There was me.
That is, Alex, and my three droogs.
That is, Pete, Georgie and Dim.
And we sat in the Korova Milk Bar, trying to make up our rassoodocks...
... what to do with the evening.
The Korova Milk Bar sold milk plus.
Milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom...
... which is what we were drinking.
This would sharpen you up...
... and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.
In Dublin 's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes
On sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow
Crying, "Cockles and mussels..."
One thing I could never stand...
... was to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie...
... howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers...
... and going "blerp blerp" in between...
... as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking guts.
I could never stand to see anyone like that, whatever his age.
But more especially when he was real old, like this one was.
Can you spare some cutter, me brothers?
Go on! Do me in, you bastard cowards! I don't want to live anyway.
Not in a stinking world like this.
And what's so stinking about it?
It's a stinking world because there's no law and order anymore!
It stinks because it lets the young get onto the old...
...like you done!
It's no world for an old man any longer.
What kind of a world is it at all?
Men on the moon.
Men spinning around the earth.
And there's not no attention paid...
...to earthly law and order no more.
Oh, dear land
I fought for thee
It was at the derelict casino that we came across Billy-boy...
... and his four droogs.
They were about to perform a little of the old...
... in-out, in-out on a weepy young devotchka they had there.
Well, if it isn't fat, stinking...
...billy goat Billy-boy in poison.
How are thou...
...thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil?
Come and get one in the yarbles...
...if you have any yarbles...
...you eunuch jelly, thou.
Let's get them, boys!
The police!
Come on. Let's go!
The Durango 95 purred away real horrorshow.
A nice, warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.
Soon it was trees and dark, my brothers...
... with real country dark.
We fillied around with other travelers of the night...
... playing Hogs of the Road.
Then we headed west.
What we were after now was the old surprise visit.
That was a real kick...
... and good for laughs and lashing of the old ultra-violent.
Who on earth could that be?
I'll go and see.
Yes, who is it?
Excuse me, can you please help? There's been a terrible accident!
My friend's bleeding to death! Can I please use your telephone?
We don't have a telephone. You'll have to go somewhere else.
But, missus, it's a matter of life and death!
Who is it, dear?
A young man. He says there's been an accident.
He wants to use the telephone.
I suppose you better let him in.
Wait a minute, will you?
I'm sorry, but we don't usually let strangers in...
What do you want from me?
Pete, check the rest of the house. Dim...
I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun 's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
And I'm singing
Just singing...
... in the rain
Viddy well, little brother.
Viddy well.
We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed...
... it having been an evening of some small energy expenditure.
So we got rid of the auto and stopped at the Korova for a nightcap.
Hello, Lucy.
Had a busy night?
We've been working hard too.
Pardon me, Luce.
There was some sophistos from the TV studios around the corner...
... laughing and govoreeting.
The devotchka smeched away, not caring about the wicked world one bit.
Then the disk on the stereo twanged off and out.
And in the short silence before the next one came on...
... she suddenly came with a burst of singing.
And it was like, for a moment, O my brothers...
... some great bird had flown into the milk bar.
And I felt all the malenky little hairs on my plott...
... standing endwise.
And the shivers crawling up like slow, malenky lizards...
... and then down again.
Because I knew what she sang.
It was a bit from the glorious Ninth, by Ludwig van.
What did you do that for?
For being a bastard with no manners.
Without a dook of an idea about how to comport yourself public-wise.
I don't like you should do what you done.
And I'm not your brother no more and wouldn't want to be.
Watch that.
Do watch that, if to continue to be on live thou dost wish.
Yarbles!
Great, bouncy yarblockos to you!
I'll meet you with chain or nozh or britva anytime.
I'm not having you aiming tolchocks at me reasonless.
It stands to reason, I won't have it.
A nozh scrap anytime you say.
Doobidoob.
A bit tired maybe.
Best not to say more.
Bedways is rightways now.
So best we go homeways and get a bit of spatchka.
Right, right?
Where I lived was with my dada and mum...
... in municipal flat block 1 8- A, Linear North.
It had been a wonderful evening.
And what I needed now to give it the perfect ending...
... was a bit of the old Ludwig van.
Oh, bliss!
Bliss and heaven!
It was gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh.
It was like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal.
Or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship...
... gravity all nonsense now.
As I slooshied...
... I knew such lovely pictures.
Alex. Alex!
What do you want?
It's past eight, Alex.
You don't want to be late for school, son.
Bit of a pain in the gulliver, Mum.
Leave us be, and I'll try and sleep it off.
And then I'll be as right as dodgers for this after.
But you've not been to school all week, son.
