:56,160 - 答應我 - 好吧好吧 - Just promise. - Yeah yeah, 1012 01:35:56,250 --> 01:36:00,340 我會注意另外四個重要時刻 操蛋的人生! I'll be on the lookout for the next 4 moments. Shit! 1013 01:36:00,560 --> 01:36:02,490 現在 給我一點私人時間 Now, if you'll excuse me, 1014 01:36:02,710 --> 01:36:04,520 作為一個男孩 I'm just a boy, 1015 01:36:04,860 --> 01:36:08,140 將要站在女孩面前告訴她... about to stand in front of a girl and tell her... 1016 01:36:08,100 --> 01:36:13,000 - 我怎麼跟她解釋? - 你最好快點想 - What the fuck am I gonna tell her? - Well, you better figure it out. 1017 01:36:15,500 --> 01:36:20,000 你知道嗎... 打得好... 這也是... 不不不 下麵不行 I can't even tell you... I deserve that... that too.. No, no, no, maybe not the nethers. 1018 01:36:20,300 --> 01:36:22,500 說啊! Start talking! 1019 01:36:23,900 --> 01:36:31,100 對不起 對不起 這一切 我的離開對不起你 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for leaving, 1020 01:36:31,500 --> 01:36:38,500 - 對不起我沒有早一點挑戰生死線... 這幾年我過的很艱難 - 艱難? - I'm sorry for not cowboying up sooner... It's been a rough couple of years. - Rough? 1021 01:36:44,500 --> 01:36:49,500 我住在一個毒品交易所 和一個12人的家庭住在一起... I live in a crackhouse. With a family of 12... 1022 01:36:50,900 --> 01:36:55,500 每晚我們抱團取暖 每個人為諾艾爾賣命 她就是最胖的那個 Every night we spoon for warmth, everybody fights for Noelle. She's the fattest. 1023 01:36:55,600 --> 01:37:01,500 沒有什麼不是共用的 地板空間 牙線 甚至避孕套 There is nothing that we don't share. Floor space, dental floss, even condoms. 1024 01:37:09,500 --> 01:37:12,180 所以你住在房子裡? So you live in a house? 1025 01:37:20,500 --> 01:37:23,500 我該早點來找你的 I should've come and found you sooner. 1026 01:37:24,500 --> 01:37:29,500 但是這個面具下的一切 和你記憶中的相去甚遠 But everything under this mask, he ain't the same one you remember. 1027 01:37:33,500 --> 01:37:35,500 你做了這個面具? You made this mask? 1028 01:37:54,500 --> 01:37:59,800 還有一個 防止另一個掉了 And this one. In case the other fell off. 1029 01:38:04,500 --> 01:38:11,500 哇奧 像個創可貼一樣 輕... 奧- 迪5000 等等 Like a band- aid. Just... Audi 5000. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1030 01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:13,500 你確定要看嗎? Are you sure? 1031 01:38:14,500 --> 01:38:16,500 我確定 I'm sure. 1032 01:38:26,880 --> 01:38:29,500 - 哇奧 - 是的 - Wow. - Yeah. 1033 01:38:40,590 --> 01:38:45,590 經過簡單調養 再來一紮飲料 After a brief adjustment period, and a bunch of drinks.. 1034 01:38:45,680 --> 01:38:48,590 這張臉... It's a face... 1035 01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:54,590 我會很樂意坐上去 I'd be happy to sit on. 1036 01:39:01,590 --> 01:39:08,590 這套衣服下面也不一樣了 超級大JJ But I'm not the same underneath this suit either. Super- penis. 1037 01:39:08,690 --> 01:39:12,590 咳咳 韋德 注意措辭 還有未成年人在場 Come on, Wade, language. Young one is present. 1038 01:39:13,590 --> 01:39:17,590 你們還在這裡幹什麼 去吧 去幹活去 What are you still doing - - - - Get outta here, go make yourself useful. 1039 01:39:17,690 --> 01:39:22,600 你 去當真正的大哥大去 告訴野獸們不要在我草坪上拉屎 You, go be a really big brother to someone. Tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn. 1040 01:39:22,690 --> 01:39:28,290 還有你 雞肉面 《你無可替代》希妮德·奧康娜 1990年發行 抱歉 And you, chicken noodle. Nothing Compares 2 U. Sinead O'Connor, 1990. Sorry. 1041 01:39:28,590 --> 01:39:34,590 - 這還差不多 你很酷 - 什麼鬼? - That's all right. You're cool. - What in the ass? 1042 01:39:34,690 --> 01:39:41,590 - 剛才不是認真的! 我為你驕傲! - 你正式加入我們X戰警了 韋德 - That was not mean! I'm proud of you! - We will make an X- Man of you yet, Wade. 1043 01:39:41,690 --> 01:39:47,590 有那麼一秒鐘 我以為我們3個迷你戰神金剛要合併成一個超大金剛 You know, for a second there, it felt like we were 3 mini lion robots coming together to form one super robot. 1044 01:39:47,590 --> 01:39:50,590 - 這種想法蠢透了 - 是的 - This was stupid. - Yeah. 1045 01:39:53,590 --> 01:39:58,590 終於等到這一刻了 And now, for the moment I've all been waiting for. 1046 01:40:01,590 --> 01:40:03,590 來吧 Come here. 1047 01:40:12,590 --> 01:40:16,590 威猛樂隊! 