Got to rest, Mum.
Got to get fit.
Otherwise, I'm liable to miss a lot more school.
I'll put your breakfast in the oven. I've got to be off meself now.
All right, Mum. Have a nice day at the factory.
He's not feeling too good again this morning, Dad.
Yes. Yes, I heard.
You know what time he got in?
No, I don't. I'd taken me sleepers.
I wonder...
...where exactly is it he goes to work of evenings.
Like he says...
...it's mostly odd things he does.
Helping-like...
...here and there, as it might be.
Hi, hi, hi, Mr. Deltoid.
Funny surprise, seeing you here.
Alex-boy! Awake at last, yes?
I met your mother on the way to work, yes?
She gave me the key.
She said something about a pain somewhere.
Hence, not at school, yes?
A rather intolerable pain in the head, brother sir.
It should be clear by this afterlunch.
Or certainly by this evening, yes.
The evening's the great time, isn't it, Alex-boy?
- Cup of the old chai, sir? - No time, no time.
Sit, sit, sit!
To what do I owe this extreme pleasure, sir?
Anything wrong, sir?
Wrong? Why should you think of anything being wrong?
Have you been doing something you shouldn't?
Just a manner of speech.
Yes, well, it's just a manner of speech from your...
...post-corrective advisor to you that you watch out, little Alex.
Because next time it's not going to be the corrective school.
Next time it'll be the Barley place, and all my work ruined.
If you've no respect for yourself...
...you at least might have some for me, who sweated over you.
A big, black mark, I tell you, for every one we don't reclaim.
A confession of failure for every one of you...
...who ends up in the stripy hole.
I've been doing nothing I shouldn't.
The millicents have nothing on me, brother.
Sir, I mean.
Cut out this clever talk about millicents.
Just because the police haven't picked you up...
...doesn't mean that you've not been up to some nastiness.
There was a bit of nastiness last night. Some very extreme nastiness, yes?
A few of a certain Billy-boy's friends were ambulanced off late.
Your name was mentioned.
The words got to me by the usual channels.
Certain friends of yours were named also.
Nobody can prove anything about anybody, as usual.
I'm warning you, little Alex...
...being a good friend to you as always...
...the one man in this sore and sick community...
...who wants to save you from yourself!
What gets into you all?
We've been studying the problem for damn well near a century.
But we get no farther with our studies.
You got a good home here. Good, loving parents.
You've got not too bad of a brain.
Is it some devil that crawls inside of you?
Nobody's got anything on me.
I been out of the millicents' rookers for a long time.
That's just what worries me. A bit too long to be safe.
You're about due, by my reckoning.
That's why I'm warning you...
...to keep your handsome young proboscis out of the dirt.
Do I make myself clear?
As an unmuddied lake, sir.
As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer.
You can rely on me, sir.
Excuse me, brother.
I ordered this two weeks ago. Can you see if it's arrived?
Just a minute.
Pardon me, ladies.
Enjoying that, are you, my darling?
A bit cold and pointless, isn't it, my lovely?
What's happened to yours, my little sister?
Who you getting, bratty?
Goggly Gogol? Johnny Zhivago?
The Heaven 17?
What you got back home to play your fuzzy warbles on?
I bet you've got little pitiful, portable picnic players.
Come with Uncle and hear all proper.
Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones.
You are invited.
Hi, hi, hi, there.
Well, hello.
He are here! He have arrived!
Hooray!
Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well!
To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?
We got worried.
There we were, waiting and drinking away at the old knifey moloko...
...and you had not turned up.
And we thought you might have been, like...
...offended by something or other.
So around we come to your abode.
Appy polly loggies.
I had something of a pain in the gulliver, so I had to sleep.
I was not awakened when I gave orders for wakening.
Sorry about the pain.
Using the gulliver too much-like, maybe.
Giving orders and discipline and such, perhaps.
You sure the pain is gone?
You sure you'd not be happier back in bed?
Let's get things nice and sparkling clear.
This sarcasm, if I may call it such...
...does not become you, my little brothers.
As I am your droog and leader I'm entitled to know what goes on.
Now then, Dim.
What does that great big horsey gape of a grin portend?
All right, no more picking on Dim, brother.
That's part of the new way.
New way? What's this about a new way?
There's been some very large talk behind my sleeping back, I know it.
If you must have it, have it, then.
We go around shop crasting and the like...
...coming out with a pitiful rookerfull of money each.
And Will the English in the coffee mesto...
...saying he can fence anything any malchick tries to crast.
The shiny stuff. The ice!
The big, big money's available, is what Will the English says.
And what will you do with the big, big, big money?
Have you not everything you need?
If you need a motorcar, you pluck it from the trees.
If you need pretty polly, you take it.
Brother, you think and talk sometimes like a little child.
Tonight we pull a man-size crast.
Good! Real horrorshow!
Initiative comes to thems that wait.
I've taught you much, my little droogies.
Now tell me what you had in mind, Georgie-boy.
The old moloko plus first. Would you not say?
- Something to sharpen us up. - Some moloko plus.
You got to go there first. We got a start on you. Moloko Plus!
As we walked along the flatblock marina...
... I was calm on the outside, but thinking all the time.
So now it was to be Georgie the General...
... saying what we should do and what not to do.
And Dim as his mindless, grinning bulldog.
But suddenly I viddied that thinking was for the gloopy ones...
... and that the oomny ones used, like, inspiration and what Bog sends.
For now it was lovely music that came to my aid.
There was a window open with a stereo on...
... and I viddied right at once what to do.
I had not cut into any of Dim's main cables.
And so with the help of a clean tashtook...
... the red, red kroovy soon stopped.
And it did not take long to quieten the two wounded soldiers...
... down in the snug of the Duke of New York.
Now they knew who was master and leader.
Sheep, thought I.
But a real leader knows always when, like...
... to give and show generous to his unders.
Now we're back to where we were.
Yes?
Just like before, and all forgotten?
Right, right, right?
Right.
Well, Georgie-boy...
...this idea of yours for tonight. Tell us all about it, then.
Not tonight.
Not this nochy.
Come, come, come, Georgie-boy.
You're a big, strong chelloveck, like us all.
We're not little children, are we, Georgie-boy?
What, then, didst thou in thy mind have?
It's this health farm.
A bit out of the town.
Isolated.
It's owned by this rich ptitsa who lives there with her cats.
The place is shut down for a week and she's completely on her own.
It's full up with, like, gold and silver...
... and, like, jewels.
Tell me more, Georgie-boy. Tell me more.
Oh, shit!
Who's there?
Excuse me, can you please help?
There's been a terrible accident!
Can I please use your telephone for an ambulance?
I'm frightfully sorry.
There's a telephone in the public house a mile down the road.
I suggest you use that.
But missus, this is an emergency!
It's a matter of life and death!
Me friend's lying in the middle of the road, bleeding to death!
I'm very sorry, but I never open the door to strangers after dark.
Very well, madam.
You can't be blamed for being suspicious...
...with so many scoundrels and rogues of the night about.
I'll try and get help at the pub, then.
I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
Thank you very much. Good night.
Dim, bend down.
I'll get in that window and open the front door.
Radlett Police Station?
Good evening. It's Miss Weathers at Woodmere Health Farm.
I'm sorry to bother you, but something rather odd just happened.
It's probably nothing at all, but you never know.
A young man rang the bell, asking to use the telephone.
He said there's been some kind of accident.
The thing that caught my attention was what he said.
His words sounded like those quoted in the papers this morning...
...in connection with the writer and his wife who were assaulted.
Just a few minutes ago.
If you think that's necessary.
But I'm quite sure he's gone away now.
All right, fine.
Thank you very much.
Hi, hi, hi, there.
At last we meet.
Our brief govorett through the letter-hole was not satisfactory.
Who are you?
How the hell did you get in here?
What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
Naughty, naughty, naughty!
You filthy old soomaka.
Now listen here, you little bastard!
Just turn round and walk out of here the same way you came in.
Leave that alone! Don't touch it!
It's a very important work of art.
What the bloody hell do you want?
To be perfectly honest, madam...
...I'm taking part in an international students' contest...
...to see who can get the most points for selling magazines.
Cut the shit, sonny...
...and get out of here before you get yourself into serious trouble.
I told you to leave that alone! Now get out of here...
...before I throw you out!
Wretched, slummy bedbug!
I'll teach you to break into real people's houses.
Fucking...
...little...
...bastard!
- Let's go. The police are coming! - One minoota, droogie.
You bastards! I'm blind!
I'm blind, you bastards! I can't see!
It's no good sitting there in hope, my little brothers.
I won't say a single solitary slovo unless I have my lawyer here.
I know the law, you bastards.
Righty-right, Tom.
We'll have to show our friend Alex here that we know the law too.
But that knowing the law isn't everything.
Nasty cut you've got there, little Alex.
Shame, isn't it?
Spoils all your beauty.
Who gave you that, then?
How'd you do that, then?
What's your point, you bastard?
That is for your lady victim.
You ghastly...
...wretched scoundrel.
Get him off me!
You rotten little bastard!