我承諾過的 WHAM! As promised. 1048 01:40:28,590 --> 01:40:32,590 看到沒? 找女朋友不需要變成一個超級英雄 See? You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. 1049 01:40:33,590 --> 01:40:36,590 遇到對的人會喚起你內心的英雄 The right girl will bring out the hero in you. 1050 01:40:36,690 --> 01:40:44,890 現在 看完這段史詩般的廣角 拔腿起身 慢走... 看起來不錯 這不是今晚唯一要拔出的東西 Now, let's finish this epic wide shot, pull out, here we go... Looks nice, not gonna be the only thing that's pulling out tonight. 1051 01:40:44,990 --> 01:40:47,100 誰不喜歡圓滿結局 是吧? Who doesn't love a happy ending, huh? 1052 01:40:48,000 --> 01:40:51,710 下一次 你的好鄰居死侍在唱... Until next time, this is your friendly neighborhood Pool guy singing... 1053 01:40:51,940 --> 01:40:54,050 ♪ I'm never gonna dance again ♪ 我已經不能再跳舞 1054 01:40:54,060 --> 01:40:57,910 ♪ The way I dance with you, oh ♪ 以不去重溫與你走過的舞步 1055 01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:05,910 ♪The way without you♪ 不能與你重溫舞步 1056 01:41:10,290 --> 01:41:13,300 ♪Tonight the music seems so loud♪ 今晚的音樂看似過於喧囂 1057 01:41:13,300 --> 01:41:16,590 ♪I wish that we could lose this crowd♪ 但願我們能避開人群 1058 01:41:16,590 --> 01:41:19,590 ♪Maybe it's better this way♪ 也許這樣會比較好 1059 01:41:19,590 --> 01:41:22,760 ♪We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say♪ 我們可以用真心話來傷害彼此 1060 01:41:22,760 --> 01:41:25,890 ♪We could have been so good together♪ 我們本該是令人羡慕的一對 1061 01:41:25,890 --> 01:41:28,940 ♪We could have lived this dance forever♪ 我們本該讓這曲共舞永無終結 1062 01:41:28,940 --> 01:41:33,900 ♪But now who's gonna dance with me♪ 但現在也沒人原意與我共舞 1063 01:41:33,900 --> 01:41:35,780 ♪Please stay♪ 留下來好嗎 1064 01:41:35,780 --> 01:41:38,450 ♪I'm never gonna dance again♪ 我再也不跳舞了 1065 01:41:38,450 --> 01:41:42,070 ♪Guilty feet have got no rhythm♪ 充滿罪惡的雙腳抓不住節奏 1066 01:41:42,070 --> 01:41:44,790 ♪Though it's easy to pretend♪ 雖然偽裝很容易 1067 01:41:44,790 --> 01:41:48,160 ♪I know you're not a fool♪ 但我知道你也並非傻瓜 1068 01:41:48,160 --> 01:41:51,170 ♪I should have known better than to cheat a friend♪ 早知不該欺騙朋友 1069 01:41:51,170 --> 01:41:54,800 ♪And waste a chance that I'd been given♪ 也浪費了被賜予的大好機會 1070 01:41:54,800 --> 01:41:57,420 ♪So I'm never gonna dance again♪ 所以我不再跳舞了 1071 01:41:57,420 --> 01:42:03,140 ♪The way I danced with you♪ 不能再如往日一般與你共舞 1072 01:42:14,230 --> 01:42:17,360 ♪Now that you're gone♪ 如今 你已離我而去 1073 01:42:17,360 --> 01:42:21,740 ♪I did so wrong So wrong♪ 我犯下的錯真的如此深重嗎 1074 01:42:21,740 --> 01:42:26,160 ♪that you had to leave me alone♪ 令你離我而去 只留下我孤身一人 1075 01:47:07,690 --> 01:47:09,690 你還在 You're still here. 1076 01:47:11,690 --> 01:47:14,990 放完了! 回家去吧! It's over! Go home! 1077 01:47:16,710 --> 01:47:21,290 哦 你還在期待《死侍2》的預告片 好吧 我們預算不夠啊 Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don't have that kind of money. 1078 01:47:21,490 --> 01:47:29,690 你在期待誰 薩繆爾·傑克遜亮相? 眼罩? 葷段子? 快走吧 What were you expecting, Sam Jackson'll show up? Eye patch? Saucy leather? Go, go. 1079 01:47:21,490 --> 01:47:29,690 薩繆爾·傑克遜 飾演神盾局局長 帶著個眼罩 1080 01:47:30,340 --> 01:47:34,600 本片的製作和發行有超過13000位工作者進行了辛勤的付出 總計花費超過數十萬個小時 1081 01:47:34,680 --> 01:47:37,690 哦 但是我能告訴你一點小秘密 Oh! But I can tell you one thing and it's a bit of a secret. 1082 01:47:37,690 --> 01:47:41,020 電索 死侍的好朋友 1083 01:47:37,690 --> 01:47:41,020 續集裡 電索將會登場 In the sequel, we're gonna have Cable. 1084 01:47:41,380 --> 01:47:45,320 能力出眾 生化手臂 時光旅行 我們還沒決定誰來演 Amazing character. Bionic arm, time- travel. We have no idea who to cast yet, 1085 01:47:45,350 --> 01:47:47,290 只要是個平頭壯漢就行 but it could be anybody. Just take a big guy with a flat top. 1086 01:47:47,390 --> 01:47:53,690 可以是梅爾·吉布森 道夫·龍格爾 凱拉·奈特利 她好像有檔期了 誰知道呢 反正 是個迷 Could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Keira Knightley. She's got range, who knows? Anyway, big secret. 1087 01:47:53,890 --> 01:47:59,290 記得不要亂丟垃圾哦 鄙視這種行為 回去吧 And don't leave your garbage rotting around. It's a total dick move. Go.