Good evening, Mr. Deltoid.
Good evening, Sergeant.
They're in room B, sir.
Thank you very much.
Sergeant...
Good evening.
Good evening, Inspector.
- Would you like your tea now, sir? - No, thank you, Sergeant.
May I have some paper towels, please?
We're interrogating the prisoner now.
- Perhaps you'd care to come inside. - Thank you very much.
Good evening, Sergeant. Good evening, all.
Oh, dear! This boy does look a mess, doesn't he?
Just look at the state of him.
Love's young nightmare-like.
Violence makes violence.
He resisted his lawful arrestors.
This is the end of the line for me.
The end of the line, yes.
And what of me, brother sir?
Speak up for me. I'm not so bad.
I was led on by the treachery of others.
Sings the roof off lovely, he does, sir.
Where are my treacherous droogs? Get them before they get away!
It was all their idea, brothers.
They forced me to do it. I'm innocent!
You are now a murderer, little Alex.
A murderer.
Not true, sir.
It was only a slight tolchok.
She were breathing, I swear it.
I've just come from the hospital.
Your victim has died.
You try to frighten me. Admit so, sir.
This is some new form of torture.
- Say it, brother sir. - It'll be your own torture.
I hope to God it'll torture you to madness.
If you'd care to give him a bash in the chops, don't mind us.
We'll hold him down.
He must be a great disappointment to you, sir.
This is the real weepy and tragic part of the story beginning...
... O my brothers and only friends.
After a trial, with judges and a jury...
... and hard words spoken against your friend and humble narrator...
... he was sentenced to 14 years in Staja Number 84- F...
... among smelly perverts and hardened prestoopniks.
The shock sending my dada beating his bruised and krovvy rookers...
... against unfair Bog in His Heaven.
And my mum boo-hoo-hooing in her mother's grief...
... at her only child and son of her bosom...
... like, letting everybody down real horrorshow.
Morning. One up from Thames, mister.
Right! Open up the cell!
Yes, sir.
Here are the prisoner's committal forms.
Thank you, mister.
- Name? - Alexander DeLarge.
You are now in H.M. Prison Parkmoor.
From this moment, you will address all prison officers as "sir."
Name?
Alexander DeLarge, sir.
Sentence?
14 years, sir.
Crime?
Murder, sir.
Right. Take the cuffs off him, mister.
You are now 655321.
It is your duty to memorize that number.
Thank you, mister. Well done.
- Thank you. - Let the officer out.
All right, empty your pockets.
Are you able to see the white line painted on the floor...
...directly behind you...
...655321?
Then your toes belong...
...on the other side of it!
- Yes, sir. - Right.
Carry on.
Pick that up...
...and put it down properly.
One half-bar of chocolate.
One bunch of keys on white metal ring.
One packet of cigarettes.
Two plastic ball pens.
One black, one red.
One pocket comb, black plastic.
One address book, imitation red leather.
One ten-penny piece.
One white metal wristlet watch...
...Timawrist, on a white metal expanding bracelet.
Anything else in your pockets?
- No, sir. - Right.
Sign here for your valuable property.
The tobacco and chocolate you brought in...
...you lose that...
...as you are now convicted.
Now over to the table and get undressed.
Were you in police custody this morning?
One jacket, blue pinstriped.
Prison custody?
Yes, sir, on remand.
- One necktie, blue. - Religion?
C. Of E., sir.
Do you mean the Church of England?
Yes, sir. The Church of England.
Brown hair, isn't it?
Fair hair, sir.
Blue eyes?
Blue, sir.
Do you wear eyeglasses or contact lenses?
No, sir.
One shirt, blue. Collar attached.
Have you been receiving medical treatment for any serious illness?
One pair of boots, black leather. Zippered. Worn.
Have you ever had any mental illness?
Do you wear any false teeth or any false limbs?
One pair of trousers, blue pinstriped.
Have you ever had any attacks of fainting or dizziness?
One pair of socks, black.
Are you an epileptic?
One pair of underpants, white with blue waistband.
Are you now, or have you ever been, a homosexual?
Right.
- The mothballs, mister. - Mothballs, sir.
Now then, face the wall...
...bend over and touch your toes.
Any venereal disease?
Crabs? Lice?
- Through there for the bath. - One for a bath.
What's it going to be, eh?
Is it going to be in and out of institutions like this...
...though more in than out for most of you?
Or are you going to attend to the divine word...
...and realize the punishments that await unrepentant sinners...
...in the next world as well as this?
A lot of idiots you are...
...selling your birthright for a saucer of cold porridge.
The thrill of theft.
Of violence.
The urge to live easy.
Well, I ask you what is it worth...
...when we have undeniable proof...
...yes, incontrovertible evidence...
...that hell exists?
I know!
I know, my friends.
I have been informed...
...in visions...
...that there is a place...
...darker than any prison...
...hotter than any flame of human fire...
...where souls...
...of unrepentant criminal sinners like yourselves...
Don't you laugh, damn you! Don't you laugh.
I say, like yourselves...
...scream...
...in endless and unendurable agony.
Their skin...
...rotting and peeling.
A fireball...
...spinning in their screaming guts!
I know. Yes, I know!
All right, you lot! We'll end by singing hymn 258...
...in the prisoner's hymnal.
And let's have a little reverence, you bastards!
I was a wandering sheep
- Sing up, damn you! - I did not love the fold
Louder!
I did not love my shepherd's voice
I would not be controlled
Louder!
It had not been edifying. Indeed not.
Being in this hellhole and human zoo for two years now.
Being kicked and tolchoked by brutal warders...
... and meeting leering criminals and perverts...
... ready to dribble all over...
... a luscious young malchick like your storyteller.
It was my rabbit...
... to help the prison charlie with the Sunday service.
He was a bolshy, great burly bastard.
But he was very fond of myself, me being very young...
... and also now very interested in the Big Book.
I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns.
And I could viddy myself helping in...
... and even taking charge of the tolchoking and the nailing in.
Being dressed in the height of Roman fashion.
I didn 't so much like the latter part of the Book...
... which is more like all preachy talking...
... than fighting and the old in-out.
I like the parts where these old yahoodies tolchok each other...
... and then drink their Hebrew vino...
... and getting onto the bed with their wives ' handmaidens.
That kept me going.
"Seek not to be like evil men.
Neither desire to be with them...
...because their minds studieth robberies...
...and their lips speak deceits."
If thou lose hope, being weary in the days of distress...
...thy strength shall be diminished.
Fine, my son. Fine.
Father?
I have tried, have I not?
You have, my son.
- I've done my best, have I not? - Indeed.
I've never been guilty of any institutional infraction, have I?
You certainly have not, 655321. You've been very helpful.
And you've shown a genuine desire to reform.
Father...
...can I ask you a question in private?
Certainly, my son. Certainly.
Is there something troubling you, my son?
Don't be shy to speak up.
Remember...
...I know of the...
...urges that can trouble young men...
...deprived...
...of the society of women.
It's nothing like that, Father.
It's about this new thing they're all talking about.
About this new treatment.
It gets you out of prison in no time.
And makes sure you never get back in again.
Where did you hear about this?
Who's been talking about these things?
These things get around.
Two warders talk, as it might be.
And somebody can't help overhearing what they say.
Then somebody picks up a scrap of newspaper in the workshops...
...and the newspaper tells all about it.
How about putting me in for this new treatment?
I take it you are referring...
...to the Ludovico technique.
I don't know what it's called.
I just know it gets you out quickly...
...and makes sure you never get back in again.
That is not proven, 655321.
In fact, it is only in the experimental stage at this moment.
It has been used, hasn't it?
It has not been used in this prison yet.
The governor has grave doubts about it.
And I've heard there are very serious dangers involved.
I don't care about the dangers.
I just want to be good.
I want for the rest of my life to be...
...one act of goodness.
The question is...
...whether or not this technique really makes a man good.
Goodness comes from within.
Goodness...
...is chosen.
When a man cannot choose...
...he ceases to be a man.
I don't understand about the whys and wherefores, Father.
I only know I want to be good.
Be patient, my son.
Put your trust in the Lord.
Instruct Thy Son and He shall refresh thee...
...and shall give delight to thy soul.
Amen.
- Mister! - All present and correct, sir!
Right!
All present and correct, sir!
Prisoners, halt!
Now pay attention!
I want you in two lines...
...up against that wall, facing this way.
Go on, move!
Hurry up!
Stop talking!
Prisoners ready for inspection, sir!
How many to a cell?
Four in this block, sir.
Cram criminals together and what do you get?
Concentrated criminality. Crime in the midst of punishment.
I agree, sir. We need larger prisons, more money.
Not a chance, my dear fellow.
The government can't be concerned any longer...
...with outmoded penalogical theories.
Soon we may need all prison space for political offenders.
Common criminals are best dealt with on a purely curative basis.
Kill the criminal reflex, that's all.
Full implementation in a year's time.
Punishment means nothing to them.
They enjoy their so-called punishment.
You're absolutely right, sir.
Shut your bleeding hole!
Who said that?
I did, sir.